Innocence Dies
saviour
Caleb chooses to keep to himself, the emotions that bubble inside of him, if released, could make a lot of people unhappy. But keeping in his feelings meant he was caving into himself; over time he chose not to speak to anyone, afraid of what everyone might think. Will they think I’m funny? Will they think I’m cute? Will they hate me? Those words would echo in his head each time he was introduced to some new, whether it was a new student in school, a doctor or just a casual stranger walking their dog. It haunted him. It poisoned him. And that is why Caleb McKay prefers keeping his mouth closed.
____________
Caleb glared at the two pieces of stale bread lying in front of him and the glass of milk which was beginning to turn a shade of yellow. Even the plate looked as though it hadn’t been touched by soap, cracks around the edges and a fading china pattern.
“What’s the matter with you?” Caleb hadn’t expected the voice, he flinched, almost knocking the plate straight off the table. “Watch it!” His mother cried, “that’s one of our most expensive china.” Inside his head, Caleb was laughing. “I’m not hungry,” he mumbled, pushing the plate away from him. His mother said nothing, she pretended to ignore him and walked into the hall to get the mail that arrived earlier that day. “
She isn’t going to care if you just left it, Caleb repeated in his head, just get your bag and walk to school. You have enough money to buy a chocolate bar on the way down. And if you don’t, you mum’s purse is just sitting on the stairs. This was when Caleb’s head was full of voices - voices telling him what to do and what not to do. Trying to live his life. The only thing that stopped the continuous echoes was to cover his ears with his hands and groan. And so he did.
“Caleb, what in God’s name are you doing?” But Caleb couldn’t hear her. “Caleb? For fuck‘s sake, answer me!” And that was when she hit him.
____________
The towering snow that had been building up over the past couple of weeks was beginning to melt and disappear; the orange sun was casting a warm glow over Little Weston. Caleb purposely took small steps to school, he wanted to soak in all of the warmth because he knew that, by tomorrow, a grey cover of gloom would be over the town once again.
His scarf was unravelled on his bed, his Wellington boots were dripping at the front door and there was no need for him to roll up his jeans. This was what Caleb wanted everyday, however, he was stuck here until he was old enough to grab his own place.
The little corner shop was just coming into view, but Caleb was too occupied running out of the house, tears spilling of his face, to even remember his pocket money. Nevertheless, he pressed his face up against the window and let his mouth drool as he noticed chocolate bars and pastries stacked on top of each other. His breath was beginning to fog up the glass, and soon enough his vision was obscured and he continued dragging himself to school.
Little Weston High School wasn’t a large school. It didn’t need to be. In a small town like Little Weston, schools needn’t hold more than 500 students. Having such a small number of teenagers in a school meant that there were less people to be friends with, or at least, that’s what Caleb told himself. ‘If there were more people here,’ he told the guidance counselor, ‘then I would have more people to be friendly with.’ Mr. Goldberg hadn’t believe a word that came out of Caleb’s mouth, but he went along with it. His mind numb with worries and insecurities, Caleb opened the front doors and stepped inside.
____________
The school bell rang throughout the halls monotonously, announcing the end of another school day. Caleb had been lucky today, he had told himself continuously not to look at anyone in the eye and only to concentrate on himself - and so he did. He couldn’t have called a productive day, but it certainly was a change. His last period had been P.E., one of the subjects that Caleb was not so satisfactory at. Most of the kids in his class had grown up playing football together or were a part of the jogging club at school.
Today’s lesson had been swimming, something Caleb hadn’t tried in a long time. However, it was just the basics for today: how to perfect the standard swimming movements. Caleb was drying himself by the poolside after everyone had left, he felt awkward doing this in front of a crowd of boys. After he had dried himself off, the walked over to the changing rooms were his clothes would be waiting in his locker, but a sudden shuffle of feet made him freeze.
“Hello?” He had meant for his voice to be louder, but it came out as more of a whimper. “Is anyone there?” Again, his croaky voice, even if someone was covered behind the lockers, wasn’t loud enough for anyone to respond to. Caleb had watched everyone leave the pool, they had cleaned themselves off, put on their clothes, and were heading home. But, clearly, Caleb had missed someone.
Caleb took one small, shaky, foot forward and cocked his head to one side as he noticed that something - the shadow of someone attempting to cover themselves behind one of the pillars. “I-I can see you,” his voice was even more unstable. Inside he wanted to run out of the hall, burst through the doors, and run all the way home. But his clothes were stuffed inside his locker, and his locker was situated at the far end of the hall. “For God’s sake, just come out!” Caleb slapped his palm against his mouth, his stomach had been twisting and turning so much and his brain was out of control that he wasn’t thinking about his voice anymore.
At that moment, the possessor of the shadow stepped forward and showed his face. “Jared…”
“Hey, Caleb, surprised to see me?” Caleb opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Jared scoffed, “I was surprised when I saw you come into school today, me and Kyle thought - well, hoped - that you wouldn’t be coming back.” Jared, little by little, took steps towards Caleb. “Maybe you don’t understand that we hate you. We, and plenty of other people, don’t need you in our lives. So it’s time for me to erase you,” he was now pressed up against Caleb, “from our lives.”
Caleb backed away, the door was on the other side of the hall, it would mean running around the pool to escape. Caleb didn’t have the speed or stamina to get past Jared - so he tried to fight back. He swung his right hand forward and hit Jared directly on to the nose, he wasn’t strong enough to break anything or even stall Jared for a huge amount of time. “You son of a bitch,” Jared cried, his hands covering his nose; it was bleeding heavily and dripping onto the cold floor. “I’m going to kill you!”
Jared leapt into the air, baring his teeth and his hands clenched tight into fists, and collided with Caleb. Caleb collapsed under the weight of Jared, and the two boys slipped off the edge of the floor and fell into the depths of the pool. Caleb had no time to react; his mouth suddenly filled with water and almost immediately his lungs began to burn. His eyes were shut tight, Jared could have been anywhere and he wouldn’t have cared - right now, Caleb’s only worry was staying alive. He flailed his arms, trying to swim upwards and to break the surface, but he was getting nowhere. After what seemed like a lifetime under the water, and when Caleb was on the edge of giving up and letting himself slip away from reality, something took a firm hold of his shoulder and was dragging him towards the surface.
It was though all of the fear and panic had washed off of him, he would be able to take in a breath of air and everything would be fine. But then he remembered: he and Jared had been the only two people in that hall, all of the pupils were at home and all of the teachers would be busy with other things. Jared wasn’t saving him, he wanted to get rid of Caleb himself.
However, when his limp body was dragged out of the water and was laid out on solid ground, the person that was looking down on him was not Jared. In fact, it wasn’t even a boy at all. Caleb had seen this face before, but only briefly, he tried racking his numb brain but his body refused to function. It seemed to Caleb that the ground beneath him was being pulled away and the world in front of him was slowly disappearing. Someone, help me…
____________
Caleb glared at the two pieces of stale bread lying in front of him and the glass of milk which was beginning to turn a shade of yellow. Even the plate looked as though it hadn’t been touched by soap, cracks around the edges and a fading china pattern.
“What’s the matter with you?” Caleb hadn’t expected the voice, he flinched, almost knocking the plate straight off the table. “Watch it!” His mother cried, “that’s one of our most expensive china.” Inside his head, Caleb was laughing. “I’m not hungry,” he mumbled, pushing the plate away from him. His mother said nothing, she pretended to ignore him and walked into the hall to get the mail that arrived earlier that day. “
She isn’t going to care if you just left it, Caleb repeated in his head, just get your bag and walk to school. You have enough money to buy a chocolate bar on the way down. And if you don’t, you mum’s purse is just sitting on the stairs. This was when Caleb’s head was full of voices - voices telling him what to do and what not to do. Trying to live his life. The only thing that stopped the continuous echoes was to cover his ears with his hands and groan. And so he did.
“Caleb, what in God’s name are you doing?” But Caleb couldn’t hear her. “Caleb? For fuck‘s sake, answer me!” And that was when she hit him.
____________
The towering snow that had been building up over the past couple of weeks was beginning to melt and disappear; the orange sun was casting a warm glow over Little Weston. Caleb purposely took small steps to school, he wanted to soak in all of the warmth because he knew that, by tomorrow, a grey cover of gloom would be over the town once again.
His scarf was unravelled on his bed, his Wellington boots were dripping at the front door and there was no need for him to roll up his jeans. This was what Caleb wanted everyday, however, he was stuck here until he was old enough to grab his own place.
The little corner shop was just coming into view, but Caleb was too occupied running out of the house, tears spilling of his face, to even remember his pocket money. Nevertheless, he pressed his face up against the window and let his mouth drool as he noticed chocolate bars and pastries stacked on top of each other. His breath was beginning to fog up the glass, and soon enough his vision was obscured and he continued dragging himself to school.
Little Weston High School wasn’t a large school. It didn’t need to be. In a small town like Little Weston, schools needn’t hold more than 500 students. Having such a small number of teenagers in a school meant that there were less people to be friends with, or at least, that’s what Caleb told himself. ‘If there were more people here,’ he told the guidance counselor, ‘then I would have more people to be friendly with.’ Mr. Goldberg hadn’t believe a word that came out of Caleb’s mouth, but he went along with it. His mind numb with worries and insecurities, Caleb opened the front doors and stepped inside.
____________
The school bell rang throughout the halls monotonously, announcing the end of another school day. Caleb had been lucky today, he had told himself continuously not to look at anyone in the eye and only to concentrate on himself - and so he did. He couldn’t have called a productive day, but it certainly was a change. His last period had been P.E., one of the subjects that Caleb was not so satisfactory at. Most of the kids in his class had grown up playing football together or were a part of the jogging club at school.
Today’s lesson had been swimming, something Caleb hadn’t tried in a long time. However, it was just the basics for today: how to perfect the standard swimming movements. Caleb was drying himself by the poolside after everyone had left, he felt awkward doing this in front of a crowd of boys. After he had dried himself off, the walked over to the changing rooms were his clothes would be waiting in his locker, but a sudden shuffle of feet made him freeze.
“Hello?” He had meant for his voice to be louder, but it came out as more of a whimper. “Is anyone there?” Again, his croaky voice, even if someone was covered behind the lockers, wasn’t loud enough for anyone to respond to. Caleb had watched everyone leave the pool, they had cleaned themselves off, put on their clothes, and were heading home. But, clearly, Caleb had missed someone.
Caleb took one small, shaky, foot forward and cocked his head to one side as he noticed that something - the shadow of someone attempting to cover themselves behind one of the pillars. “I-I can see you,” his voice was even more unstable. Inside he wanted to run out of the hall, burst through the doors, and run all the way home. But his clothes were stuffed inside his locker, and his locker was situated at the far end of the hall. “For God’s sake, just come out!” Caleb slapped his palm against his mouth, his stomach had been twisting and turning so much and his brain was out of control that he wasn’t thinking about his voice anymore.
At that moment, the possessor of the shadow stepped forward and showed his face. “Jared…”
“Hey, Caleb, surprised to see me?” Caleb opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Jared scoffed, “I was surprised when I saw you come into school today, me and Kyle thought - well, hoped - that you wouldn’t be coming back.” Jared, little by little, took steps towards Caleb. “Maybe you don’t understand that we hate you. We, and plenty of other people, don’t need you in our lives. So it’s time for me to erase you,” he was now pressed up against Caleb, “from our lives.”
Caleb backed away, the door was on the other side of the hall, it would mean running around the pool to escape. Caleb didn’t have the speed or stamina to get past Jared - so he tried to fight back. He swung his right hand forward and hit Jared directly on to the nose, he wasn’t strong enough to break anything or even stall Jared for a huge amount of time. “You son of a bitch,” Jared cried, his hands covering his nose; it was bleeding heavily and dripping onto the cold floor. “I’m going to kill you!”
Jared leapt into the air, baring his teeth and his hands clenched tight into fists, and collided with Caleb. Caleb collapsed under the weight of Jared, and the two boys slipped off the edge of the floor and fell into the depths of the pool. Caleb had no time to react; his mouth suddenly filled with water and almost immediately his lungs began to burn. His eyes were shut tight, Jared could have been anywhere and he wouldn’t have cared - right now, Caleb’s only worry was staying alive. He flailed his arms, trying to swim upwards and to break the surface, but he was getting nowhere. After what seemed like a lifetime under the water, and when Caleb was on the edge of giving up and letting himself slip away from reality, something took a firm hold of his shoulder and was dragging him towards the surface.
It was though all of the fear and panic had washed off of him, he would be able to take in a breath of air and everything would be fine. But then he remembered: he and Jared had been the only two people in that hall, all of the pupils were at home and all of the teachers would be busy with other things. Jared wasn’t saving him, he wanted to get rid of Caleb himself.
However, when his limp body was dragged out of the water and was laid out on solid ground, the person that was looking down on him was not Jared. In fact, it wasn’t even a boy at all. Caleb had seen this face before, but only briefly, he tried racking his numb brain but his body refused to function. It seemed to Caleb that the ground beneath him was being pulled away and the world in front of him was slowly disappearing. Someone, help me…
♠ ♠ ♠
I really don't feel certain about this chapter, it has taken me about 3 days to write and I have constantly erased it and written it all out again. There are probably countless mistakes so just point them out to me and I will be able to correct them. Please and thank you:)