A Little Piece of Heaven

~~~~ Dec. 22nd. 2009 ~~~~

~~~~ 10 am ~~~~

I stood in front of my car and just stared up at the hospital. Kaydence bounded over to Brian and grabbed his hand in both of hers. She was an instant ball of energy and I loved it.

Anway.

Brian clamped me on the shoulder and we headed off for the entrance before Braiden yelled for us to stop. She ran back to the car and came back a minute later carrying a stuffed elephant.

We both just looked at her.

“What Auntie Kaydence can’t bring her godson his first gift from her?”

“Auntie Kaydence?”

“Godson?”

“Do you want to see Jimmy’s son or not?”

“Onward!”

We headed off for the hospital entrance. Brian standing next to me with Kaydence latched onto his arm and skipping every couple steps.

We entered the hospital and walked up to the nurse’s station.

“Hi…um…I’m Ji…James Owen Sullivan. I’m here to pick up my son”

“Ah yes Mr. Sullivan hold on, one moment”

The head nurse made a couple calls and directed us to take a seat.

“The lawyer and parents will be here soon”

“I can’t even see him right now?”

“I’m sorry it’s legal procedures”

“Ugh fine”

I went over and sat down in the waiting room with Brian and Kaydence next to me.

About a half hour later the lawyer and Alison’s parents showed up.

Once they were here we headed on down to the neonatal unit.

Once there they let Brian, Kaydence, Alison’s parents, and me into a private room. The lawyer went to get my son.

“Oh my God…I...I’m about to meet my son”

“Yeah we know you are Jimmy”

“This is so exciting”

Everyone in the room looked over at Kaydence who was bouncing up and down on her feet holding the stuffed animal in her hands.

“Calm down Kay”

“Is she okay?”

“She had a little too much caffeine this morning”

“Will she be safe around our daughter’s son?”

I felt a flare of anger rise up in me.

“It’s my son too”

“Oh I’m…I’m sorry James…”

“Yeah. It’s my son too. Just because I didn’t know about him until recently doesn’t mean I don’t already love him”

“I’m….I’m really sorry James”

“Jimmy calm down”

“Yeah calm down Jimmy, everything’s gonna be okay”

“I…I’m sorry. I’m just…nervous about seeing him”

“It’s only natural”

Suddenly the door opened and in walked the lawyer closely followed by a nurse carrying a little bundle. In that bundle…was my son.

“James Owen Sullivan. I’d like you to meet your son”

I just stared in shock at that little bundle that the nurse was holding. Brian pushed me forward with one hand while holding Kaydence back with the other hand.

“Go ahead Jimmy”

I slowly walked forward and towards the nurse, holding my son.

The nurse smiled up at me and held out her arms. She held out my son toward me.

“Congratulations you have a son Mr. Sullivan”

I managed a small smile before I held out my arms tentatively. The nurse carefully put my son into my arms and for the first time I looked down at my son.

There he was just lying there asleep in my arms. He was wrapped up in a blue blanket and his little tiny fists were showing. He had a small amount of dark brown hair on top of his head. I just stood there holding him, barely holding him. I was so afraid to move, so afraid to move my arms. I just couldn’t believe that this was my son. That I had created this little bundle of joy. That I had created a little boy, that this was my son, a living breathing part of me.

“It’s okay just relax he’ll be fine”

I just looked up at the nurse and then back down at my son. My mind was racing and I…I…

“OMG! HE JUST OPENED HIS EYES! HE’S LOOKING AT ME!”

“Jimbo calm down”

“He has my eyes. Omg he’s looking at me. My son’s looking at me. Look at his eyes”

My son was staring up at me looking into my own eyes with an almost curious expression on his face. He started to open his mouth and the first thought in my mind was: Oh my God I’m making him cry!

But all he did was give this little itty bitty yawn and turn closer to me.

And that was it…I was hooked.

I instantly held him closer to me and started to slowly rock him.

“My son…you’re really my son….I love you”

My son took one final look at me and fell asleep.

“Can I hold him now?”

If I wasn’t holding my son I would have jumped a foot in the air. Kaydence was peering at me around my arm and staring at me with the most cheesiesh grin on her face.

“Kaydence calm down”

“Please”

“No my son”

“Jimmy!”

“Jimmy if she doesn’t hold him soon she’s going to start boucing all over the walls”

“Oh crap you’re right. Here Kaydence but be careful!”

Kaydence took my son from me carefully and held him in her arms.

“Hi there my little godson. Your daddy is amazing, you’re in great hands. And look what Auntie Kay got for you. A stuffed elephant! The first of many toys for the first Avenged baby.”

“That’s so sweet of you to already bring him something”

“It’s Kaydence. She’s going to spoil him rotten”

“Oh is she your girlfriend James?”

“Heck no She’s Brian’s. I couldn’t handle this hyper girl”

“Oh….”

“Don’t worry I’m his best friend, Brian’s girlfriend. The rest of the guys and their girls are waiting back home in California for this little guy’s return. He’s going to be so loved.”

“Okay”

“Don’t worry. You can see him anytime you want. I’ll fly you out to see him if you want. I’ll even bring him to come see you guys. Anything you want.”

“Thank-you James. That means a lot to us”

“It’s what Allie would have wanted”

“It is.”

I turned toward Kaydence to see her walking over to where Brian was standing.

“Look at your godson Brian. Isn’t he gorgeous?”

Brian started to shift around nervously.

“Yeah…he’s gorgeous”

“Can Brian hold him Jimmy?”

“Nah I’m good.”

Kaydence looked up at Brian curiously then turned and walked back to me handing me back my son and his new stuffed animal. She motioned for Brian to follow her and they both left the room.

“If they’re going to find somewhere to do it I’m gonna kill them”

“Excuse me?”

“Um…nothing”

We finished going through all of the necessary papers. We were all ready to leave the hospital with my son. Only one problem.

“Where are Brian and Kaydence?”

“I don’t know I haven’t seen them”

I handed my son back to his grandmother and pulled out my phone hitting speed dial.

“Hello”

“Brian where are you?”

“I’m with Kaydence, we’re in the waiting room”

“Oh okay. Hey can you go out to the car and get my son’s car seat?”

“Yeah sure”

“Thanks man”

A few minutes later Brian came back in carrying my son’s car seat. Kaydence was right behind him looking irritated.

Uh oh…fight

Allison’s mom showed me how to place my son into the car seat and we headed off to my car.

Kaydence was walking on one side of me and Brian was on the other. We reached my car and Allison’s mom helped me lock it in. I told Brian to drive while I sat in the back next to my son. Kaydence sat in the front passenger seat with her arms crossed ignoring Brian’s attempts to talk to her.

“Okay whatever is going on between you two you need to settle it or we’re in for one long ass awkward ride back to California.”

“Brian doesn’t want to hold your son”

“Brian?”

“I…I don’t hold babies”

“Brian….”

“What I don’t and…babies don’t like me”

“Brian Elwin Haner Jr. you have held babies before”

“I….I DON’T WANT TO DROP HIM OKAY!”

“What?”

“I…I don’t want to drop him. I…I’m scared to hold Jimmy’s son, because he’s so small and I don’t want to drop him”

“You won’t drop him hun”

“How do you know that?”

“You haven’t dropped me”

“You’re bigger than a baby”

“Well…hold him sitting down. That way you’ll be good to go”

“I don’t know Kay”

“It’s a good idea Bri”

“I don’t know”

“Brian…”

“Drop it Kay”

“Bri”

“Drop it Jimmy”

I just held my hands up and continued to watch my son sleep. He just looked so peaceful.

We followed Allison’s parents back to their house where everyone was waiting with gifts for him. Everyone was badgering me on what his name was going to be. But I just honestly hadn’t given much thought about what to name him.

Allison’s mom showed me how to burp, feed, and change his diapers. I admit it was amusing having Brian and Kaydence there watching me. Kaydence grabbed my son to hold whenever she could. But Brian was still refusing to hold him.

We stayed at Allison’s parent’s house for the night. Before this night I never realized how much I enjoyed my sleep. I swear he was awake every hour and I was dragged up to help Allison’s mom take care of him. I swear he just wouldn’t stay asleep.

So by the morning I was completely exhausted and falling asleep at the breakfast table while Kaydence walked around feeding my son his bottle.

Brian came downstairs around 10am and immediately went in the opposite direction as Kaydence. He was still avoiding holding my son. I think there was a secret reason behind not wanting to hold my son but I was too tired to figure it out.

“We should get going soon Jimmy”

“Yeah I know let me go put out stuff into the car”

“Oh God you suck at packing. BRIAN!”

Brian poked his head into the room.

“What?”

“You need to hold lil Rev here while I help Jimmy pack up the car”

“Kaydence”

“Brian Elwin Haner Jr. sit down on the couch and hold your best friend’s son”

“I…”

“Brian just do it”

“FINE!”

Brian mumbled the entire way to the couch and sat down. Kaydence put my son into his arms and made sure he was holding him correctly before Kaydence and I went and packed up my car with all of our crap and my son’s.

When we came back in Brian was sitting on the couch looking a little unsure about holding my son.

“Here Brian I’ll take my son now”

“Oh Thank God”

Brian stood up carefully and made his way over to me walking like he was carrying a glass bowl filled to the brim with water.

I met him halfway taking my son into my arms. My son stirred in my arms, yawned, and waved one of his tiny fists at me.

“You ready to go home buddy?”

My son just waved his fist again at me and opened his eyes for a second before shutting them again.

“Let’s go home…my son”

“You should really name him”

“Yeah I really should. First thing once we get back to California”

“Well let’s hit the road. Everyone’s waiting back at your place for the arrival of lil Rev.”

“That’s an adorable nickname”

“Yeah..it is…well what do you say lil me…ready to go home?”

He opened his eyes again and looked at me and just waved his little fists.

“I take that as a yes”