Incolore Lumière - Colorless Light

Chapter 6
My hands are always cold in the dead night of winter so I usually read to take the focus off my hands, but tonight I am going to learn more about Nathan, my curiosity is gnawing me to the bone. I decided that once dinner was over I was going find out what I could about him no matter what the cost. Our schedules were that we ate breakfast at 8 am and then for dinner we ate at 8 pm. The dinner table was set with my father at the end with Cecil and I sitting on either side of him while Tristan sat next to me. I looked around the room and saw that my father and Tristan were talking about something that had to do with politics. I then turned to look at my sister who was nibbling on some macaroons she noticed my gaze on her and scowled at me. I let out an unnoticeable sigh and turned away to look at the wall and then I notice someone leaning over me filling my glass, before I could look to see who it was he whispered in my ear.

“Breath.” Nathan said is a slow and calm voice. He stepped behind me still holding the pitcher of water. His hair was in his face covering one eye. I closed my eyes and exhaled.
“Now hence forth lets discus about tomorrows masquerade ball.” My father said as if to have all the attention on him. It was getting harder to breath. How could I declare my love for Tristan, whom I did not love when I have love for another..

“The plans for this are that the guests are to be here promptly at 6 in the afternoon and then to complete the traditional dances and the last dance are to be shared by my loving daughter and my soon to be son in law Tristan and for that night…” my father begins to stumble on his words and I tighten my grip on my dress. I turn to Tristan and he narrows his eyes. Tristan was four years older than me. I cannot even determine my own fate. I cannot stay here any longer. “Father I am going to excuse myself I am not feeling well.”

I got up from the table and did look away from everyone’s eyes. I clasped my hands together and calmly walked out of the dining room. Once out, I let out a loud sigh and the picture of Tristan’s face came back to play in my mind.

I walked up the stairs to my room and sat on the cushion next to the window and watched the snow fall. I looked down to see the book I did not yet finish. I started reading because of my mother, when she would finish reading a book she would put the time and date and what she thought of it. When I was little I would read her books as fast as I could just so I could see what she said. It kept me connected to her somehow as if our spirits became one. As I began to read again a soft knock on the door interrupted me.

“Who is there?” I said. I did not want to give permission to the likes of some people Tristan or Cecil to be exact.

“It is me milady.” Emily said in a hushed tone.
“Emily, please come in.” she slowly opens the door and I rush into her arms letting go of everything.

“There, there Colette, it is quite alright.” Emily says as she caresses my hair like every other time I felt pain in my heart.

As the tears begin to dry upon my warmth less skin Emily comforts me a while longer before I drift off into a soundless sleep.
I open my eyes to see that she has already left and that the moon tonight shines brighter that the sun that I’ve come to know.

This could be my chance to make my final move. I get up from my bed and look down the darkened hallway I light a candle and carefully make my way downstairs and stop at my mother’s picture. The picture I look at each and every day. Even though she has a beautiful smile on her face she seems as empty as my heart feels.

I continue to walk down the steps and find my way at the servant corridors door. I push through and try my best to avoid the creaks in the floor boards. I check to see if Emily and Angelia were sound asleep and as I predicted they were. At the end of the hallway was Nathans room. My heart almost beating out of my chest I reach for the doorknob.
“Looking for someone?” a voice which made me turn quickly around and when I did Nathan was standing right before me his melancholy eyes boring into mine.

“I was just…making sure you were alright is all.” My voice stuttering I close my eyes and look away. He must believe I am spying on him.

“I guess since you are alright I will take my leave for the night.” I walk past him and as I do he whispers “Why do you let yourself suffer?” I turn around but he was gone before I could answer.

How would he know I am suffering when I have not even said a word to him? Does he notice my feelings when everyone else cannot?
As I return to my room I get a sick feeling that someone is waiting for me in my room and as I peer through the open door my heart did not deceive me.
Tristan was looking outside my window holding something in his hands and when I saw what it was I nearly died.
“Beautiful picture… whoever has drawn this certainly had your beauty in mind.” His eyes were staring at it as if to stain it with a glass of wine. The picture was of me the day Nathan left behind after I first met him.
“Get out this instant!” my voice shaking as I stepped closer wanted to snatch what Nathan had made away.
To my terror Tristan put the picture up to his lips and kissed it and sniffed it. “Seem like this picture has been well under your care, I found it neatly folded under your pillow you see.” Tristan let out a smirk and I rushed to get the picture.

Before I knew it I was caught in his trap. He grasped my wrist and pulled me close to his chest. “You make this too easy my dear, dear Colette.” He then got really close to my ear; I closed my eyes as tight as I could wait helplessly for what he was going to do next.

“I will make you mine by tomorrow, and by that night your pureness of your soul will become mine for the taking.” He whispered making my heart slow down his breath was so cool upon my neck. After he finished he walked towards the door only stopping before reaching the exit.

“Oh and no matter where you run to or hide I will…find you.” Without turning around he walked out leaving me motionless as though to be a rabbit facing its death at the teeth of the wolf.