Twilight Twisted

We approached Sam's house with rumbling stomachs.

Tony knocked on the door in what was supposed to be our super secret knock for our secret layer.

"Damn it. Now we have to change to the knock AGAIN," I whispered with clenched teeth. He gave me the smile that always caused people to mistake him for a 9 year old. It was pretty much the opposite of his freaky face.

The door swung open to a panting Embry.

"Hey, Kira. I hate you, Tony," Embry sung between deep breathes.

"You still haven't forgotten about that? I heard grudges are bad for your teeth."

"I heard it's horrible for your teeth to use someone elses tooth brush," I chuckled.

"I'm never going to understand why you're so obsessed with tooth brushes," Tony mumbled. Oh god, not the freaky face again. Anything but the freaky face!

"Breakfast is ready!" I heard from somewhere behind Embry. He instantly shot up and ran inside like a mother trucker with me and Tony not far behind. Tony's expression mirrored the one he'd momentarily had while breathing in the Gerbil poo bag before he'd realized its contents. So basically, one of pure bliss.

We were both radiating with joy before we realized that ALL of the food was already gone.

"Are you shitting me? You already ate EVERYTHING? It's been, like, 20 seconds! What next, are you going to eat a whole McDonalds?" I shouted with extra menace. There was no way I was going to starve because their fat pimple hands couldn't keep away from anything food related.

"It's alright, Kira. I'm used to cooking for an army. I'll make you some more," a woman standing off to the side smiled. Her face was covered in scars and she was so skinny I could probably snap her in half.

"Are you anorexic?" Tony asked innocently.

"Go ahead and say that again!" Sam screamed in a monsterly voice. Was the whole pack on steroids? Damn.

"Why, so you can feel better about all the food you ate? I'm not talking to you. Step aside, wife clawer," Tony snapped. He contorted his face into something even freakier than his freaky face. How was that even possible? I quickly covered my eyes so it wouldn't traumatize me.

"Whoa. I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me!" Sam cried, backing away and putting the woman in front of him to use as a shield.

"Sam!" she cried.

Everything went downhill from there. The rest of the wolves quickly tried hiding behind Sam and he turned to try to hide behind them, leading to a totally crazy mosh pit. The terrified squeals started once Tony decided to sing a screamo version of some kind of cheetah girls song. Seriously, the Cheetah Girls? That boy had much to learn.

I took this as my chance to sneak into the bathroom. I had no idea how any of them would fit in there. It was crammed. Maybe they just pissed outside, taking literally the phrase 'nature calls'? If so, what I was doing would be totally pointless.

"Might as well," I mumbled, pouring Gerbil's poop into the toilet. Me and Tony weren't in our best states of mind when we decided to make this a part of mission shape shifter flatulence. We figured that somehow bunny shit in one of their toilets would lead to a fight.

I quietly snuck back to the madness. The scar lady had made it out of the mosh pit and came running up to me. I temporarily contemplated jumping in and moshing, but decided against it. I was here for business.

"Please, help me! I haven't eaten in 3 months. Sam says I shouldn't eat when all the food should go to the pack. I need to get out of here!" She begged. I happened to be feeling charitable that day.

"Fine, come with me," I whispered, pulling her by the arm.

"Time to go, cheetah girls lover," I whispered into Tony's ear and dragged him along as well.