No Soul

May fourteenth, two thousand and ten.

“What?” Sidney groaned, reaching around his nightstand for his cell phone that seemed like it had been ringing all morning. Was sleeping more than three and a half hours entirely too much to ask for?

Picking up the cell, he pressed the green button before sliding it between his cheek and pillow.

“This is Sidney.” He rasped.

“Sidney Crosby?” The young woman’s voice made his face scrunch in distaste. He was going to have to change his number again.

“Yes, this is he.” He replied, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Wow, you have no idea how hard it was to get a hold of you, Mr. Crosby.” The voice stated, making his eyes open just a bit more.

“Can I ask why you’re calling Ms…?” He trailed, sitting up in bed as his sheet fell down to his torso, reminding him that he needed to turn up the air conditioning.

“Harris, my name is Mrs. Harris and I’m from Northumberland County Hospital.” She began; making a thousand thoughts fly through his head at once. Had something happened to one of his teammates?

“Hospital?” He asked, rubbing his fists into his eyes. “Is someone hurt? What is this regarding?”

“Mr. Crosby, we have an Emma Irwin here at Northumberland and –“ He couldn’t wait for her to finish her sentence.

“Emma Irwin?” He asked, hopping out of bed, not bothering to change his sweatpants for jeans before pulling on a sweatshirt and socks, stuffing his feet into a pair of sneakers.

“Yes and you are listed on her birth certificate as her father.” She added. “We need you to come down so that when she is healed we can release her into your care, Mr. Crosby.” She elaborated.

“What about her mother? Lana Irwin?” Sidney asked, moving quickly to get into his Rover.

“Mr. Crosby, Lana Irwin died two days ago due to complications caused by a car accident.” Sidney paused, thoughts swirling as reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Died?” He asked, feeling faint.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” She stated in a much more gentler tone. “But Emma is here and finally awake. It took us a surprisingly long time to get a hold of you, but she is alone here, Mr. Crosby.”

“I can be there in three hours, I’m coming from just outside Pittsburgh.” He grabbed his keys and hat off of the table beside his front door. He hung up the phone before she could finish their conversation and hopped into his car.

Lana had died? She died? Why wasn’t he hearing about this until now? How had no one contacted him yet?

And Emma, his precious Emma. What had happened to her? Was she in the car with Lana? Sidney took out his cell and called the one person he absolutely needed to be with him.

“Hello?” The familiar voice answered on the other side of the line.

“Mario? I need you to meet me at Northumberland County Hospital.” Sidney rushed out, hitting the highway as fast as possible. He was Sidney Crosby; he could drive however he damn well pleased.

“Northumberland? Sid what’s going on?” Mario asked, worry evident in his tone as he talked to the boy who had grown up as part of his family – more so than his real family.

“Please Mario, it’s an emergency, I can explain more when you get there.” Sidney insisted, a cold sweat breaking out across his forehead as the reality of the situation set in and he could feel his heart racing within his chest. It was a good thing he was driving to a hospital.

“I’ll be there.” Mario finalized before Sidney could hang up, the one person he had unwavering confidence in wouldn’t let him down – even if Sidney might.

He couldn’t remember the nearly three hour drive to the county hospital, but when he walked through the front office and inquired about Emma Irwin, the receptionist recognized him right away.

“Second floor, pediatrics, room two twenty-eight.” She smiled with a small trace of sadness as he nodded, pulling his hat down low over his eyes. Opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator, he rushed up them by two like he was tying his shoes; his adrenaline was pumping so hard through his veins he felt like he could lift a car. When he arrived at the room, he noticed a man in a suit sitting outside of it, waiting patiently.

“Mr. Crosby?” The man’s head perked up upon seeing Sidney.

“That’s me.” Sidney managed out, dying to get inside of the room beside the stranger.

“Mr. Crosby, I’m Dale Hannon, I’m Emma’s social worker.” He shook Sidney’s hand.

“Social worker?” Sidney asked, the words tasting bitter in his mouth. Weren’t social workers for children who were beaten or from broken homes?

“Yes, seeing as you’ve been MIA and Lana was the only living relative of Emma and Noah’s, I’ve been overseeing their case. Noah is staying at the house of a good friend of mine until we can release him into your care.” He explained further.

“Emma’s in there?” Sidney asked, wanting to move the conversation along so he could finally get in there and see his girl.

“Yes, but before we get to that – “

“Anything else can wait.” Sidney said indignantly, realizing how little he cared about what the social worker had to say over finally seeing his little girl. Sidney entered the room, peeking his head around the corner to see a form of a little person outlined in blankets and a head full of thick, dark curls.

Taking a step in, the condensation on his sneakers made a squeaking noise against the tile floor, causing the little body to roll over in the bed. The first thing that caught Sidney’s attention was the hot pink cast on the impossibly tiny little arm.

“Hi there.” He smiled softly, not wanting to startle her. He knew he was a stranger. And he hated it.

She eyed him carefully but said nothing as he took another step into the room.

“Do you mind if I sit down?” He asked gently, remembering the time he had visited sick children in the hospital with his team and all of the appropriate ways to approach children when they were feeling vulnerable.

Her eyes were big and sad, she had been crying – that was for certain. But her eyes were mirror images of his own, dark and liquid just like his. She had pale, porcelain skin and a shock of dark curls.

Dale Hannon entered the room, a warm smile on his face as Emma looked between the person she recognized in the room and the new stranger.

“Hi, Em.” Dale smiled, walking up beside her bed. “How are you feeling today?” He asked very quietly. She simply nodded, still shaken up from being in the car accident hat took her mother’s life and now being surrounded by total strangers.

All she really wanted was her Mama.

“Emma, this is my friend, Sidney.” Dale ushered to the new stranger sitting beside her bed. “Can you say ‘hi’ to Sidney?” Dale asked.

“Hi.” Emma said very softly, so softly they almost missed it, but Sidney heard it loud and clear.

“Emma, the reason I want you to meet my friend Sidney is because Sidney is your Dad. Do you know what that means?” Dale asked, still very quietly knowing that this was a lot of information for the little girl to take in. Emma looks back and forth between the two of them even quicker, eyes growing wide as she begins to breathe a little faster. Tears well up in her eyes and its another split second until she’s bawling loudly in her hospital bed.

“Mama!” She cries loudly, making Sidney’s heart break in his chest. “I wan’ Mama!” She continued to bawl, her little body racking with shakes and sobs until she tires herself out. It wasn’t until she was back asleep that there was a knock on the door. Sidney turned to see Mario standing outside, giving him an unreadable look.

“If you can excuse me for a second.” Sidney pardoned himself from the room.

“Found you pretty quick after asking the receptionist where Sidney Crosby had headed.” He smiled, trying to make light of the situation. Sidney simply nodded without a smile, feeling his nerves firing off in all of his extremities. He would finally have to tell Mario, his idol, and the man he respected most about the one secret he ever kept from him. “What’s going on, Sid?” Mario asked, seeing the anguish his young friend was in.

“I… I’ve never told anyone this except my Dad.” He began, rubbing the back of his neck as he could feel his pulse beating hard in his neck. “Mario –“ He choked on his own spit for a second. “I have kids.” He sputtered out. Mario stood silently, taking in the young man before him and trying to find anything but the truth in his eyes.

“Kids?” He asked with a sigh.

“A couple years ago I saw one of my friends from Shattuck. She was in Pittsburgh for the night because she was the student athletic trainer for McGill and they had a tournament down there. We went to dinner, had a drink… one thing lead to another and before I knew it, she was calling me a few weeks later to tell me she was pregnant.” He explained, dying for some kind of reaction from Mario.

“So why is it that this is the first that I’m hearing of his, Sid?” Mario asked, hoping not to hear the answer he was expecting.

“I freaked out, I didn’t know what to do - what to say. I was nineteen so I turned to my Dad for advice.” He began, instantly making Mario frown. It wasn’t that Mario disliked Troy Crosby, but they were two very different people who clashed heads a majority of the time. “He told me not to worry about it, and that he would take care of it.” He added. “Later I found out that he had pretty much paid Lana to forget my name and number and to keep quiet about the whole thing. I wanted to make things right but I couldn’t find her, it was like she had disappeared.” He insisted.

“But now…” Mario began.

“She listed me as Emma and Noah’s father on their birth certificates.” Sidney elaborated. “I got the call this morning that Lana had… died in a car crash. Emma was bumped around and bruised, but I think she’s okay for the most part. Noah – I don’t even know where Noah is, he’s with some guy, and I have a social worker, and I –“

“Sid, calm down.” Mario said in a stern voice that also managed to be warm at the same time. “Things are going to be okay.” He insisted. “I’ll talk to the social worker, you go in there and be with…”

“Emma.” Sidney supplied.

“You go be with Emma, I’ll take care of the logistics.” Mario insisted, noticing that his pseudo-son’s eyes had filled with unshed tears. “It’s going to be all right.” He placed a comforting hand on Sidney’s shoulder. Sidney nodded and they returned to Emma’s room together. Mario asked for Dale’s attention in the hall and Sidney was finally alone with Emma.

The two simply sat and stared at one another for a few moments, eyeing each other up before Emma broke the silence.

“You my Daddy?” She asked carefully to which Sidney nodded. “Noah Daddy?” She asked another question to which Sidney replied with a nod. “Where Noah? I have owie.” She raised her little pink cast that already had a few signatures on it.

“Noah is going to be here soon.” Sidney assumed. “Can I see your owie?” He asked, wanting nothing more than to scoop her into his arms and hold her forever. Emma nodded and he scooted his chair a little closer to her bed, his knees just barely touching the mattress on which she laid. She held her arm out to him as he looked over the few signatures and drawings – a cat, a sunshine, Nurse Jackie and Dale all drawn and written in black marker.

“Kiss it better.” She frowned, making a tiny grin pull at his lips. “Mama kiss it better.” She insisted. Sidney brought his lips down into the neon pink plaster and looked up at her expectantly.

“Better?” He asked, her little hand still clasped in his, feeling impossibly small. She shook her head in the negative. “Not any better, huh?” He asked. He kissed the plaster again, looking up at her as she eyed him suspiciously.

“A little.” She declared. “You have owie?” She asked, looking down at the small brace on Sidney’s right wrist, something that he hadn’t even noticed until now. He had been wearing it for almost a month and now it just seemed like part of his anatomy.

“I do.” Sidney nodded. “Do you know what hockey is?” He asked, watching as her eyes blinked unknowingly at him, pulling a wide smile across his thick lips.

“I kiss it better?” She asked, her miniscule fingers playing with his, marveling at the way one of his fingers looked as big as her wrist. Sidney’s face turned a thousand shades of pink – rivaling her cast as she leaned down and pressed her tiny lips to his brace. She looked up at him pointedly, blinking her coffee-creamer eyes at him with a curious expression.

“Much better.”