The Little Things Give You Away

I was woken up by my alarm clock at half four. At first I just ignored the irritating buzzing and did my best to fall back into sleep, but when there’s a constant noise going off right next to your head, it becomes pretty hard to just ignore it.

I groaned as I leaned over and started searching for the off button on the clock, making my job more difficult by refusing to open my eyes. Stupid thing. Why does it always wake me up? Okay, so maybe that is what it’s designed to do, but why do I have to get up so early? Seriously; half four in the bloody morning, that’s just ridiculous!

When I eventually managed to switch the alarm off, I decided that I might as well just get up. I slowly lifted the covers of me, wanting to stay in the warm for as long as possible. I hate cold days. Cold mornings are even worse though. The hardest part is just getting out of bed and changing into something that’ll keep me warm.

Slowly I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, rubbing my eyes a little to try and force them into opening properly. This is only my seconds really early morning in months, so I'm still not quite used to it.

After a while I switched on the lamp I have on my bedside table. The sudden light took a little while to get used to, even though it was pretty dim in comparison to how bright it would be if I turned the big light on.

Stupid Tuesdays. Tuesday, for me, is a day that I just have to hate. Monday is bad, yeah, but it has some purpose I guess. However Tuesday, is basically a repeat of Monday, which is one of the last things that I want really.

I grabbed some jogging bottoms and a pair of socks that I usually use for football. I then picked up a random shirt that I found dumped on my bedroom floor, it looked clean enough, and a jacket.

As soon as I was changed I headed downstairs and checked what the outside temperature was: Minus five degrees Celsius. Lovely.

Dad hates it when I go out in the cold weather, but I know that if I'm still here when he gets up he’ll be even more annoyed with me, so it doesn’t look like I have much choice. Wrap up warm and keep moving so I don’t freeze to death; that’s the plan.

I put on some gloves, a scarf and a hat, which would hopefully be enough to keep me warm on my run.

As I usually do, I headed down towards Riley’s house. That route tends to be the hardest to go on though, seeing as there tends to be a lot of rough people hanging out around there, even at this time of morning. It’s also downhill, which usually isn't a problem, but when there’s below freezing temperatures and a lot of ice on the ground, a hill isn't really the best thing to run down. I'm willing to risk that for the chance of seeing him though. I'm not too sure why.

My pace slowed as I passed by his house. I could hear shouting coming from inside. It unnerved me. Why would they be arguing? It’s pretty early still so they shouldn’t have something to argue about already.

Without knowing it, I’d completely stopped moving and was just standing in front of the house, looking in through the only window that didn't have the curtains closed. It was a downstairs one, and they clearly weren’t in there, but I still couldn’t help staring. Strange...

After a while I saw Riley’s mum walk past the window. She was only wearing a short dressing gown and it wasn't doing very well at covering much up. Most people I know would be taking pictures right now; Riley’s mum is, well, she’s pretty attractive for a mum if you know what I mean. But I’ve never thought of her as anything other than his mum, even seeing her like this doesn’t change that.

Riley doesn’t talk about her much; he’s only really mentioned that he wishes he could’ve stayed with his dad. The only reason I’ve managed to get to know her a bit is because she was always at home before they moved to this place. Whenever I visited, we’d sometimes have these really deep conversations, they didn't happen very often and when they did either Riley or his dad would get angry with one of us. She always seemed to have something else on her mind. I sometimes wondered what, but I never dared to ask. It isn't my place to interfere.

I quickly turned away when she came back into the room looked out, seeing me looking in at her. Great. I bet she thinks I was ‘admiring the view’ now. That’s all I need, if she tells Ry he probably won’t talk to me for the rest of the day. If there’s one line you don’t cross with him; it’s messing with his family, or simply mentioning them really.

After what felt like minutes, but what was most likely only a few seconds, I looked back into the window, seeing her standing there with her hands rested on her hips. She pouted her lips at me before walking away again.

I let out a quick sigh of relief. Awkward.

I was about to head back up towards mine when I heard someone shouting me.

“Like what you saw, ay?”

There wasn't any need to turn to work out who was talking to me, but I decided to anyway. She had a teasing look on her face so I knew she wasn't taking this too seriously. It’s not like there’s any need to either, I was just innocently looking through the window...then she walked past in barely anything and I happened to be looking. It was all a complete accident. A misunderstanding.

“It wasn't what it looked like,” I told her, walking towards the gate at the bottom of the pathway to their house.

“I should think not,” she responded and then let out a sigh. “Want to pop in for a bit?” she asked me. “It’s been way too long since I saw your face,” she laughed slightly.

“I guess I could come in for a bit,” I told her, not particularly needed to be back at home yet.

If I went back now, dad would accuse me of not doing enough, seeing as I’ve barely been gone forty minutes yet.

“Do you want anything to drink, eat?” she asked me as we sat down in the living room.

“A drink would be good,” I smiled.

“Want something cold?” she asked. She already knew my answer though. After running, no matter what the temperature was, I’d always head into Riley’s and have a random cold drink. That’s how it used to be. Me and him would muck about for hours and then just go back to his and chill for a bit.

“You remembered,” I laughed. “Yeah, a cold one’s fine.”

While I waited for her to come back into the living room, I started looking around a little. You know with some houses, you can tell that they haven’t been well looked after? This is one of them. The ceiling was damp and the wall paper and carpets were stained. Compared to their old house, this place looks like a complete dump. I don’t get how they can go from where they were to, well, here.

What she walked back in with kind of surprised me, but I didn't question it. No one else really needs to know about this, so I don’t see how it could be a problem.

She handed me over a can of beer and smiled as I willingly took it from her.

“I figured now you're a bit older you might like your drinks a little stronger.”

I nodded my head at her and took a sip out of it. I'm not the sort of person who drinks a lot, I can’t do it really. It’s not a great mix with all the sports I've got to do, and dad would kill me if he knew I ever drank. He doesn’t need to know about this though. Ha, it can be our little secret.

I was just about to ask where Riley was when I thought about something. Maybe I shouldn’t ask that just yet. She might tell me a bit more about what happened with the whole moving and the divorce. Sure she might find it rude if I ask, but I'm curious and I doubt Ry’s going to tell me anything about it.

“What happened?” I asked her casually.

“Wh-”

“I mean, how did you end up living in a place like this?” I asked, before she could ask me her question.

She looked at me like I was out of my mind for a moment, but then seemed to decide that she could talk to me.

“Things just...they weren’t working out,” she sighed. “A lot of boring adult stuff happened that you don’t really need to know about happened and yeah, I somehow ended up broke and with no better options.”

“Riley mentioned the divorce,” I said quietly. “I'm guessing he was a lot better off in the arrangement.”

I probably sounded a bit cheeky then, but anyone could see that Riley’s dad was by far the head of the house. He always got his way and wasn't likely to let anyone or thing change that.

“Well, you know what me and John were like, there was no chance we’d make it last was there?” I simply nodded, not really knowing what else to say. “And I don’t mind him getting everything,” she whispered, clearly not meaning her words.

“Everything?” I asked.

“It was...Well, it was more me than him to blame for our marriage...not working,” she sighed, looking like she wanted to explain it all to me, but was stopping herself from doing it. “I’ll manage without all the money,” she added with a smile. “I’ve got a well paid job now so I’ll be on my feet again.”

“Good,” I whispered, looking down into my hands.

I was starting to feel kind of nervous and I could tell Ry’s mum could notice however, this only made me feel even more uncomfortable.

“You alright love?” she asked me.

I nodded my head weakly at her, not feeling able to speck now for whatever reason.

There was an awkward silence between us for a few minutes before I finally asked,

“Do you know how Riley’s been doing?” I paused for a second and then continued specking when she didn't say anything. “I mean this must be pretty hard for him, not seeing his dad anymore, the new house, new school,” I sighed.

Riley would hate it if he knew I’d been checking up on him like this, but I just want to know that everything’s okay for him. He’s not the sort of guy who easily opens up about things, so I'm hoping that his mum will know a little more than what I do.

“He’s coping,” she whispered after a while. “He doesn’t deserve all this,” she sighed.

“It’s not your fault,” I told her upon seeing the distressed look on her face. “It’s not like you could’ve done anything differently for him.”

She nodded her head at me, but the look on her face said that she didn't fully agree with me.

“I’d better be going,” I said, standing up and starting to head out of the room as I was feeling the tense atmosphere enclosing me.

“No,” she said, almost in a begging voice as she stood up grabbed hold of my arm.

My eyes widened at her action.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Can’t you stay a bit longer though?” she asked, her voice sounding desperate.

I wasn't sure if it would be a very good idea to stay here any longer, but the desperation that I sensed from her was enough to make me go against my better judgment.

“Is Riley about?” I asked.

She pulled the door shut that separated the living room to the hallway, meaning that we were now shut away in here.

“Strange that you’ve only just mentioned him,” she said in an almost seductive sounding voice.

I backed away from her a little.

“You’ve been here for,” she paused to look at the clock on the mantelpiece, “half an hour and not wanted to go and see him at all.”

She did sort of have a point there, but the only reason I didn't go to see him was because I wanted to understand more about what was going on in his life at the minute. Don’t ask me why I wanted to know that, I just did.

“Got an explanation, Matt?” she asked as she brought her hands to the scarf around my neck and slowly started to remove it.

I stared at her, not saying anything.

This is Riley’s mum. What the hell is happening?

“I r-really should go now,” I said, stuttering from how uncomfortable this moment was becoming for me.

I tried to walk past her but she got in my way and I knew that if I tried to push past her I’d end up hurting her, which I didn't want to happen.

“No you don’t,” she whispered as she pushed me back so that I landed on the sofa.

“What...what are you doing?” I asked her as straddled me on the chair and brought her body closer and closer to me.

How did we get in this position? What’s wrong with her?

She was bringing her lips towards mine when I worked out that sometimes to get out of a situation, you do have to risk hurting them. I pushed her back, possibly harder than I should’ve and she fell off me and the chair and landed on the floor.

She glared up and me as I stood onto my feet, trying to act like nothing was happening.

I shook my head at her as I walked out of the room, only to be met by Riley who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

I could feel my cheeks heating up when I saw him. I seriously hope he doesn’t know what almost happened back there. He’d hate me. I have no idea how bad he’d take the thought of me and his mum... That’s just sick.