Love Is a ***

Ryan pulled the car into the garage, and he gestured me to get out. I carefully unbuckled my seat belt, and opened the door. I closed it behind me, and waited for Ryan to stand in front of me. He finally got out of the car, and walked over to the door, and opened it up, gesturing me to walk in first. I took in a shaky breathe and walked closer to him. He shoved me to the floor, and slammed the door shut.

“What the fuck Mac?! Why do you have to be shut a fuck up? You never tell me what to do. Ever!” a hard kick landed in my stomach, and I could feel acid making its way up.

I gasped for air, and shook my head, “I-I- I’m trying-- to help… you.”

Ryan scoffed, and kicked me hard in the groin. Pain flooded through my body, and my hands covered the area, thinking that wouldn’t hurt so bad if I held them there.

“Why should you help me?! You fucking mess up with everything! What can you do right, besides talk to Mark about shit?!” he kneeled down, and gripped my hair tightly, forcing me to stare into his devil eyes.

“What happen to you?” I whispered.

“What do you mean?” he narrowed his eyes.

I sighed, “You use to hold me… you use to tell me everything would be alright. That you loved me… where is my Ryan?”

Ryan released his grip for a moment and pulled his hand back to his side slowly. He stared down at his feet, ‘Get out of the past.”

“But-- Ryan. You haven’t showed me that you’ve cared about me… in a while. When’s the last time you actually made love with me? When’s the last time you actually kissed me with meaning behind it? When’s the last time you held me and made me feel safe in your arms?”

“Mac… get out of your head!” he hissed.

“Face it Ryan. Something happen, and you never told me. You couldn’t deal with it, so you take it out on me, don’t you? I still love you. I will always love you.”

Ryan let out a growl, and his hand met my jaw. I fell backwards onto the ground, “Do you fucking hear yourself?! You sound like my sister! You know damn well she’s fucking annoying!”

“Look at yourself! You’re a different Ryan. Did the new Ryan kill the old Ryan?” I had to know why my lover was hurting me.

Ryan straddled my hips, and wrapped his hands around my throat, “You want to be in head! Let’s make it happen!” he placed pressure in his hands around my throat.

“R-- yan… I-- can’t…. breathe--” I struggled for intake of fresh air, but he was cutting off my pipes.

He place more pressure around my throat, “I don’t fucking care! Die for all I care!”

I struggled under his gripped, and how he was acting right now, scared me. I was afraid that he was really going to kill me. He was going to kill me. He sounded like he wanted me dead. I could barely breathe, and my chest tighten has my lungs busted into a wildfire.

My vision became blurry, and I felt myself falling into darkness. The more I struggled to stay awake, the more numb I became from lack of air. I decide their was no winning either way, and my eyelids fell, and I could feel my mind enter the dark world.