Temptation

The place I had chosen was dark and hiden away behind a waterfall that had yet to be found. The little sliver of a trail that led up to the cave was virtually invisible unless you knew what you were looking for. I sometimes wondered if "God" knew about it. After all, he claimed that he knew everything. But if he knew about it, he never came to torment me while I was there.

The rocks were cool and wet under my feet as I clutched the rocks pressing against my stomach and breasts. The edges were rough and scratched my skin at times, but I preferred it to the bruises that "Adam" left when he managed to pin me down and touch me. I had managed to avoid that for the past week now. I knew I wasn't going to be able to for much longer though. He seemed to have this incessant need to touch me and to stick his fingers and "little friend" (as he called it) inside of me. I had other names for it that he had beat me for when he had heard them.

I slipped into the cave, my bare soles and toes clutching at the rocks at my feet. Safe. I felt safe now. I could breath and my stomach began to unclench. "God" couldn't find me here. He couldn't touch me. And neither could "Adam" or the SNAKES. I got onto my knees and pressed my forehead against the ground.

I wanted to send a silent thanks to someone or something. I always felt as if there was something watching over me. There had to be some reason that I could make it through a situation that was clearly dangerous and should have been impossible. But, who was I supposed to thank? "God" said that he had created all and that he was all. I certainly wasn't going to thank him. I wanted him dead.

If "God" could die.

Tears bit at my eyes as I clenched them shut. I hated this world. I hated this life. I didn't wan any of it. I didn't feel like I was meant for it. I never had felt it. My tears began to press harder. Cries started to press at my throat until they clawed their way out in painful sobs. This was wrong. This wasn't how life should be. I didn't know much I know, but I knew that. Sometimes I thought about killing myself and ending it all, but I didn't have the strength for that.

I would find another way out one day I promised myself.

I just didn't know when that day would be.