I'm Obsessed With Serial Killers

I woke up the next morning with no feeling of grief. No acknowledgement of the passing of another life, even if it was a life I had unfairly stolen from a man who may or may not have deserved it.
Does anyone truly deserve to die?
The thought puzzled me but I figure it doesn't matter. People don't deserve anything, they're all hypocrites. Even if nobody deserves to die, I highly doubt this man did anything making it so he deserves to live, after all.

Paranoia began settling in my mind eventually, a fear of prosecution bubbling up inside my stomach as I tried to swallow the burnt toast I had attempted to make for breakfast. I couldn't really eat, but I figured that was probably a good thing. Liliana always says that eating makes you fat. She might be on to something there.
Tossing my burnt excuse for toast and jam, I shut out my racing thoughts about last night by obsessively cleaning my apartment. I always do this, though. My apartment cycles between an average house after it's been cleaned, and a model home being shown off by a real estate agent. Lily never lets me hear the end of it, but I like being a clean freak. Hopefully my existing compulsions are enough to help me cover my tracks.

Maybe an hour later, Liliana came over asking if I wanted to come grocery shopping with her. I was running low on food, actually, but I didn't think of it as I planned to hunt for my own from now on. I couldn't scare Lily off, though, so I agreed to go with her anyway.
Walking through the aisles at Wal-Mart was much more eye-opening than I ever would have imagined. Looking at the fresh, raw meat made my mouth water, thoughts of packaging human meat up and farming it the way we do with cows racing through my head. Maybe then steak wouldn't be so repulsive. Even better, maybe I could make a living from running my own slaughter house.
I figured that fantasy was a tad stupid. Killing was enough, then there was my private cannibalism soon to be on top of that, I shouldn't do anything to help me get caught, and certainly not something that would increase my charges so much. Not that there's much more they could do to me, looking at what I'm about to become.

Lily and I had finished food shopping, but I felt compelled to do something more.
"Actually, since we're here, I really need some new knives."
"What for?" Lily looked a bit shocked.
"The ones I have are way too dull?" I shrugged. "I always buy the cheapest ones so it happens." I smiled.
She nodded and we walked down the aisle, where one of the shelf-stockers greeted us.
"Can I help you two with something?"
"I need some new knives, preferably sharp ones that work on tough meat."
He nodded, showing me some shiny silver blades in the middle of the aisle. The light glistened off them just right, highlighting the sharpness that could so easily pierce through flesh. The employee picked the set up.
"These here are one of the more pricey sets, but they're the sharpest we carry, and they're also made out of the best material,"
He went on and on talking the knives up, but he didn't need to. Just their shine was enough to ignite my bloodlust. I laughed to myself; I wonder if this guy knew he was helping out the future serial killers of this town. Not only that, but he was doing a spectacular job with it.

After purchasing my shiny new friends (along with a weeks worth of food), Liliana and I headed back home, not really sure what our daily plans were. I did know one thing, though. Tonight was the night. I would kill again, I had to perfect the ritual. I even knew just who my next victim would be - some washed out self-proclaimed single mother who hangs around wal-mart. I've never seen her with children, by the way. Her sign just says she has them. Some mother she is, abandoning the kids to panhandle at walmart (unless, of course, the kids don't exist.)

Lily and I didn't do much of anything all day. Sat around, played some games together, watched Donnie Darko and Requiem for a Dream at my place. My mind wasn't all there, so keeping her occupied was convenient that way. All I could dream about was the deed done tonight.
Liliana went home and my new plan required something more than the new kitchen knives I found at wal-mart. I needed something bigger. A machete, if possible, sharp to the touch and ready for penetration, if you catch my drift. So a trip to the hunting store was in order.

-----

Gloves on, body covered, and a giant, shining knife in hand, I stalked my prey down the alleyway behind Wal-Mart. She still had no sign of real children, so I figured my conscience can rest easy, whatever a conscience is.
I didn't have a sedative ready, but I didn't need it for a weak old lady. I just snuck up behind her, slowly, carefully, tripping her to the ground and getting on top of her as fast as I could, strangling her until she lost consciousness from a lack of oxygen. From there, things were easy.

I knew I was straying from the previous ritual with the man, but I figured different sexes can have different rituals. I had no rule against it. I stripped the woman down, peeling off her dirt-stained clothing, scrunching my face at the horrible odor that came with the act.
Once she was stripped down, I took my knife and gently shoved it between her legs, moving it deeper and deeper, feeling the push as it sliced through walls of muscle and pierced organs, adding and relieving small bits of resistance with each layer of tissue that was sliced. Using all the strength in my arms, I took the knife, now lodged inside her body as far as it could go, and hoisted it upward, slicing through her abdomen and creating a thick, bloody line. Any doubt about her death was now erased with the bloody line splitting her entire torso in half. Strings of red hung out from the wound, severed organs peeking out from behind the sliced muscle. Blood pooled in the wound as it ran out the sides, soaking the outside flesh and creating a puddle on the pavement. I sighed and took my knife back, enjoying the view while wishing only that the pain took longer to inflict on the woman. This kill seemed so quick. Mechanical.
Swinging the large knife as if it were a baseball bat, I chopped off the woman's limbs, then separated the chunks of meat into smaller bits, keeping the arms and legs for myself to consume later, and disposing of the abdomen, hands, feet, and head in a nearby dumpster. With the blood left on the knife, I drew a smile. The authorities would get a kick out of this. (: