Sister of Syn

I didn't get out of bed until nearly two o'clock in the afternoon. The bus was speeding towards New York. I trudged to the front of the bus to find Kristy, Mickie, and Jeanie chatting with the pink-and-black haired girl who had been with Matt the night before. All of the guys were still in bed.

"Good morning!" Kristy said brightly. "This is Sara."

The girl with pink and black hair waved.

"Hi," I said, sitting at the table with Jeanie and Mickie.

"You should've stayed up with us last night," Mickie commented, pouring herself a bowl of Lucky Charms. "Dan and Dave challenged Shads and your brother to a battle of the bands on Rock Band."

"Who won?" I questioned.

"Who do you think won?" Brian said, emerging from the bunk area. He kissed Jeanie then turned to me. "Scoot over, tiddlywink."

I smiled at the use of one of my oldest nicknames and made room for him beside me. He plopped down and grabbed the box of Lucky Charms. Humming, he started picking out the marshmallows and dividing them between me and himself. I giggled.

"Haner!" Jeanie scolded.

Brian and I both looked up, widening our eyes innocently. Taking the box from Brian, Jeanie shook her head. "I don't know what to do with the two of you."

"Remember when we used to do this to Brent?" I asked Brian.

He laughed. "Yep. Every time Dad bought Lucky Charms. I don't think Brent ever got to try a Lucky Charms marshmallow until he moved out."

"You two were so mean to him," Jeanie said. "I'm surprised he didn't freak out and kill you both."

"Dad wouldn't have let him," Brian returned. "Melia and I were his favorites."

Matt walked in, followed by Johnny. Johnny squeezed onto the sofa with Kristy and Sara.

"Oh no!" Matt cried, spotting the marshmallow pile on the table. "The Haner siblings have struck again!"

"I thwarted their plan," Jeanie told him.

Matt feigned hopefulness. "You mean...the marshmallows have been saved?"

"Yes," Jeanie confirmed, giggling.

Matt threw his arms around her. "Our hero! As mayor of the marshmallow people, I would like to give you the key to the city."

Everyone laughed. I laid my head on Brian's shoulder and he put an arm around me. This was how things were supposed to be. The mood was light and happy. Everyone was getting along and having fun.

I should've known it wouldn't last.

We reached the venue nearly an hour later. Mickie, Kristy, Sara, Jeanie, Brian, Matt, and I all walked inside while Johnny went to get Jimmy, Zacky, and Shads out of bed. Our spirits were still high and we continued to talk and laugh until the rest of the band came in. Brian joined his bandmates on the stage to set up for rehearsal. Mickie, Kristy, Sara, Jeanie, Matt, and I sat at the very back of the main room, farthest from the stage. Sara was in the middle of recounting a highly amusing story about the first time she saw Avenged Sevenfold in concert when it happened.

"Zacky, what the hell was that!?" Shads exploded, stopping the rehearsal before they'd even made it through one song. "Did you just decide to be tone deaf today?"

Mickie, Kristy, Sara, Jeanie, Matt, and I fell silent.

"Would you fucking chill?" Zacky yelled. "It was a mistake! You know, those things that you make all the goddamn time!"

Shads bristled. "I don't make near as many mistakes as you do. You screw up every fucking time you walk out onstage. Sometimes I wonder why we even keep you around."

"Shads, you seriously need to calm down," Zacky said. "Damn. I'm not getting laid, either, but I'm not being a total asshole."

"You would be if Melia was getting all up on your cock and turning you on then telling you no when you try to take her up on it!" Shads blurted.

Brian's eyes darkened with rage. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Johnny caught one of Brian's arms in an attempt to hold him back. Jimmy rushed over and gripped Brian's other arm.

"Stop!" I shouted, running to the stage with Jeanie and Matt.

Jeanie went straight to Brian and began trying to calm him down. Matt went over to his brother and said something softly.

"Stay out of this!" Shads ordered, pointing at me.

"Fuck you!" I shot back. "Why don't you tell Zacky what really happened?"

Shads glared at me but said nothing.

"Fine. I will." I faced Zacky. "The only time I was 'all up on' Shadsy's cock was when we danced together. I admit I shouldn't have danced with him that way, but I thought it was innocent because he always swears that he views me as his little sister. He was the one who changed the rules and decided to take it too far. He was the one who got pissed off because I rejected him."

I was literally trembling with hurt and anger. My eyes burned with tears. Zacky seemed about to speak, but I looked away and focused on Shads. "I'm not interested in you. Quit taking your wounded male pride out on your bandmates. Get over it and do your fucking job."

I stormed past them into the backstage area, heading down the corridor that led to the back exit. I froze less than a foot from the door, sensing someone behind me. I turned around. Zacky was standing at the far end of the corridor.

Our eyes met. I silently willed him to come closer or to say something, anything. However, he didn't do either of these things. We stared at each other in silence until we heard Jimmy call Zacky's name. Zacky dropped his gaze and I ran out of the venue.

Only once I was back on the tour bus did I realize that hot tears were streaming down my cheeks.

*****

I'd never considered that life on the bus could get worse, but I soon found out that it could. Amazingly enough, one person was causing most of the tension--Shadsy.

Jimmy had quit acting like an ass, despite the fact that he still wasn't getting laid. He obviously didn't want Kristy to think he was anything like Shadsy.

Matt, Brian, and Jeanie were completely ignoring Shadsy, who was pretending I didn't exist. I had reverted to giving Zacky the silent treatment. None of these things helped the atmosphere on the bus. However, these things were nothing compared to Shadsy's behavior.

Shadsy stalked around like a pissed off hornet, always ready to attack. He snarled at the others for EVERYTHING, and he would've been bitchy with me if he'd been acknowledging my existence. One day, he jumped on Sara's case for simply looking at him. I honestly thought Matt was going to hit him. Sara wasn't Matt's girlfriend yet, but it was only a matter of time.

Shadsy's bad mood persisted through October. We were in Atlanta, Georgia, on Halloween. Everyone except Shadsy and me dressed up and went to a costume party held at one of the nightclubs. Shadsy went to a bar with the intention of drinking himself into a stupor. I stayed at the hotel and watched movies. I was tired of being around all the happy couples and tired of the awkwardness between Zacky and myself. That one night away from all of them helped immensely.

I wasn't so lucky on Johnny's birthday. November 18th found us in Orlando, Florida, with two days off. I needed another break from everyone, but Johnny pouted and I couldn't say no. So that night, I sadly changed out of my pajamas into some real clothes and rode to a strip club with the other girls.

Brian, Zacky, Matt, Johnny, and Jimmy were already there. Each of them had a drink and there were plenty of extras on their table.

"Planning to get wasted?" I drawled sarcastically.

Johnny grinned. "Of course! But actually, those are for you ladies and...him."

My brow furrowed in confusion. Him? Who the hell was him?

"Ah, Melia," came a pleasant male voice. "We meet again."

I turned around. David Draiman was standing behind me.

"Hi," I said.

"Are you staying with us this time?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

A small smile curved his lips. "Good."

Mickie, Sara, Kristy, Jeanie, David, and I crammed into the booth with the others.

"Is Shads coming?" Mickie questioned a bit hesitantly.

Johnny shrugged. "I don't know, and I don't really care." He pushed one of the drinks to me. "Now, drink up, Baby Gates!"

I arched an eyebrow. "You do remember how old I am, right?"

"Yes," Johnny said. "But if you keep your mouth shut, no one has to know about that."

I looked at Brian. "Go ahead," he urged. "Have fun."

I picked up the shot of Jack and downed it in one gulp, thinking how much easier the last two months would've been if I'd been able to drink.

*****

Two hours later, three of the strippers were dancing for Kristy and Mickie, who were throwing money at them. Johnny and Jimmy looked like all their wet dreams had come true. Matt and Sara had moved to a booth in the corner and were talking. Brian, Jeanie, David, and I were also having a conversation. Zacky was sitting with us, sipping a beer and not speaking. Shadsy had never shown up.

I was feeling pretty good at this point. The alcohol was making me feel all fuzzy and numb. For the first time in two months, I was totally unconcerned with the drama surrounding all of us. David was flirthing with me and I reciprocated. His attention made me feel sexy and wanted, and I needed that more than he'd ever know. Brian seemed a little uncomfortable with the way David and I were interacting at first, but it didn't take him long to realize we were just having fun. I was much too young for David and besides, I liked someone else (though Brian didn't know that).

I didn't know what time it was when we left; I just knew that I couldn't walk on my own. Jeanie and Kristy helped me out to the car and at the hotel, they helped me to the room that Kristy, Mickie, and I were supposed to be sharing. Mickie wasn't there. She had gone to Johnny's room with him. This forced Jimmy to stay with Zacky, who had gotten his own room so that Matt and Sara could be alone.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," I mumbled.

Jeanie and Kristy managed to get me to the bathroom before I vomited. Kristy held my hair back while Jeanie wet a washcloth and wiped my face.

"Do you want to take a bath?" Jeanie queried once my stomach finally settled.

I nodded. Hot baths always made me feel better.

Jeanie glanced at Kristy. "Sweetie, you look exhausted. Go to bed. I'll take care of Melia."

"Okay," Kristy agreed. "Goodnight." She left the bathroom.

Jeanie began filling the bathtub with water. I watched her, thinking about times she'd taken care of me in the past. She was going to make a great mother someday.

When the tub was full, I stripped and got in. The warm water felt wonderful and I sank into it gratefully. "Jeanie?" I said.

"Hmm?" she mumbled. She was standing at the sink, leaning close to the mirror as she used an extra washcloth to remove her makeup.

"Have you ever convinced yourself that you're mad at someone for something, then realized that you're actually mad at them because you like them and you're afraid they'll reject you?" I inquired, not looking at her.

"Are you kidding?" She laughed. "Doll, I was pissed off at your brother for six months before we hooked up. It was easier to be angry than to admit how I felt and risk him laughing in my face. I was mad at him for the most stupid thing--" she broke off.

I looked up at her sudden silence. She was staring at me. "Melia, is this about Shads?"

"No!" I cried.

She narrowed her eyes. "Melia--"

"I swear, it's not about Shads!" I cut in.

She studied my face for several seconds before deciding to believe me. She resumed scrubbing off her makeup.

"It's about Zacky," I murmured.

She paused. She didn't look surprised. "That's why you've been giving him the silent treatment?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Has Bri noticed that I'm not speaking to Zacky?"

"No," she assured me. "He's too busy being angry at Shads."

"Good," I said, relieved. "You won't tell anyone how I feel about Zacky, will you? I've worked hard to hide it because I know it'll never happen."

"Your secret is safe with me," Jeanie promised.

I finished my bath and put on my pajamas. Jeanie and I crawled into bed, both falling asleep almost instantly.