I've Got A Problem

It’s been a little over three months since I got engaged and I love it. When I left for practice this morning I whistled on my way to the car. Fucking whistled. And now I’m rolling into the locker room fucking humming. I hate to say but this whole getting married thing is working for me. Now, I just have to break the news to Bergy that our bromance has to come to an end. The only person that needs to be lusting after this body is Scout.

“Listen Bergy, I’m sorry to say that our bromance has to stop. I am officially off the market. You guys know that Scout and I are getting married. I hope you’re not too broken up about it. You had to know this would happen sometime.” All the talk in the locker room stops when I make my announcement. It’s really hard to try and keep a straight face.

“Umm, Looch I’m pretty sure our supposed ‘bromance’ was a figment of your imagination. I mean I know I have a sexy accent and killer body, but you’re too Quasimodo for me.” Of course the boys get a laugh out of that. So what if my nose is a little crooked?

“Oh, you’re a funny guy. But in all seriousness, Scout and I want to get married pretty quick – and no, she’s not pregnant so don’t you dare start with that shit. We want you all to be there. It would mean the world to us.” I’m not gonna lie, I’d love to have kids with Scout, just not in the near future. My body has to get past the shock of me being a one woman man before it can start producing mini Looches. And let’s face it the world ain’t ready for that.

“Oh boy I can see it now. Little Quasimodo look a likes running around everywhere. They’d be little ankle biters for sure.” I throw my water bottle at Bergy’s face and start getting dressed for practice. I just have to make it through morning skate and then I can get home to Scout. She’d had to reschedule her missed doctor’s appointment for today and I’m pretty anxious to get home and make sure she’s okay. She hadn’t been acting sick or I would’ve picked up on it.

Pretty soon I’m out on the ice with the boys joking around and running drills. Technically our morning skate is supposed to last about an hour and a half but by some miracle we make it out in forty five minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever showered and changed as I did. Twenty minutes after leaving the arena I’m pulling into my designated parking space at the apartment complex and hoofing it up the stairs two at a time.

I slide my key into the lock and throw the door open pausing to throw my wallet, phone, and key ring on the table in the hallway.

“Scout! You home, babe?” I pause and listen for any sounds of movement in the small apartment. When I don’t hear her yell back I move into the bedroom to change into some sweats. After I change into my sweatpants and an old Vancouver Giants t shirt I flop down on the bed and turn on the TV.

Nothing on ESPN, nothing on Versus, nothing on at all. That was a total bust. I pick up my phone and dial Liv’s number hoping that she’s out of her appointment and on her way home.

“Hey! It’s Olivia. Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.”

There’s nothing I hate more than leaving people voicemails, so I disconnect and resume my channel surfing. I perk up when I hear a key in the lock of the front door.

“Yes, of course I said yes Mom. I know that, and you will meet him. I promise. Well, I don’t know. We’d like to get married pretty soon, at least before the season starts back up in full swing. We’d like to enjoy a little ‘us’ time, you know? Alright, I love you, too. Kiss Dad for me. Bye.”
She grumbles under her breath like she always does when she gets off the phone with her mom and i hear her making her way into the bedroom.

“Hey, baby, how was morning skate?” She pauses long enough to give me a quick kiss and then moves into the closet.

“It was okay. We got out a bit early today, and I had to officially end my bromance with Bergy. He wasn’t too happy about it. I mean his eye candy is officially off the market. Sucks to be him, you know?” Olivia laughs at my antics and comes back out of the closet in pair of my sweatpants and a tank top.

“How was your doctor’s appointment?” She looks at me and walks around to the side of the bed.

“Well, I think you should sit down.” Oh Jesus, I’m pretty sure my heart just dropped into my stomach. Nothing good ever comes out of ‘I think you should sit down’. Nothing. At all. At this point I’m bracing myself for the worst, but what comes out of her mouth completely surprises me.

“You’ve thought about kids, right? I mean having them with me?” Dumbly, I nod. Call me stupid, but I’m not exactly sure where this is going.

“Well, did you want to have them right away or wait a little bit or what?” Clearing my throat, I look down at my hands before speaking.

“I thought that we’d wait a little bit. I mean once you have kids it changes things. I’d like to have you to myself for awhile. Once we have kids we won’t have legitimate ‘us’ time for another 18 or so years.”

“Oh, well. I’m afraid we won’t have that luxury.”

“What? Obviously, I’m not connecting the dots here. What are you saying?” She reaches down into a shopping bag and hands me something. It’s some sort of t shirt. I unfold it and damn near pass out at what it says.

‘Daddy pulled the goalie.’ Fuck.