Featherless Bird

She was only ten at the time, but knew exactly what 'dead' and 'car accident' meant. She had been inconsolable for days, her dad trying his hardest to help while he was falling apart also. After a while, when he had decided that he wasn't enough to help her, he had sent her to a psychologist. He had helped her through that year, passing through her happy moments of babbling, and her sad moments where she said nothing at all.

Carolyn still remembered her mother's funeral clearly. Many people had showed up, all with tears in their eyes, though Carolyn could clearly see that some weren't exactly truthful. It had angered her at the time that people cried for her mother although they hadn’t even known her very well. It was a sunny day with only one lone cloud in the sky, something her mother would have called a 'special cloud'.

Her mother had been carried in a casket while her father wept next to her. Carolyn hadn't cried that day; she knew her mother wouldn't have wanted it. She always said that you had to be strong in public, to be a big girl. So, she had listened to her. She hadn't cried, as much as she wanted to.

Many people had looked at her strangely and almost astonishingly when during the ceremony the daughter of the decease had not cried.

After that they had went outside and Carolyn remembered how itchy her black dress was and how she wished she could just rip it off and wear the beautiful yellow sun dress her mother loved so dearly. But when she had stated her opinion to her father he had rejected the idea immediately, saying that it wouldn't be proper and she shouldn't be thinking like that. Another of her mother's saying stated that being proper was a bore, that everyone would judge her anyways, why not do something to make them judge even more.

Carolyn had then watched while they lowered her mother into the ground. A few of her mother's old friends or colleagues went up and talked about her mother, and how an amazing woman she was. Then, her father went up and talked also, about how they had met and such. Carolyn couldn't help but think that these people were unoriginal. They all said the same thing, although maybe not in the same words. They all said that her mother was a lovely woman and that she didn't deserve to die.

But, everyone at the funeral knew that already. Why did they have to say it over and over again? Carolyn was bewildered, so when she went up to talk herself, she didn't talk about how caring her mother was, or how she didn't deserve to die. She told the crowd everything her mother had taught her, to never judge, to follow your heart, to let your imagination run. She told them all the things that her mother had said to her over and over again, and that now she'd be the one responsible to tell the rest of the world.

That was her promise to her mother. To always follow her words of wisdom because they had always helped her, why wouldn’t they continue to help?

Years had passed and Carolyn’s life had returned to normal, well as normal as losing your mother can get. She made new friends, got boyfriends, attended her father's wedding to a new woman, held her new step-sister in her arms, she did all this while making sure she respected what her mother had told her.

Carolyn suddenly heard the 'thump' of the laundry, showing that it was ready. She shook her head, trying to get away from the memories and the thoughts to focus on the present. It was no use living in the past, she had done that much too often and it was now time to live in the present and to try to look towards the future, no matter how awful her future looked at the moment.

Carolyn spent the rest of the day playing her violin, feeling too nostalgic to do anything else. She wanted to decorate the house for Christmas, but since Wade had seemed so thrilled about decorating the young woman decided to wait for him to get back.

She played one more note that echoed in the house and left an eerie feeling, before putting down the instrument with a sigh. Her mother had been the one to show her the violin, and had always supported her dream of becoming a world renowned performer. But with her mother, that dream died also and Carolyn was left deciding what she would do with her life now.

And that's when another goal set in her head. If she ever got freed she would do all in her power to finally fulfill that dream. Carolyn then heard the sound of the door open and close and cursed herself. She hadn't made supper yet and that meant that Wade was certainly going to mock her abilities. She ran downstairs and sighed when she saw that Wade had went downstairs to light up the fire, Carolyn had never gotten the skill to light one up, so it was always his job.

She threw four buttered slices of bread into a pan, put some cheese in it and pretended that she had been there all along when Wade came back up. He looked at her with a surprised look and raised an eyebrow.

"What? I told you I was going to make supper." Carolyn said, pretending to be all high and mighty, although it wasn't too hard when seeing Wade's face.

"Huh, I thought you were joking. But alright, what are we having?"

"Grilled cheese." Wade choked a laugh while Carolyn half glared at him. "At least I'm making you food, don't complain." Wade nodded before going to get changed like he did every night.

Carolyn almost felt like his mother today, though if that were true that meant that he wouldn't hit her. She smiled when thinking of the thought of putting Wade in a time out. Although, she didn't actually think he would let her do that, chances were that he would get angry, and that wouldn't be good at all.

"What are you smiling at?" Wade asked as he entered the room again in clothes that weren't his work uniform.

"Nothing." she replied quickly, wiping the smile off of her face. Wade looked at her suspiciously but let it go.

"Are the grilled cheeses almost done?" he asked, and Carolyn gasped and looked wide-eyed at the dinner that was almost burnt.

"Yeah, I think they're done. Can you hand me some plates?" Wade replied by putting two plates in her hand, brushing her hand at the same time. Carolyn noticed that he had been doing this more and more often and she had no idea how she felt about that fact and she also knew that Wade would probably be mad if she mentioned it so she just said nothing and took the plates.

"Oh, this is delicious." Wade said, pretending to make noises to say that the food was delicious while eating it. Carolyn shot him a dirty look, and he smirked at her before continuing to eat his mildly burnt grilled cheese.

"Whatever. At least it's eatable." she said, and Wade grumbled something under his breath that sounded like 'for once'.

That phrase gained him another look, and after that he just shut up and ate his food quietly, thanking her after he was done.