Twilight Twisted

"You cliff dived without me? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, especially because you'd never done it before and it was the middle of the night? You could've drowned!" Seth kept going on and on about how I shouldn't have lied. I was just happy that none of them knew I talked to the red head whose name I never bothered to pay attention to.

"Chillax, would you? There are a gazillion things that could happen every day that don't. I could get hit by a car, choke to death, or get shot, but I'm still alive," I said and saw him tense.

"WELL YOU COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!" he screamed getting up in my face, and three of the guys rushed behind him and pulled him away, trying to get him to control his anger.

"Someone didn't get their rabies shot," I told him in a lecturing voice, and he seemed to calm down. Why out of all the shapeshifters did he have to be the one to imprint on me?

"I'm sorry baby, please forgive me," he whined before coming up to me and giving me a hug.

"Get your hands off me. You know that's what all the abusive boyfriends say? Just leave me alone," I snapped at him. This was sure going to put a damper on my spying, but there are other ways for me to get information. All I had to do was become friends with one of them. Then not only would I be getting the red head her information, I would also be splitting up the pack. Mwahahahahaha!

I walked out onto the house's deck and was joined by one of the shape shifters a few seconds later. It was early morning a few hours after I got back from my sky diving experience. Sadly, I had to borrow some of Seth's clothes, so I had his scent all over me and it made me want to throw up. I hated Seth so much, there wasn't any words to describe it. I don't know why I hated him, I just did.

"Seth's a drama queen," the shape shifter said.

"Tell me about it. I wish I was a witch so I could turn him into a bunny," Then I could give him to the red head as a gift, although I doubt she ate anything other than humans due to her "high standards".

"I've always wanted to see Seth as a bunny so I can just watch him hippidy hop," his voice turned into a laugh that echoed again and again through my mind.

"What's your name?"

"Embry. Yours?" he said. So he was one of the characters that the girls seemed to like when they're like blah blah blah JACOB.

"Ya know, Seth never even asked me what my name is. It's Kira," I smiled at him.

Stomps erupted from the steps and I found myself jumping slightly. When I turned my eyes to the source, I saw who I knew could only be the all too famous Jacob Black.

"Jake! Where you been man? We looked all over for you!" Embry jumped up and did some kind of handshake that made me struggle to contain my laughter.

"Who's this?" He was practically stripping me with his eyes, I swear. I wonder if Stephanie mentioned how perverted he is in those famous books of hers. I bet half the girls at my school would die to be looked at wrong by him. I'm part of the minority that doesn't give a shit who he is, he better stay out of my way.

"This is Kira. We found her on the beach yesterday saying some pretty crazy stuff. She says it's because she was high, am I correct?" I nodded at him. "And then Seth, who happened to imprint on her, confirmed the random stuff she said in her highness and now she knows what we are."

"Seth imprinted? Thought I'd never see the day."

"I'll never see the day when I'm not repulsed by him! I seriously need those magical powers! The universe is begging for him to become a bunny," I shouted out without thinking, like I always seemed to do.

"You know that stuff you were on before?" Jacob asked while still stripping me with his eyes. I felt so violated.

"Yeah."

"Are you on it now?" His voice wasn't at all mocking, it was dead serious.

"Yup. You can't have any though, before you go asking me."

He raised his hands up in defense and got a giant smirk on his face, but it was slowly wiped away when he saw my face in agony. I gripped my head with both hands and pressed them to my ears as if it would stop the pain and the loud screech. My eyes blurred as the scene changed to a white room that I could still remember perfectly, but it all felt like a dream.

"Her mother is going to press charges," said a man in black suit with a very official voice. He practically screamed lawyer.

"Her mother has no proof. And neither will the mother of the next one I'm sending in," He laughed his stupid psychotic laugh and it was like a punch in the face.

"You're crazy! What are you going to do with me?" Screamed a boy who was in the same position I was a day ago. His hair was a mess of crimson that was from dye and not blood, and his dark brown eyes were full of fear and confusion.

"You're going to the same place as test subject number 1," his evil laugh broke out and my vision once again started blurring. Just as I was about to go back into the twilight world, I heard an earsplitting scream that got distant, and grew loud again when I opened my eyes.

"Who are you?" Jacob asked the boy that had successfully been sent here to the same place I was at.

"Hey, you! I need to talk to you!" I shouted. I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to where we wouldn't be over heard by any nosy shape shifters.

"Where the hell am I?"

"That's the same question I asked myself yesterday when the psycho guy sent me here! We're in the fucking twilight saga, man!" I yelled in a frustrated voice.

"You're kidding me! The place those chicks always bitch about? My girlfriend dumped me because I wasn't as good as Edward fucking Cullen!" He screamed, shaking my shoulders to illustrate his point.

"Good, then you'll help me in my plan to eliminate Edward. I'm spying on Bella for the red head vampire chick," I spilled out hurriedly.

"I thought I told you not to tell anyone. Now I have no choice but to kill you both," she said as she appeared out of nowhere like a truly skilled ninja.

"Oh my god, Victoria! You're like, my favorite character in the entire saga!" He screeched, and I resisted the urge to plug my ears. Instead, I rolled my eyes.

"Now would be a good time for us to scream really loud so the shape shifters hear us," I whispered to the boy before making sure he saw my fingers.

Three.

Two.

One.

"HELP!" We both screamed out in unison.

Just seconds later a giant group of the shape shifters pounced at the red head in their werewolf form, and tore her apart into separate pieces. Then Embry came over in human form (thankfully, with some pants) and started a fire, throwing all of her parts in and watching her burn.

"I thought she wasn't supposed to die until the third book," the boy whispered to me, and I raised my eyebrow at him. "So I've heard." His cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Everything is being impacted by us being here. Everything is going to be different," I whispered back, and we looked at each other with eyes full of mischief. "This is going to be fun."