‹ Prequel: My 'Cool' Grandpa
My Cool Family
Dinner and Dresses
30th July, 2049
*Mike’s POV*
It was three weeks after I’d told everyone my idea, and we were well on the way to getting it ready. Rosie and Ellie had almost finished altering Adie’s dress and Billie’s tux. Jake had sorted out a caterer and Sarah was making a cake. We were having a lot of trouble finding a minister, as no one wanted to work on Christmas Day.
“Hey, Jakob Armstrong speaking.”
“Hey Jakey, it’s Mike. I checked out that minister you recommended, but he doesn’t want to work on Christmas.”
“Man, that sucks. We’re never going to find someone.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to worry.”
“Wait a second, you’ve known Dad for what, 65 years, and Mom for about 50.”
“Yes…. Your point being?”
“There are these websites on the internet where you can get ordained as a minister. Mom and Dad would love it.”
“My God Jakob. That is a fantastic idea! You’re a genius!”
“Well, I try my best.”
“How’re Joey and Sarah?”
“Yeah, they’re ok, taking it pretty well, they’re at Mom’s house now. I told them about Operation Xmas, and they’re really excited. They think you’re a genius.”
“Well, duh.” I grinned as I looked in the fridge for something to make for dinner. “Oh, hold on, I have another call…. Hello, Mike Dirnt?”
“Hi Mike, it’s Rosie. Ellie and I have just finished Adie’s dress, you wanna come and see it? You can stay over for dinner as well if you like?”
“Sure that’d be lovely Rosie, well done for finishing so soon, now we just have to smuggle it back into the house.”
Rosie laughed. “Yeah, I’ll pop over tomorrow. No, Jimmy, don’t put that in your mouth! Sorry, I have to go, see ya soon. Come over by about five thirty, I’m making chilli con carne.”
“Oo, yum. Bye!”
“Bye!”
I got a glass of water and beeped back into to Jake. “Hey buddy, I’m back.”
“Hey.”
“By the way, Rosie and Ellie have finished the dress, so she should be home soon.”
“Fantastic. Emma’s driving me crazy.”
In the background, I could hear Emma protesting.
“Listen, I better go. I just dropped myself in it.”
“Aw, you know she’ll forgive you anything if you take her shopping.”
“I don’t think she’s quite at the obsessive compulsive shopping age yet…. No wait… she has just corrected me, she is at the obsessive compulsive shopping age. She obviously inherited OCSD from her Mom. Looks like I’m going shopping tomorrow then. Talk to you later, man.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I grabbed my jacket and keys and drove over to Rosie and Jack’s place. I hopped out of the car and rang the bell.
I saw Jimmy run out of the living room. A second later he pulled the door open.
“Ungle Mike!” He held his arms out and I picked him up into a hug.
“How are you little buddy?”
“Shitacular.”
I almost dropped him. “I beg your pardon?”
“Daddy said it earlier. Was’ it mean?”
“Um, I’ll tell you after dinner, but listen, if you say that word in front of Mommy, she’s going to kill you.”
I knew I’d said the wrong thing when his eyes widened in terror.
“Mommy won’ kill me,” he whispered. “Will she?”
“No, of course not, it just means she’ll be very upset.”
He nodded anxiously as Jack walked out of the living room.
“Hey Mike, I thought I heard you. Come on in, dinner’s on the table.”
“Cool. Thanks for inviting me over.”
“No problem man. After dinner we’ll show you the dress. It should be a perfect fit now, and it still looks the same as it did before.”
I feigned shock. “You mean they didn’t destroy it?”
I felt something hit my head. “Ow!”
“For heaven’s sake, Mike, they’re just oven gloves,” Rosie smiled, setting down the steaming bowl of chilli. “And besides, if you’re going to insult Eleanor and my work, you deserve it. Frankie, dinner’s ready!”
We sat at the table as Frankie came running down with Mr Whirly.
“She’s still carrying that thing around everywhere?” I looked at Rosie.
“Yeah, I think she keeps it because it reminds her of G-R-A-N-D-P-A,” Rosie spelled.
“That spells Ganpa,” piped up Jimmy.
Jack, Rosie and I stared at him.
“What?” Jack said.
“G-R-A-N-D-P-A, ganpa!” he grinned, eating his dinner, a chilli-less version of our dinner.
“He knows too much,” Jack whispered, leaning back in his chair.
“Jimmy, how do you know that spells Grandpa?” Rosie asked.
He shrugged. “Guessed.”
“Good guess,” Jack snickered.
Jimmy scowled at Jack, thinking he’d been insulted. He stared at his mother. “Mommy, Daddy said a bad word earlier and he put his shoes on the furniture.”
Rosie turned to Jack, who suddenly was very busy eating. I grinned at Frankie, who made Mr Whirly wave at me.
When we’d finished, Rosie cleared the dishes whilst she got dessert.
“Tattle-tale!” whispered Jack.
Jimmy stuck his tongue out, then called out “Mommy! Daddy’s calling me names!”
*Mike’s POV*
It was three weeks after I’d told everyone my idea, and we were well on the way to getting it ready. Rosie and Ellie had almost finished altering Adie’s dress and Billie’s tux. Jake had sorted out a caterer and Sarah was making a cake. We were having a lot of trouble finding a minister, as no one wanted to work on Christmas Day.
“Hey, Jakob Armstrong speaking.”
“Hey Jakey, it’s Mike. I checked out that minister you recommended, but he doesn’t want to work on Christmas.”
“Man, that sucks. We’re never going to find someone.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to worry.”
“Wait a second, you’ve known Dad for what, 65 years, and Mom for about 50.”
“Yes…. Your point being?”
“There are these websites on the internet where you can get ordained as a minister. Mom and Dad would love it.”
“My God Jakob. That is a fantastic idea! You’re a genius!”
“Well, I try my best.”
“How’re Joey and Sarah?”
“Yeah, they’re ok, taking it pretty well, they’re at Mom’s house now. I told them about Operation Xmas, and they’re really excited. They think you’re a genius.”
“Well, duh.” I grinned as I looked in the fridge for something to make for dinner. “Oh, hold on, I have another call…. Hello, Mike Dirnt?”
“Hi Mike, it’s Rosie. Ellie and I have just finished Adie’s dress, you wanna come and see it? You can stay over for dinner as well if you like?”
“Sure that’d be lovely Rosie, well done for finishing so soon, now we just have to smuggle it back into the house.”
Rosie laughed. “Yeah, I’ll pop over tomorrow. No, Jimmy, don’t put that in your mouth! Sorry, I have to go, see ya soon. Come over by about five thirty, I’m making chilli con carne.”
“Oo, yum. Bye!”
“Bye!”
I got a glass of water and beeped back into to Jake. “Hey buddy, I’m back.”
“Hey.”
“By the way, Rosie and Ellie have finished the dress, so she should be home soon.”
“Fantastic. Emma’s driving me crazy.”
In the background, I could hear Emma protesting.
“Listen, I better go. I just dropped myself in it.”
“Aw, you know she’ll forgive you anything if you take her shopping.”
“I don’t think she’s quite at the obsessive compulsive shopping age yet…. No wait… she has just corrected me, she is at the obsessive compulsive shopping age. She obviously inherited OCSD from her Mom. Looks like I’m going shopping tomorrow then. Talk to you later, man.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I grabbed my jacket and keys and drove over to Rosie and Jack’s place. I hopped out of the car and rang the bell.
I saw Jimmy run out of the living room. A second later he pulled the door open.
“Ungle Mike!” He held his arms out and I picked him up into a hug.
“How are you little buddy?”
“Shitacular.”
I almost dropped him. “I beg your pardon?”
“Daddy said it earlier. Was’ it mean?”
“Um, I’ll tell you after dinner, but listen, if you say that word in front of Mommy, she’s going to kill you.”
I knew I’d said the wrong thing when his eyes widened in terror.
“Mommy won’ kill me,” he whispered. “Will she?”
“No, of course not, it just means she’ll be very upset.”
He nodded anxiously as Jack walked out of the living room.
“Hey Mike, I thought I heard you. Come on in, dinner’s on the table.”
“Cool. Thanks for inviting me over.”
“No problem man. After dinner we’ll show you the dress. It should be a perfect fit now, and it still looks the same as it did before.”
I feigned shock. “You mean they didn’t destroy it?”
I felt something hit my head. “Ow!”
“For heaven’s sake, Mike, they’re just oven gloves,” Rosie smiled, setting down the steaming bowl of chilli. “And besides, if you’re going to insult Eleanor and my work, you deserve it. Frankie, dinner’s ready!”
We sat at the table as Frankie came running down with Mr Whirly.
“She’s still carrying that thing around everywhere?” I looked at Rosie.
“Yeah, I think she keeps it because it reminds her of G-R-A-N-D-P-A,” Rosie spelled.
“That spells Ganpa,” piped up Jimmy.
Jack, Rosie and I stared at him.
“What?” Jack said.
“G-R-A-N-D-P-A, ganpa!” he grinned, eating his dinner, a chilli-less version of our dinner.
“He knows too much,” Jack whispered, leaning back in his chair.
“Jimmy, how do you know that spells Grandpa?” Rosie asked.
He shrugged. “Guessed.”
“Good guess,” Jack snickered.
Jimmy scowled at Jack, thinking he’d been insulted. He stared at his mother. “Mommy, Daddy said a bad word earlier and he put his shoes on the furniture.”
Rosie turned to Jack, who suddenly was very busy eating. I grinned at Frankie, who made Mr Whirly wave at me.
When we’d finished, Rosie cleared the dishes whilst she got dessert.
“Tattle-tale!” whispered Jack.
Jimmy stuck his tongue out, then called out “Mommy! Daddy’s calling me names!”