New To The Feeling

Saturday morning I woke up slowly enjoying the warm light shining through my window. I rubbed my eyes and to my surprise, I could see the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars pasted on my ceiling. I sat up and looked around. I squealed loudly, then covered my mouth. That wasn’t supposed to be out loud.

I wandered down the stairs wearing a skimpy pair of work out shorts and a tank top. My father, mother and sister were all in the kitchen talking about her upcoming hockey game. I skipped up to my mom and hugged her.

“What is this for, love?” She tilted her head and embraced me.

“I can see again!” I squeaked with a huge smile on my face.

“Princess, don’t you think you could wear something more decent?” My father protested while glaring somewhere behind me. Someone cleared their throat.

I turned quickly standing face to face with Wylie. Well, it was more like my face to his chest, but you get the idea. I stuttered over my words while my mom intervened.

“Oh, hun, you should be in bed! I don’t want you getting up and hurtin’ yourself and such. What do you need?” My mother rambled off a million options for breakfast as she lead Wylie back into the guestroom. I doubled over laughing and panting, not sure whether to be humiliated or hysterical.

“I completely forgot her was here!” I said, mostly directing it at Felicity.

“I see that.” She replied cleverly with her mouth half full.

I skipped my way back to my room. I’m not sure what put me in such a good mood today, but I was certainly feeling free from all the emotional chains I had been lugging around for the passed few months. I took a quick shower and changed into something cute. Of course, ‘cute’ in my terms is simply jeans and a t-shirt, but it didn’t matter.

Ring, ring, RIIIIINNNNGGGG…

I nearly jumped out of my skin as my phone rang. I snatched it up and answered before I could see who was calling.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” A voice came through the speaker. I pulled the phone away so I could see the name.

“Hi, Jake? What are you calling for?” I said curiously.

“What? Your friends can’t call you?” Oh, friends, right.

“Yes, my friends can call me,” I paced around the room uneasily, “ whatcha want?”

“I’m going go kart racing with a couple of friends tonight, I wanted to extend the invite.”

“Oh, well, what time? Felix has a hockey game at three. It won’t be done until six or seven and I need to stay here for Wylie while no one’s home.” I kicked some clothes that were laying on my floor.

“You on nurse duty?” I giggled at this comment. I knew he was just playing… Why is he playing? Usually he would have said something not so playful. What changed?

“Yeah, kinda.” I responded.

“Well, that’s fine. We’re not going until nine. The place closes at two in the morning anyway. Ya think your parents will go for that?” He was being so friendly I practically forgot about all the drama that had gone down just a few weeks before.

“Yeah, probably. Hey, ya think I could bring Felix? I think she’d enjoy it.”

“Oh, sure. I’ll talk to you later, though. The guys are putting on an ultimate frisbee game.” I could hear some guys yelling in the background.

Jake and I exchanged goodbyes and hung up. I finished my make-up and fluffed my hair before heading downstairs.

“Hey, Felicity!” I yelled as I hopped down the stairs.

“What?!” She yelled from the family room. The television was on.

“Wanna come with me and some friends go karting after your game?” I leaned over her from behind the couch. She looked at me curiously.

“Are you sick, Sky?” She sat up and felt my forehead and I batted it away.

“No I’m not sick, you loser.” I hopped over the couch, almost tripping.

“Uh, yeah, I guess I’ll go.” Felicity stared blankly at the TV a moment before taking another look at me, “You sure you’re not sick?”

“I’m not sick, Felicity!”

A moment of silence passed as we watched the strange plot line of a Spongebob episode.

“Ya know,” I began, “you could invite Adam when you see him at the game.”

Felicity whipped her head around and pierced me with her big eyes. No one else was in the room, so it isn’t like I was giving away the secret. I suppose she just didn’t expect it.

“Oh c’mon,” I nudged her, “you know you want to!”

She giggled a bit, “If I get the chance, I’ll ask him.”

I clapped my hands and rushed out of the room. My bubbly alter-ego was showing and I really didn’t know why. I jogged past Wylie’s room. I stopped just after it and leaned back to look in. He was sleeping now, but I know we’d end up talking while no one else was around.

***

My family left the house at 2PM. It took about a half hour to reach the ice rink and the players needed to be there early for warming up. I wandered around the house aimlessly, picking up things and putting them in random places. Ha! My mom will be so weirded out when these pictures are all in the wrong places.

THUMP!

I instinctively ran to the guestroom. Wylie was sitting on the floor next to the bed. He had one hand on his forehead and the other on his stomach. He looked sick. I reached down and helped him sit on the side of the bed. Oh god, he’s gonna throw up.

“Need help making it to the bathroom?” I asked wearily, hoping he would say no.

“Yeah, thanks.” He responded.

I helped him into the bathroom and backed off. I didn’t want to be waiting outside while he was in there doing, well, whatever it was he was doing. Moments later he emerged from the bathroom, looking a much healthier shade of pink than before he went in. I helped him back to the bed, where he sat with his back against the headboard.

“You need anything?” I asked.

“Uh, water.” He responded weakly.

I left the room to retrieve water. I leaned over the sink and murmured to myself.

“I feel terrible… what have I done… I haven’t done anything… ah, forget it!”

I brought the water back and entered the room softly.

“Thanks,” he said as he took the glass, “the vicodin makes me sick. I think I’m gonna stop taking it.”

“As long as you’re not in pain it doesn’t matter.” I tried to be encouraging, but I really knew nothing of the situation.

I began to leave the room, but Wylie grabbed my arm before I could even get a foot from the bed. I turned to face him. His eyes were a bit paler than usual. His head had been shaved where the incision was made. Some hair was growing in… dusty blonde. Who knew he had blonde hair?

“I’m sorry.” He repeated himself.

“Stop it,” I pulled away, “stop apologizing! You didn’t do anything.”

“Not about that,” he began, “about Jake.”

“What about Jake?”

“I… I got in the way. I caused problems.” Wylie didn’t seem to know how to articulate the feelings he was having.

“It wasn’t your fault. Jake and I, well, this was a long time coming.” I held my face sternly.

“I’m just not used to this,” he paused and thought out his next move, “I’m new to these feelings I’m having.”

“What feelings?” I wanted to know, but I didn’t.

“I don’t know. I’m so used to being guarded, thanks to my stepfather, and independent, thanks again to my stepfather, and lonely, thanks to my mother. Well, no. That came out wrong. I’d never blame my mother for anything.” He shut his mouth and quit looking at me.

I took hold of his hand and waited for eye contact, “You’re safe here and you can let your guard down here and you are welcome here and you never have to be lonely again.” I smiled a brief smile. “I’m gonna make myself dinner, is there anything you want?”

“No, whatever is fine.”

I left the room feeling defeated, but somehow liberated.