Two for One

"And I say Edward mother fucking Cullen is a fucking fairy!" Dazi yelled out, slamming her hands on the coffee table.

"No he is not!" Barbara argued back.

"Look at the facts. He died when he was a goddamn wizard and then, poof! He's a fucking fairy in the middle of the woods with other fairies! And second, the mother fuckers gay! That Bella chick is giving him the opportunity to do her and he's all like 'No, I want to wait.' That just proves he's a gay fairy!"

I, along with the rest of the guys, were laughing our asses off at this random conversation. How it started, it was beyond me. First, they were discussing Winne the Pooh and it turned to this shit.

"Demitro! Smack her!" Barbara said.

Dazi whipped her head to the side and gave him a glare that would possibly scare even the manliest man. I know it scared the hell out of me.

"Uh, no thanks. I'd like to have kids one day. So I'm keeping my balls safe," Demitro said, shifting in his seat,"And I don't hit women. You know that."

"Oh yeah. Well damn. This conversation was pointless then. But he a damn vampire!"

"Vampires don't freaking glitter! If they did, then Queen of the Damned was way wrong. Twilight is for tweens with nothing better to do!" Dazi exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"Then why the hell did you drag us to go see it and read all the books?" Barbara asked, crossing her arms.

"Cause I was so bored and my mind was bored. Johnny, let's got," Dazi said, standing up.

"Where we going?" Johnny asked, standing up.

"We're going to go watch the new Harry Potter movie. See you guys,"Dazi said as she dragged Johnny out the door.

Their was a moment of silence before I broke it.

"Um, did that just happened?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Looks like it, Papa Bam," Lucas said, leaning into the couch.

I chuckled ans shook my head. Ever since we got home from the studio, all the kids have been calling ma and Brian by the names Dazi gave us. We we talking amongs ourselves when we heard a crash from the other room before two figure emerges.

"Hey guys. We're back from Narnia," Dazi said, sitting on my lap.

"What the hell? I thought you two went to the movie," Mikey said as he took a bite from his pizza.

"Nah. We went on a candy run. Which sadly, the candy didn't survive cause we just wanted it all to ourselves," Johnny said.

"Man. I need to go to the gym," Dazi said as she rubbed her non-existing big belly.

"Why?" Matt asked.

"Cause I can and I bet you can't make it ten minutes in the pool."

I looked over at Matt to see him have a brow raise.

"Do I feel a bet coming on?" he asked.

"Mmm, probably," Dazi said, smirking at him.

"Your on. Tomorrow then," Matt said.

"Alright! We're waking up before the sun comes up so it won't be full and you all be raped by some teens," Dazi said.

"But your a teen," I said, looking at the back of her head.

Dazi shifted to look at me straight in the eyes.

"Yeah. But that doesn't mean I'm going to rape you in your sleep. That's just, disturbingly wrong, man."

I laughed and ruffled her hair.

"Hey! Watch the hair!" Dazi whined as she moved away from me.

I laughed and looked over at Syn, who was smiling and shaking his hair.

"I guess the hair thing runs on you side," I said.

We all heard a crash from the kitchen and Dazi's voice right after it.

"I didn't do it!"

"And you craziness from you side," Brian said.

"What can I say," I said with a smirk.

"I say we get some shut eye. Demitro, Barbara, and Lucas have school tomorrow," Dazi said, coming out of the kitchen with a bottle in hand.

"Aw! Where are we going to sleep?"Lucas asked.

"You can sleep in my room or my moms old room. It doesn't smell like sex no more. It smell like lemon pledge,"Dazi said in a weird accent.

The three teens ran down the hall and we heard a door shoved open.

"Oh my God! It does!" Barbara said before they all yelled good night and slammed the door shut.

Dazi laughed and shook her head before looking back at us.

"So, how bout you all?"

"Well, I have a change of clothes in the trunk, so I'm staying," Brian said.

"Same here," I said.

"I'll be back in ten minutes. I'm going to get some things from home," Matt said before walking out the door.

Gerard, Mikey, Zacky, and Johnny said that they'll get there things later and stayed where they were on the couch. After Matt got back, Dazi gave us all some blanked and we scattered around her living room.

"Night guys," Dazi said as she hugged everyone, Jacob in her arms. The guys all called out night and when she reached me, I brought her into a tight hug and kissed her forehead.

"Night, baby girl," I said.

"Night dad," she said and walked over to Brian.

"Night honey," Brian said and kissed her temple.

"Night dad," she said again before turning off the light and headed to her room.