Status: Re-writing / Editing of material when 13.
Why Is This So Unbearable
Awake,
I wake up in a sweat, remembering that dreadful day. And then, I realized my face was pouring out with blood again! Man I wish I could sleep without fucking my body up with these goddamned things. I hate it! All my nerves have been connected to the blades so I can't just remove them!
Why did this happen to me? Why?
I turn and see the clock. The time is 7:00 in the morning. Oh, that is the time I would be getting up and readying myself for school. If I hadn't blocked myself off from this dreadful world! But at least now I know I can never bring anyone pain again because I'm in my cozy little basement!
But still I have the undying need of human touch. And human love and care! Oh how I wish this never happened to me, but I suppose it was better to happen to me-the loner kid that no-one cared about-rather than someone that is loved.
I mean, imagine it. Say you have two sons. One you love dearly and one you despise. Now, which one would you prefer to be kidnapped, raped, tormented and to have his hands cut off? Well, obviously you would want the one you don't like to be in pain rather than the one you love dearly. Also I'd rather it happen to me rather than Mikey. Oh how I miss Mikey, but he is so much safer without me there. Oh the last time I saw my brother, I hit him with my blades and accidentally cut his face. I didn't mean to, but he was being so mean!
"Aww fuck now I'm crying!"
I wish I never screamed. If I didn't scream and try to fight off my tormentor, this would never have happened. I would have real hands, but no. I had to be a pussy. I had to scream for help when he was entering me! I should've handled it. I mean he was only taking my virginity away!
Why did this happen to me? Why?
I turn and see the clock. The time is 7:00 in the morning. Oh, that is the time I would be getting up and readying myself for school. If I hadn't blocked myself off from this dreadful world! But at least now I know I can never bring anyone pain again because I'm in my cozy little basement!
But still I have the undying need of human touch. And human love and care! Oh how I wish this never happened to me, but I suppose it was better to happen to me-the loner kid that no-one cared about-rather than someone that is loved.
I mean, imagine it. Say you have two sons. One you love dearly and one you despise. Now, which one would you prefer to be kidnapped, raped, tormented and to have his hands cut off? Well, obviously you would want the one you don't like to be in pain rather than the one you love dearly. Also I'd rather it happen to me rather than Mikey. Oh how I miss Mikey, but he is so much safer without me there. Oh the last time I saw my brother, I hit him with my blades and accidentally cut his face. I didn't mean to, but he was being so mean!
"Aww fuck now I'm crying!"
I wish I never screamed. If I didn't scream and try to fight off my tormentor, this would never have happened. I would have real hands, but no. I had to be a pussy. I had to scream for help when he was entering me! I should've handled it. I mean he was only taking my virginity away!