Scared and Confused ©

“Let us try that again, but this time slow and with someone holding on to you.” Dr. Hillsboro says.

Mason walks over and puts his arm around my waist.

“Ready to get up.” He asked with care.

I slowly start sliding off the bed and let my feet touch the cold linoleum floor. I get shivers down my spine. My knees almost give out but I catch myself. I slowly step forward, everyone is around me incase I fall. I take another step, and my legs seem to gain strength. I walk to the door and walk back to my bed; everyone is shocked.

“Well it seems like you can walk again,” Said Dr. Hillsboro, “Will let you go in a few hours, just remember no screwing around, like no sports and no fighting, stuff like that; got it.”

“Yes, thank you so much Dr. Hillsboro.” I replied smiling.
I sit back down on my bed with Mason, as he holds me in his arms. Aden walks over to the table and grabs something.

“Here… call your mom tell her you’re coming home and you need clothes.” He says handing me my phone and snickering.

A few minutes pass after I call my mom and she’s there with a bag and a huge smile on her face. I get up and walk to her, hugging her like I’ve never hugged her before, and she hugs back like it’s her first time holding me. Even though I hurt, I ignore the pain. She hands me the bag and I head to the bathroom to shower and dress. I walk out and I feel like I’ve interrupted a very important conversation.

“What were you guys talking about?” I said without having control over it.

“Um, nothing Hadiya.” Answered my mom.

I know from the expression on Masons face that it was something serious. I slowly walk over to him, slowly sit down and stare him in the eyes. He knows I want to know what was being said, but he also shows that he won’t give in.

“Mason what was it?” I asked in a calm voice but you can hear a tiny bit of anger in it.

“Hun it’s not the time to tell you right now.” He says taking his hand and smoothing my cheek with his fingers.

I pull away and walk out the door. I was sick of being left out. Sick of not knowing anything. I got out the hospital door and jumped into my mom’s car; good thing I took her keys. I know I shouldn’t be driving but I needed out of here. I start driving. I remember hearing where they buried my brother, that’s where I go. I get there and I walk and walk until it’s just a few feet in front of me. I’m frozen, still trying to make this reality. I still couldn’t except that he was gone. I slowly start walking up to the grave and I fall to my knees.

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” I muttered.

“And I can’t believe you drove with the condition you’re in.” He smirked.

I turn my head and Aden is kneeling down beside me. I fall into him and start bawling. He would always know where I was, I was thankful for that right now. I didn’t want to be alone sitting here in front of my brother’s grave. I knew I needed someone here to hold me. Aden pushes my hair out of my face and whispers, “Hadiya what everyone was talking about in the room, it was about a letter they found,” I lift my head and look at him with my puffy red eyes. “He wrote a letter to you that seemed like it was from a few years ago, I think it was trying to think of a good time to give it to you.” He continued handing me the letter. I hold it in my hands looking at the way he wrote my name on the front. It reminded me of all the times we would pass notes in class or at home when we were grounded to our rooms. I missed his writing and then I started to cry again, knowing that my note passing days with him were over. Aden pulls my face up to his so I’m looking hi straight in the eyes. “Hadiya listen, he’s not gone, he never will be, all you have to do is look back on your memories and he will still always be with you.” He said rubbing my arm.

“Are you going to read the letter?” He asked.

I shake my head. “No not yet, I will when the time is right, when I’m supposed to finally read it.”

Aden and I start walking back to the cars and my mom is standing there with a very stern look on her face. I know she doesn’t want to yell at me or do anything right now but she doesn’t hold back. “Hadiya why did you have to do that, thankful of Aden to know where you are or where you go all the time or I would never know where you went.” She said grabbing me and hugging me. I can feel her tears soaking my shirt, I know she’s crying about my brother, her son, her only son that she raised herself with the help of my father.