No Soul

Sidney wasn’t surprised that neither of the twins slept through the night, Emma waking up once crying for her Mother and Noah waking up from the sound of her sobs. Sidney held her to his chest and paced back and forth in his suite, petting her soft hair and letting her tire herself out as Noah simply sat and watched from his bed, holding his elephant tightly. The second time Sidney woke up was when Noah nudged his shoulder relentlessly.

“Potty.” He stated. “I need to potty.” He elaborated for Sidney. Sidney nodded and got out of bed, Noah following him as he showed him the restroom. The two men surveyed the toilet before realizing that the seat came up past Noah’s bellybutton. Sidney noted to invest in a stool as he picked Noah up under the arms and held him as he peed. At three-fifty in the morning, Sidney tucked his son back into bed and crashed for the final time that night.

When morning rolled around, it was one of the very few times Sidney did not wake up to an alarm, but happy squeals and screams. Rolling out of bed, he frowned upon seeing that stuffed animals only occupied the two beds on the other side of the room. Pulling a pair or track pants on over his boxers, he didn’t bother with a shirt before wandering down to the kitchen where he watched Noah and Emma standing on stools flanked on either side of Nathalie as she made pancakes.

“A piggy!” Emma screamed happily as Nathalie squeezed batter out from a bottle to make animals and shapes for the kids. Emma noticed Sidney’s presence first, launching her little body from her stool into his hard body. Sidney hardly caught her in time as she smiled up at him, her little arms snugged tightly around his neck with a wide smile. “Breakfast!” She announced. “Nammy making breakfast!” She continued.

“Is she?” Sidney asked, looking at Nathalie who simply shrugged with a smile at her new nickname. He knew that she would be a presence in the twins’ lives, but he didn’t know just how enthusiastic she would be about it.

“Look.” She held up her cast to show Sidney that Nathalie had drawn a little puppy on her pink plaster with an excited smile.

“Very nice.” Sidney nodded, unprepared for all the energy she managed to exhume at nine-thirty in the morning. “Why don’t you watch some more? I’m going to head upstairs.” He instructed, setting her back down on the stool.

“Daddy you not gonna breakfast?” She asked, making him stop his exit. There was that word again, Daddy, and suddenly found himself unable to leave the kitchen. Nathalie gave him a knowing look and tried to keep the grin from her face but failed miserably as the two Irwin clones stared at their father expectantly.

“Okay, I’ll eat.” He said, walking back with a smile as she reached her hands up to him, giggling as he swung her out from under her knees, cradling her like a little baby. When Mario entered the kitchen, his wife along with Emma, Noah, and Sidney were all seated around the island eating pancakes and fruit.

“Mario!” Noah smiled, jumping up and nearly knocking himself over, making Sidney grateful for the grip Natalie had on the back of the toddler’s shirt. Mario smiled with a small laugh; taking the strawberry that Noah was offering him with a toothy smile before popping it in his mouth. Soon, three of the four Lemieux children joined in on the action and Sidney figured that Mario had briefed them on the situation seeing as they asked no questions and took to playing with the twins very quickly.

“Sid, let’s head up to the study.” Mario nodded his head in the direction of the staircase, making Sidney nod in agreement.

“Where you goin’?” Noah asked, suddenly very aware that Sidney was leaving.

“I’m just going upstairs, bud.” Sidney assured. “I’ll be back!” He noticed the toddler’s cheeks turning pink.

“No!” He stomped his foot. “I go, too!” He said, trying to get off of his stool but falling onto the tile floor, pausing for a moment as every adult in the room knew what was coming next. “Ow-ie!” He began to cry, cheeks bright red. “Hurts!” He hiccupped as Sidney stepped in, picking his son up and holding him tightly to his chest.

“Hey now, it’s okay. You’re fine, see?” Sidney asked. “You’re just fine.” He insisted. “You can come with.” He remarked, looking back at Nathalie who said that she would watch Emma who was content pouring more pancakes on the griddle with the squeeze bottle.

Noah was all whimpers and sighs as he held onto the back of Sidney’s neck tightly while they travelled upstairs. Sidney couldn’t believe how tiny a human could get, Noah’s thirty-pound body light in his arms – he marveled at his tiny feet, and tiny toes. He didn’t think he could comprehend just how small they were when they were born.

Sidney took a seat on the small leather couch in Mario’s office across from the big oak desk. Noah settled in his lap, playing with Sidney’s necklace with great interest before Mario could lower himself into the chair behind the desk.

“So how do I go about this?” Sidney asked, holding Noah’s feet in one hand to keep him from wiggling around.

“I think you should call Troy and just tell him what has happened and what is going to happen. He can choose to react to it or not.” Mario stated simply. “Do you want me to sit in?” Sidney nodded as Mario took the phone off of the hook, pressing speakerphone and hitting speed dial number five, Troy Crosby’s cell phone.

It rang only twice before Troy answered.

“Hey there Mario.” He seemed to be in a good mood.

“Hi, Dad.” Sidney spoke up from the couch.

“Sid?” Troy asked. “Breakfast at Mario’s today?” He asked. Troy would never say he was jealous of Mario Lemieux. Not out loud, at least.

“Something’s come up.” Sidney stated firmly, looking to Mario who gave him a nod of assurance. “I have Noah and Emma with me, Dad.” He spoke, causing the other end of the line to go silent.

“You mean… Lana’s kids?” Troy asked, his voice tight and unreadable.

“I mean my kids.” Sidney replied, making Mario grin. “Lana has… passed away.” He trailed, looking down to Noah who laid his head against Sidney’s shoulder and was fiddling with his own fingers. “Noah and Emma are mine now, Dad.” He stated.

“This is going to ruin everything for you, Sidney, think of –“

“You can choose to be a part of their lives or not.” Sidney cut him off, not liking the implication in his father’s voice. His son and daughter weren’t going to ruin anything for him.

“This is terrible, Sidney, you don’t understand.” Sidney could imagine his father now. Red cheeks, the vein in his forehead and the way his face seemed to get puffy when he was especially upset.

“The terrible thing was to keep him from them in the first place.” Mario spoke, making his presence known.

“Mario? Surely you can’t be in support of this.” Troy scoffed.

“Of course I am. What do you suggest Sidney do otherwise? Put them in foster care? You must be out of your mind, Troy. These are your own grandchildren.” Mario frowned. Troy was silent.

“Do what you want, Dad, but this is my life now. You can choose to be a part of it or not.” Sidney stated finally. There was another pregnant silence before the call ended on Troy’s side of the call. Making Sidney look up at Mario before looking down at Noah who beamed at him happily.

“Pancakes?” He asked, bringing light to a heavy situation. Sidney nodded, bringing his lips down to drop a kiss on his son’s curly mop before standing again and leading the three men to the kitchen.

He knew his Dad would come around. Didn’t he want to be a grandpa to his only son’s kids?

•••

“Hello mon ami.” Max Talbot grinned, still harboring his playoff beard as he entered Sidney’s home in Sewickley the next day. “You needed to put me to work the minute the season ended? You have heard of a vacation, non?” He joked, pulling his young friend into a hug seeing as they were both sporting ‘cheap’ clothes. Sidney asked him the previous afternoon to help him paint two rooms in his home that day.

“Come, get a beer.” Sidney ushered his friend into the kitchen of his home, grabbing a brew from the fridge. “There’s something I need to tell you, Talbo. You kind of need to promise not to freak out about it.” Sidney rushed a hand through his hair. He didn’t know why he was more nervous to tell one of his best friends about Emma and Noah than he was his father.

“Is something the matter? Everyone’s alive, right?” Max looked at his captain oddly.

“I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it.” Sidney muttered, making Max brace himself. “I have two kids.” He sputtered. Max eyed the young center for a moment, not saying a word but simply taking in his presence.

“I knew something had to be up with you, mon ami, you could only pull off that virgin Mary, holier-than-thou, goodie two-shoes act for so long. I knew something had to be up.” He rubbed his beard with his fingers, making Sidney giggle in the slightest.

“Well if you’d believe me, I’d pick this over any other kind of problem.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I got a friend of mine pregnant a few years ago and she recently died, so… Emma and Noah are all mine now.” He finished, still getting that sinking feeling in his chest whenever he had to mention that their mother had died.

“Two babies? How old are we talking, Darryl?” Max asked, just in time for Noah to come running through the kitchen, trailing blue footprints behind him as Evgeni Malkin chased the toddler with a booming laugh. Sidney blinked for a moment to wonder if what he just saw actually happened.

“I got him!” Evgeni called, as if that would put Sidney’s nerves to rest upon seeing the tiny blue footprints that now littered his carpet and wood floors.

“Let’s head upstairs and you can meet them.” Sidney insisted, getting off his stool and grabbing his beer as well as two juice boxes from the fridge before following the blue footprints up the staircase.

“Daddy!” Emma squealed excitedly, running with her little paintbrush in hand to Sidney with her arms stretched over her head.

“Hey babe.” He smiled, hoisting her onto his hip, something that came so natural it scared him.

“What you doin’?” She asked, tilting her head curiously, not acknowledging Max’s presence as she wiped her little paintbrush loaded with pink paint onto Sidney’s shirt.

“Emma, this is my friend Max, can you say ‘hello’ to him?” Sidney asked, turning her to face him more head on. Emma looked up to Max’s smiling face and studied him for a moment before reaching forward to stroke his beard with one hand.

“The beard is a lady killer, mon ami.” Max joked as Emma stuck her paintbrush in Sidney’s hand so she could better explore Max’s beard with two hands.

“Why you have hair?” She asked curiously, making both men laugh as Sidney could hear Geno and Noah back to work in his bedroom.

“Do you not like it petite fille?” He asked, making her blink at him with wide eyes like a baby owl.

“What?” She asked, turning to look at Sidney as he and Max split into laughter once again.

“Emma, why don’t you go paint some more? Max and I will watch and then help you in a moment.” Sidney set her back on the ground covered in blue tarp, her bare feet making little patting noises as she ran to her paint bucket.

“Well no DNA testing needed on that one.” Max remarked, reminding Sidney of just how much Emma and Sidney looked alike.

“You haven’t seen anything yet.” Sidney shook his head. “Noah, buddy?” He called. A few moments later, the youngest Crosby twin came running out of his room and stopped to look up at his father.

“Mon Dieu.” Max shook his head at Sidney’s little clone. “That is weird, Sidney, not just coincidence weird, but… weird weird. Il n’ya pas de mots….” Max trailed. And even if Sidney wasn’t quite sure what he had said, he understood the gist of it.

“Who are you?” Noah asked, much more bravely than his sister.

“My name is Max, what’s your name?” Max asked, kneeling down to Noah’s height, grinning upon seeing the toddler dressed in a Penguins t-shirt that served as a smock and dress at the same time.

“Noah,” the toddler replied smartly before reaching up to grab the juice box that was sticking out of Sidney’s pocket. “Juice?” He offered the Frenchman with a thoughtful expression.

“No thank you, I’m trying to cut back.” Max declined, making Sidney grin as Noah opened the pouch with the straw himself and began drinking whatever organic brand Nathalie had bought from the store.

Noah gave the two men one last look before letting the juice box hang from his mouth and hold his arms up to Sidney.

“Tired?” Sidney asked, stroking Noah’s dark mop away from his eyes as the toddler nodded, resting his head against Sidney’s shoulder. Noah nodded, some of his dark wisps highlighted with specks of blue paint.

“Jesus he looks just like you.” Max commented, making the toddler look at him oddly. “You look just like your Daddy.” He grinned at the little boy. Noah lifted his head from Sidney’s shoulder to get a good look at his Father’s face. Scrunching his face cutely, he shook his head before letting out a high-pitched giggle.

“Yep, just like your Dad.”