Now It's My Time to Strike Back

I turned over, the phone flashing Vic on the ID. I groaned slightly, reaching to ignore the call, but Nick’s hands gently stopped me.

“Please don’t answer it. I want to enjoy this”, he said in a soft tone.

“Enjoy this?” I asked slightly confused.

“I loved this. And as much as I want to be with you, I know you’re still thinking about Vic, Jake and I, right?” he asked, reading me easily.

A sigh escaped me before I spoke.

“I-it’s not like I don’t want to be with you. I just- “, I began, but he cut across me.

“-you just want to make sure I don’t hurt you again. I get it, Rose”, he said in a soothing tone, using his left hand to caress my right cheek as the sunlight poured into the room.

I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded instead.

“I’m in love with you, Rose and that’ll never change. OK?” he asked.

The warm, bubbly feeling went through me at his words. I nodded as a small smile crept onto my lips.

“I love you”, he whispered, wrapping an arm around me as I cuddled into his arms.

I wanted so desperately to say the same to him, but we knew I couldn’t. God, this was all messed up.

…

-Later that day-

Mel burst out laughing as she and I sat in the field of grass on the campus a few yards from my tree.

“Mel”, I groaned, blushing like mad.

“I-I’m sorry, Rose, but I told you something was going to happen. I just didn’t think it would happen this soon”, she said, getting her laughter under control.

I’d told her about what happened between Nick and I and all she did was laugh. Oh, well.

“But it’s not going to happen again”, I said in a serious tone. Mel shot me a look.

“Bull. If it happened once, it’ll happen again. What started that again?” she asked.

“Nick did, well, sort of. It was consensual, but I did kiss him first”, I admitted.

“So, what happened after that?” she asked, her eyes landing towards the gym.

Jake and Nick were in the gym. The baseball team came back early to start training and Jake went to “watch”. I think he was only doing that to make sure Nick and I didn’t kiss again.

“Well, obviously more kisses were shared between us, but I made myself stop then Nick did and we got ready for breakfast, going our separate ways so here we are”, I rambled.

“That’s a shame”, Mel said in serious tone.

“What is?” I asked, obviously confused.

“It’s a shame that Nick broke up with you in April yet the day after he breaks up with Vic, you guys end up sleepin’ together as though you guys were never broken up at all. Then, to make matters worse, you lied to Jake saying you wanted to think things out when we all know you want to be with Nick”, she explained.

“It’s not like that, actually”, I said slowly.

“Really? Then, what’s your opinion about everything?” she asked skeptically.

“It’s just…I love Nick, but I’m not sure if I want to actually be with him”, I admitted.

Mel sat up straighter at my words.

“What? So you mean you’ve been considering giving Jake a chance?” she asked, a small smile creeping on her lips.

“I don’t know”, I said, shaking my head.

“But you don’t want to be with Nick because he might hurt you and since you’ve never been with Jake, you want to give him a chance, too”, she got out as though she read my mind.

“That’s so messed up, isn’t it?” I asked, ashamed at myself.

“Not really”, Mel said simply.

My head whipped at her in shock.

“I mean, you got hurt by Nick once and even when you knew things were going to take a turn for the worst, you remained loyal to him only for him to choose Vic. But the reality is, Jake wasn’t really any better, either. You said Nick said that Jake only wanted to be with you when you and Nick were having problems, but I think it was before that. Maybe-maybe Jake is in love with you, too, Rose”, she said, catching me off guard.

“Jake in love with me? How do you figure?” I asked, my mind racing.

“Think about it. He warned you about Vic before you and Nick broke up and he was your best friend for years. He had to have developed feelings for you over time”, she said as though it were obvious.

“Well, of course I knew he did from him trying to kiss me over the summer, but I mean, love, Mel? I didn’t think Jake loved me. I just thought he just had feelings for me”, I admitted.

“Rosie, you’re gorgeous! Who wouldn’t fall for you?” she asked with a smile.

I looked out towards the gym, too as silence fell between us for the first time. The door opened as Jake exited the gym with Nick behind him.

“Should I give Jake a chance?” I asked, staring at the two of them.

“In my opinion, yeah! Jake deserves at least one chance”, she said with honesty.

I bit my lip.

“Just testing the waters, right?” I asked, not liking the sound of it.

“Mhm. I just hope you don’t grow feelings for him”, she blurted.

“You know how I am about things like that. That’s why I asked”, I said with a slight attitude.

Mel knew I couldn’t “test the waters” with anyone. I either had to be with someone, not with anyone, or in the process of getting to know someone to date them. It’d be hard to be flirty or even casual with Jake when my mind would be stuck on Nick half of the time.

“Just give him one day. You might change your mind about him”, she said, but I barely heard her.

Both Nick and Jake began approaching us, making me nervous.

“What should I do?” I asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know. Just be normal”, was Mel’s response.

Once they reached us about a minute later, everyone said their hello’s before silence fell over us.

“So, Rose, are you busy next Friday night?” Jake asked, breaking the silence.

I stared at him in shock as Mel did the same.

“Um, no, I’m not”, I answered, stealing a glance at Nick.

“Well, would you mind going out with me, then?” he asked, causing Mel to cough to mask her laughter.

Jake’s face remained blank after he glared at her before diverting his attention back to me.

“Uh”, I said, trailing off as I stared from Nick to Jake and back again.

Nick had pleading eyes, yet he had a look that told me he wasn’t going to force or even ask me not to go.

“Sure, I’ll go with you”, I answered with a small, fake smile.

“R-really?” Jake asked in shock.

“Yeah”, I answered again, feeling Nick’s intense stare burn into my face.

Soon enough, Nick took off without saying a word and I watched him. A part of me wanted to chase after him, but I knew I couldn’t. I had to get used to not being with Nick for once.

But still, even after Nick disappeared back to our dorm as Jake now walked back to his own, I couldn’t get rid of the guilt that filled me as I felt like a total slut.

Was it bad that I wanted to be with Nick instead?