Summer Waves and Crashing Days

My heart dropped when he said the words, and tears filled my eyes.

Dr. Richard got the clue to leave me alone, and left leaving nothing behind but the lingering touch of a pat on my shoulder.

I rested my hand on the doorknob, and leaned my head up against the outside of the door, trying to calm myself.

She’d be okay. I couldn’t lose hope.

I took a deep breath, in and out, and turned the knob on the door. I quietly opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it noiselessly behind me. I honestly didn’t know why I was doing this, she couldn’t hear it.

Then, I turned towards her bed, her curtain still covering her body.

For some reason, it seemed my body was stuck there, frozen in time as I became more and more afraid of what I might find laying there.

What if they had all lied? What if she died? What if she was gone?

I sighed, chastising myself for thinking all of these thoughts.

I would round that corner and see the girl that I am in love with sleeping soundlessly and I would stand by her side no matter what.

With courage flooding my veins due to the love I harbored for Sophia, I rounded the corner of the curtain and tears began to fall down my cheeks.

Sophia laid there, face bruised black and blue, her arm was in a small sling since she had probably dislocated it slightly, and her feet were bandaged up from being burned. But the worst injury, the worst of all, was the white gauze that was completely wrapped around her head.

I immediately went to the other side of the room and stood there, next to her, taking her hand in mine and stroking it oh so lightly.

Sophia just lay there, looking as peaceful as ever, having no clue as to what is going on in the outside world.

Water overflowed my eyes and tears fell down my cheeks, and they didn’t stop. Tears fell down my face to the constant rhythm of the beeping of Sophia’s heart, each tear landing on Sophia’s limp hand as I held it to my lips, kissing it repeatedly. Each tear landed on her hand, and then made the dive down her elevated arm, all sliding their way down until they were soaked up by the sleeve of her hospital gown.

Still silently crying, I moved her hand from my lips, to press it to my heart, wanting oh so badly for her to take my healthy heart beat, wanting her to take my life, as long as it meant that she was awake and alive and happy.

While holding her hand to my heart with right hand, I let the other hand fall down onto the bed beside her. I let my fingers trail up her arm and past her shoulder until my thumb was gently stroking the black and blue that took over her cheek. My touch was as light as a whisper, and gentle as a breeze so as not to hurt her more than she already was.

As more and more tears fell down my cheeks, now just simply landing on the bed, I let myself fall in love with her all over again. I just stood there next to her, studying her beautiful features. Bruised or not, asleep or not, near death or not, she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, and I knew that I would always see her that way. My fingers lightly traced the outline of her jaw, down one side and up the other, until finally my fingertips brushed the beginning of the white gauze. The cut must have been just above her hairline, because that’s where the gauze was most concentrated. Ignoring her bandage, I let my thumb trail down her cheek again until it rested near her lips, where I outlined the peeks and valleys of her soft satin lips.

I gently moved her hand from my heart, to let it rest on the mattress beside her, and moved my hand to cup her face more securely, leaning down and ever so gently touching my lips to hers.

I wasn’t sure if that was allowed or not, but I didn’t really care.

My reason for existence was here, fragile as ever, broken nearly beyond repair, and hibernating against her will, stealing kisses seemed the least of our worries.

And as I leaned up, off of her lips, hovering just above her, my new tears slipped off of my face and onto hers.I gently brushed them away with my thumb. An angel shouldn’t cry.

Then a thought crossed my mind.

And more tears landed on her cheeks.

How had we gotten here?

How had time passed so quickly and violently?

How had the love of my life come to be here, hurt, broken?

But more importantly, why?

As I gently buried my face into her neck, my head resting on her chest, I realized that I had no answers. New tears fell down my cheeks, more rapid this time, and absolutely soaked her neck, as I pleaded with God to tell me why.

As I pleaded with God to tell me why he had hurt her, instead of me.