Status: Slowly decaying...
Twilight Twisted
Mission Fatty Baby
"Alright Sherlock, since you read the books you can start," I told the crimson haired boy, handing him a black sharpie for the white board in front of us.
"My names Tony. Anywho, based on what you said about Bella crying in the forest, we both agree that this is during the second book."
"Yes captain obvious, we've established this," I said in a sarcastic tone. I quickly shut my mouth when he put on his freaky face. I swear, that face could've scared Godzilla away.
"So basically during the second book Jacob the werewolf-" He began before I cut him off.
"He's a shape shifter."
"Do I look like I fucking care?" He shouted, twitching slightly.
"Sorry, continue my master," My voice sounded extra robotic.
"Jacob the shape shifter got close to Bella, and then she cliff dived and Alice saw it in her vision, and Edward ended up thinking she killed herself. He was gonna get himself killed and shit, but Bella showed up, then there was this thing with the ruler vampires."
"I know! We can make Edward think she slept with Jacob, and hint that there might be a baby. Then we'll make Bella think that Edward left her because she was too skinny and he thought she had anorexia. She'll start eating a lot more and gaining weight, and Edward will see this when he comes to check up on her and think she's pregnant!" I jumped up with joy and gave myself a pat on the back for coming up with the marvelous plan.
"That's fucking epic! It'll be called mission Fatty Baby!" We both jumped up and gave each other high fives.
"It'll be a pleasure working with you, Evil Accomplice," I chuckled.
"You too, you evil bitch."
*****************************************************************
1 week later
"I feel like it's my duty as your friend to tell you this, even if it isn't what you want to hear," I said to Bella with fake sympathy.
"What is it?" She asked unenthusiastically.
"I saw Edward in the forest," I whispered to her, and she immediately looked shocked.
"When? What happened? What did he say? Is he back?" These questions poured out of her mouth.
"He told me that he wants to come back, but he thinks that he's causing you to be anorexic," My face looked grim, but internally I was excited.
"Anorexic? Why would he think that?"
"He said that before he left you started looking too skinny, and he thought it was because of him. He told me he's only coming back if you gain some weight," She contemplated over what I said.
"If that's the way to get him back, then that's what I'll do," she told me confidently.
"Alright. Sorry but I gotta go. How 'bout I come over tomorrow and we hang out? And by the way, if you want your weight gain to look more natural, try to gain it slowly at first."
"Good idea. I'll see you tomorrow around 5?" She asked me. Perfect
*****************************************************************
The Next Day at 5:30 PM
"Why do you want me to read this script?"
"I need someone to practice with. I'm going to be an actress one day, but that'll never happen if I don't rehearse," I said, feeding her a load of crap.
"Okay, I guess," she mumbled.
"I've made a terrible mistake," she cried out to me. I never knew that Bella could act. Boy was I surprised.
"You wanna talk about it?" I asked, playing my role as her new friend.
"I-I slept with h-him," she sobbed out, completely realistically.
"Who?" I asked gently, rubbing her back like it said to in the script.
"J-Jacob."
"Was it not what you were expecting?" I asked her gently.
"Oh, i-it was everything I c-could have ever w-wanted. N-no other m-man could satisfy me like h-he did. He w-was amazing!" She cried, and I changed my face to make it look confused.
"Then what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
"I-I think I'm p-pregnant!"
We stayed like that for awhile until I figured that Alice had stopped seeing us. I knew she was probably going to have a vision of Bella saying those things, and of course she'll end up thinking about it around Edward. The best part is, she'll never know about the plan because both me and Tony have been around the shape shifters recently. Booyah!
"Thanks for helping me practice, Bella!"
"No problem. Can I tell you something? Most of the time I just feel numb, but when I'm with you, I don't feel so bad anymore. Things almost feel normal," she whispered to me, leaning closer.
"I feel super cool."
"That's because you are," she said, and she kept leaning in until her lips were touching mine. She started kissing me like there was no tomorrow. I have no idea who that chick thought she was. Like I would ever willingly kiss her.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm just really confused," A look of shame crossed over her face.
"Don't feel ashamed. Just find a girl to hook up with that isn't me, got it?" I questioned her before quickly rushing out of her house and trying to erase the memory of her nasty lips on mine.
As I fled the scene, I whispered to myself, "It was Angelina Jolie, it was Angelina Jolie." Slightly easing the urge to puke.
"My names Tony. Anywho, based on what you said about Bella crying in the forest, we both agree that this is during the second book."
"Yes captain obvious, we've established this," I said in a sarcastic tone. I quickly shut my mouth when he put on his freaky face. I swear, that face could've scared Godzilla away.
"So basically during the second book Jacob the werewolf-" He began before I cut him off.
"He's a shape shifter."
"Do I look like I fucking care?" He shouted, twitching slightly.
"Sorry, continue my master," My voice sounded extra robotic.
"Jacob the shape shifter got close to Bella, and then she cliff dived and Alice saw it in her vision, and Edward ended up thinking she killed herself. He was gonna get himself killed and shit, but Bella showed up, then there was this thing with the ruler vampires."
"I know! We can make Edward think she slept with Jacob, and hint that there might be a baby. Then we'll make Bella think that Edward left her because she was too skinny and he thought she had anorexia. She'll start eating a lot more and gaining weight, and Edward will see this when he comes to check up on her and think she's pregnant!" I jumped up with joy and gave myself a pat on the back for coming up with the marvelous plan.
"That's fucking epic! It'll be called mission Fatty Baby!" We both jumped up and gave each other high fives.
"It'll be a pleasure working with you, Evil Accomplice," I chuckled.
"You too, you evil bitch."
*****************************************************************
1 week later
"I feel like it's my duty as your friend to tell you this, even if it isn't what you want to hear," I said to Bella with fake sympathy.
"What is it?" She asked unenthusiastically.
"I saw Edward in the forest," I whispered to her, and she immediately looked shocked.
"When? What happened? What did he say? Is he back?" These questions poured out of her mouth.
"He told me that he wants to come back, but he thinks that he's causing you to be anorexic," My face looked grim, but internally I was excited.
"Anorexic? Why would he think that?"
"He said that before he left you started looking too skinny, and he thought it was because of him. He told me he's only coming back if you gain some weight," She contemplated over what I said.
"If that's the way to get him back, then that's what I'll do," she told me confidently.
"Alright. Sorry but I gotta go. How 'bout I come over tomorrow and we hang out? And by the way, if you want your weight gain to look more natural, try to gain it slowly at first."
"Good idea. I'll see you tomorrow around 5?" She asked me. Perfect
*****************************************************************
The Next Day at 5:30 PM
"Why do you want me to read this script?"
"I need someone to practice with. I'm going to be an actress one day, but that'll never happen if I don't rehearse," I said, feeding her a load of crap.
"Okay, I guess," she mumbled.
"I've made a terrible mistake," she cried out to me. I never knew that Bella could act. Boy was I surprised.
"You wanna talk about it?" I asked, playing my role as her new friend.
"I-I slept with h-him," she sobbed out, completely realistically.
"Who?" I asked gently, rubbing her back like it said to in the script.
"J-Jacob."
"Was it not what you were expecting?" I asked her gently.
"Oh, i-it was everything I c-could have ever w-wanted. N-no other m-man could satisfy me like h-he did. He w-was amazing!" She cried, and I changed my face to make it look confused.
"Then what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
"I-I think I'm p-pregnant!"
We stayed like that for awhile until I figured that Alice had stopped seeing us. I knew she was probably going to have a vision of Bella saying those things, and of course she'll end up thinking about it around Edward. The best part is, she'll never know about the plan because both me and Tony have been around the shape shifters recently. Booyah!
"Thanks for helping me practice, Bella!"
"No problem. Can I tell you something? Most of the time I just feel numb, but when I'm with you, I don't feel so bad anymore. Things almost feel normal," she whispered to me, leaning closer.
"I feel super cool."
"That's because you are," she said, and she kept leaning in until her lips were touching mine. She started kissing me like there was no tomorrow. I have no idea who that chick thought she was. Like I would ever willingly kiss her.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm just really confused," A look of shame crossed over her face.
"Don't feel ashamed. Just find a girl to hook up with that isn't me, got it?" I questioned her before quickly rushing out of her house and trying to erase the memory of her nasty lips on mine.
As I fled the scene, I whispered to myself, "It was Angelina Jolie, it was Angelina Jolie." Slightly easing the urge to puke.