Love Is a ***

I was singing the ABC’s under breathe, as I pulled my legs closer to my upper body. I’ve been needing to go really bad since God knows how long, and if I told Ryan. He beat me just for disturbing him. It was torture to sit in the dark alone, and punished from things that you need to live. Ryan was the king lion in the group. I was just another lion to him. Nothing special in his mind.

Ryan would kill just to get his way, and if meant hurting the ones he “loved” damn-it he do it. I remember hearing Ryan saying that he wanted to be a cop when he finished high school, but he must have found something better than hurting bank robbers, and serial killers.

What was it that changed Ryan? I had been there the whole time, and he never used to hurt me. He never punished me for little things that wasn’t his way. No. It wasn’t a punishment. I did nothing wrong, and I had the right to say how I felt, but Ryan didn’t like it. No. He hated how I try to stand over him, and tell him my view in life. If it was possible I would build a time machine, and make sure I NEVER meet him.

I stared down at the little crack under the door, and slammed my fist into the floor. There was no use trying to escape because Ryan had made it so I couldn’t run out.

Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong

“I’m coming!” Ryan yelled.

Ding-dong. Ding-dong.

“Mark! Quit it! I heard the door open.

I heard giggled coming from downstairs, “Ryan, you look red? Have you burned your face?” Mark asked.

“Mark, why are you here?” Ryan asked annoyed.

“Well were going to surprise.” Mark explained.

“Who are you talking about? You and your stupity or you and a mouse in your pocket?” I could see Ryan roll his eyes in annoyance. He had never been fond of Mark, but he never acted like bitch to his face.

“Chartreuse coming in second I think, he’s looking for his nose.” great their high, and in our house. Well I doubt they’ll wonder where I am, because Mark isn’t the brightest person under drugs, and neither is Chartreuse.

“Mark, I found it. It was about to get hit by a car. Some lady yelled at me. I forget what she said, but she gave me some candy.” Chartreuse explained.

“Yes, make yourselves at home in my living room. I perfectly okay with you two coming in and all.” Ryan spoke sarcastically.

“Are you painting your walls? That’s a nice lovely shade of red.” Chartreuse mentioned.

Fuck! I remember getting smashed into a wall, but I never got time to see what I looked like, because Ryan stuck me in a fucking closet. What if they find out? I can’t say whether it was a good or bad thing? Sure I wanted Ryan back in my arms, but I also wanted to be out of his life at the same time.

“You know? Paint brushes help a lot.” Chartreuse said.

“I’m not the one painting it.” Ryan explained.

“Where’s that one dude who hangs out with you, and lives here?” Mark asked, I heard him hiccup, and giggled burst through the room.

“Their dog?” Chartreuse questioned.

“No, Chartreuse. It’s their cat.” Mark replied.

“You’re wrong. It’s their frog.”

“Hell no. It’s their turtle.”

“No. Bird.”

“Would you two shut up about what lives in my house! Only thing that lives her is a fish!” Ryan yelled.

“Mac! That’s it! Right?” Chartreuse asked.

“Don’t you dare say a word about him?” Ryan growled.

I pushed myself away from the door. I really didn’t want to hear anymore. Ryan doesn’t care. When was the last time he did care? Is it how I acted? I’m hundred percent sure it is. Maybe its time for a change. Maybe he’ll love me again like he used to. Maybe this is why I’m in this box for a punishment.

He wants me to change.