Chasing Forever

Sometimes I wonder how I got here. I mean, just a year and half ago everything was fine. Life was perfect. Or maybe it just seemed perfect because you were in it. Or maybe it was perfect because you were in it. Either way, you’re not anymore and life, I’m learning, is never fair.

I bet you couldn’t have foreseen this. No, not even you could’ve predicted that I’d befriend my worst enemy. Or that she’d become my absolute best friend. Not even you, who knew everything there is to know about life, who knew both of us better than we knew ourselves, could’ve predicted this.

You are the biggest part of us, her and me. You had the pleasure of stealing both of our hearts. And once you had them, there was no turning back. No matter how hard we tried.
I think back to those seven short months that you were mine and wonder how I could’ve been so stupid. Yes, I had you in the palm of my hand, yes, you made every aspect of my simple little life into something amazing. But I let you go and of this I am constantly aware.

There is not a day that this thought does not pass my mind and sometimes the weight of this mistake is unbearable. But, then again, almost everything about our story is.

And then there’s her. The person I despised for nearly two years. The girl that had everything I ever wanted and was smart enough to keep it. My worst enemy. My best friend. Her. She loved you too. Everyone did.

Which takes me right back into wondering how we got here. Can you tell me? Because I still don’t know. But I am learning and so is she. And some days we even teach other a little bit about the one thing that brought us together. And the one thing that tears us apart. You.