And You're Just What I Need...

Three months to the wedding and it seems like everything needs to get down. Although that’s not even close to being true, most of the things are finished. We’ve got the venue, food, cake, dresses, people, invitations and registry all taken care of. Now there’s the table settings, flowers, and rsvps to get received.

But at the moment, there are bigger things going on in my head. Things like, am I pregnant or not. Actually, that’s pretty much it. For a woman who never misses a period, and has been on a pretty constant period since she was fifteen, missing one is a pretty big deal. It’s been almost two weeks since I was supposed to have one, and as you can see, I gave it that ‘oops’ time too. It still didn’t come.

So, that’s why I’m sitting in a doctors office at the moment, waiting for the answer. Any answer. Of course Adam doesn’t know anything about this. No one knows anything. I wasn’t going to say a word until I got the answers.

The door behind me opened and my doctor came in with papers in his hand. I was holding my breath, “well, Mrs. Richards, it looks like you had a miscarriage.”

“oh thank God!” I breath out.

The doctor chuckles a little, “not ready for a kid?”

“uh, already have one, don’t need another at the moment.”

“well, like I said, you were pregnant and now your not! Although there’s a lot more science stuff that goes on with that, but that’s the jiff of it.” He explains.

“well, thank you. I really needed that answer.”

“no problem.”

I called Adam the instant I got back to the house. Finn and Dakota were out looking at flowers and Katelyn was on a date with Nick. So it would be the perfect time to tell him.

I hear the other line pick up and before he can say anything I speak, “Adam, I need you to come home.”

“emergency come home or not so much of an emergency come home.”

What if it was an emergency? He just wasted his time asking me that, “um, I need to tell you something important and no one is home except me.”

“oh, okay. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“great.”

I made me some lunch then, since I hadn’t had food since early morning and was quite hungry. Coffee at doctors offices don’t fulfill hunger needs while waiting for hours. The front door opens and I perk up, expecting it to be Adam, although that would have been a really fast drive home.

“Julie! Nick and I are going to watch a movie!” Katelyn calls.

Shit. I walk into the hallway and pull out twenty-five dollars, handing it to her, “go to the theaters and watch something.” I say.

“but-“

“Kate, now.”

“but-“

“I’m serious, you guys can’t be here right now.”

“fine.” She says. Nick was laughing the whole time, obviously not caring what they did.

They left and just as they opened the door, Adam walked in. “oh, I see how it is. You could have just told me you know, you didn’t have to push us out the door like you-“ I close the door on her.

“bye.” I say. Adam looks down at me weirdly, “hey.” I say, smiling sweetly.

“hey...” he replies, hesitating.

“oh don’t freak out so much, it’s nothing bad.” I tell him, walking back into the kitchen where my food was.

He sits down next to me, “why did you just practically shove them out the door?”

“oh, because what I’m about to tell you isn’t exactly any of their business…yet.”

Adam looked worried, making me want to laugh, “will you just tell me?!”

“before I do, just promise you won’t freak out.”

“can’t exactly promise that Julie.”

I sigh, “fine. Whatever. I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I-“

Adam had the need to interrupt me I guess, “you’re pregnant?!?!”

“what? Adam. Seriously, let me finish the sentence. Okay, like I was saying. I had a miscarriage.”

“oh.”

“yeah. So you’re right, at some point I was pregnant, but I’m not anymore. I just thought you should know that happened.” I explain.

He was silent for a second, “just so you know, if you were pregnant I wouldn’t have left or anything.”

I smile, “good to know. But lets just be glad I’m not, okay?”

“okay.” He still seemed a little out of it. “you were really pregnant?”

“I was.”

“it just makes me wonder, what would our babies look like?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I bet they’d look like Katelyn, but with lighter skin.” I say, describing Katie.

“you know…we have the whole place to ourselves…” Adam points out, moving closer to me.

I lean in and press my lips against his. The dinger on the oven goes off and we separate, “cookies.” I say. I get up and Adam follows close behind. I pull out the batch of cookies and scoop some from the bowl, eating it.

“is it good?” Adam asks.

“mmm, why don’t you find out yourself.” I say seductively. I picked more up with my finger and licked off the delicious substance. Before I could swallow, Adam captured my lips with his, opening them and gaining entrance.

After getting a good amount of the dough, Adam separates his lips from mine and slides them down my neck. I was pushed up against the counter now, breathing hard. “lets go upstairs.” Adam whispers in my ear and a nod slightly. Before I knew it I was lifted bridal style in his arms and we were moving toward the stairs. My lips were trailing up and down his neck when I heard the door open and a bag drop.

Adam froze on the stairs and I peeked over his shoulder to see a grinning Finn and Dakota. Adam turned around, bonking my head on the wall, “ow.” I say, instantly putting one of my hands there. This made Finn laugh.

“shit, sorry.” Adam apologizes to me.

“did we interrupt something?” Finn finally asks, knowing the answer. All he got was glares in return.

“can you set me down, I need to get some ice on this.” Adam does so and I slowly walk back down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dakota followed.

“is this what you two do whenever we’re gone?”

“no. he came home because I had some news and one thing led to another… it was just a plus that the house was empty.”

“what’s the news?” I look at her after getting the ice. She deserved to know about it, since she doesn’t even know I have a kid.

“I, uh, had a miscarriage.” I tell her.

“you what?! But, but that means you had to be pregnant…” she trailed off.

“yeah. That is what it means. I just found out a couple hours ago or I would have told you sooner.”

“so you just find out that you were pregnant and you guys start on another a kid?” a toss a piece of ice at her, “kidding!”

“did you guys find flowers?”

“we did. For each table there will be boqeuts of white flowers and each will have a red rose in the middle.”

“that’ll be pretty.”

“I’m hoping.”

“it will be gorgeous Dakota,” I reassure her.

She grins, “you know, Finn and I can leave if you guys want to continue…”

“it’s fine, my head kind of hurts too much now to get into it.” I say, laughing.

“oh, hey, what did your brother send you?”

I had forgotten about that. It wasn’t actually from my brother, it was from Jenny, but still. There was a long note in there, rant I guess, and then pictures from my trip to Italy.

“oh, Jenny was just fussing and Katie sent a ‘my family’ picture she drew in school” I lie.

“that’s sweet.” I nod. “when do finn and I get to meet this Nick kid?”

“well, if you guys stick around, then tonight.”

“oh, we’ll be there.” She says and walk out of the room and I follow.

Adam was at my side the moment I walked into the living room, “you okay?” he asks, worried sounding.

“I’m fine, just a small bump on the head.” I reply, giving him a reassuring smile.

Adam left to go back to work shortly after and Finn was on the phone with his mom on some long conversation about manners.

“finally some girl time.” Dakota sighs, sitting on my bed next to me.

“agreed, it’s been too long.”

She turns on some music, putting it on low, and goes back to talking, “I swear Adam’s going to propose like any day now.”

I laugh nervously, “I highly doubt that Dakota. We’ve only been dating for like three months now.”

“and all it takes is one day.” She says.

I shove her lightly, “you’re just on a love high because you’re getting married soon.”

“I am, huh?”

“and to a great guy.” I comment.

“I guess.”

“don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet already.”

“when was I ever good at settling down Julie?” she counters. Dakota had a point, this was the closest she’d gotten to real commitment basically her whole life.

“okay, so never. But you love Finn and he loves you. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“in three months I’m to be married to a gorgeous rich guy and you’re telling me there is nothing to worry about?”

“He’s not going to cheat on you Dakota. Sheesh, you know better than that.”

“but there will be women…”

“there will be women with any guy. Do you think it’s easy dating Adam?”

“I guess you have a point.”

“want to see something slightly creepy?” I ask her.

“does it have to do with me?”

“no, completely me.” I say.

“okay then.” I pull out my diary that I had tucked under my mattress. I flipped through the pages in the beginning and showed it to Dakota. It was of 2001, when we were thirteen. Dakota burst out laughing when she read through it. The day it was on, we had been playing MASH at a sleepover. Supposedly, I was going to live in a mansion with a guy named Adam who drives a sports car and makes tons of money as a mailman.

“holy shit!” she screams, “it’s like, your life! Except being a mailman isn’t his dream.”

“no, I don’t think it is. But hey, I’ve never asked him, so that could possibly be his lifelong dream.”

“lets hope not.”

There was a tap on the door and Dakota rolls her eyes, “so much for girl time.” She gracefully hops off my bed and walks over to the door, opening it to reveal Finn.

“want the good news first, or bad?” he asks Dakota, letting himself in.

she glances over at me and I shrug, “bad.”

“I have to hire an etiquette teacher for you.” he breaks to her.

“so what’s the good?”

“oh, there wasn’t really any. I was just going to make something up if you chose that.”

“my manners are not that bad,”

“I know sweetie, but my mom doesn’t exactly see that.” Finn says, “so, I made a deal with her.” This made me laugh, “you have one last chance to prove that you’ll be able to control yourself at a business event. There’s a charity auction with a lot of very important people there to meet. If you do good there, then we won’t need a teacher.”

“I suck at tests.” She comments, slinking down against the wall.

“you’ll pull it off. I know you will.”

“when’s the auction?” I ask, curious now.

“next weekend.” My eyes widen, “I know, I know. But with your help, she’ll be ship-shaped for the auction, right?”

“of course. Piece of cake.” I say, “We wouldn’t, say, be able to use duct tape, would we?”

Dakota glared over at me, and then smiled. “wanna see something totally awesome?” she asks Finn.

“uh, sure…” he hesitates. I didn’t know what she was talking about until she ran over and grabbed my diary from the bed. Great.

“I swear Adam and her are soulmates. Look!” she hands him the notebook and points to the game of MASH we played years ago.

A smile spreads across Finns face as he glances up at me and then back down at the sheet, “damn girl, you got him down to the eye color.”

“I know.”

“even the whole dream job.”

Dakota jerks her head at me and then at Finn, “WHAT?!” we freak at the same time.

Finn laughs, “yeah, he’s always wanted to be a mailman in Norway. They’re allowed to carry swords with them while working, you know, in case a robber attacks or whatever.”

“that’s just…” I start.

“sad.” Dakota finishes.

“but at the same time awesome.” Finn hands the notebook back to me.

“anyways,” he says, changing the subject, “Adam told me you were pregnant?”

“emphasis on were.” I say, “miscarriage. And I didn’t think he would tell you.”

“there aren’t exactly secrets in this house if you haven’t figured that out again.”

“yeah, kind of figured.” I say. Even though Finn and I both knew there were. Some things, sadly, I couldn’t tell Dakota. Not yet, and maybe not ever.