And You're Just What I Need...

My phone blares at 3 AM. I groan and pick it up.

“hello?”

“I’m sorry.” It was Dakota. Great.

“yeah. You should be.”

“I just-the fear of him-I don’t know. I had to get out!”

“where are you Cody? I’ll come pick you up.” I say, already changing into a pair of jeans. There was a long pause, “cody?”

“um, I’m in Washington.” She says.

“as in you’re back home?”

“yes.” I drop the phone and it bounces a few times before stopping. “Juliana!?” I hear her on the other end but can’t move. She didn’t just run away for a day. She ran away for good. I finally find the energy to move and pick up the phone.

“what the hell are you thinking Dakota!? Seriously I’ve seen you do some pretty stupid shit but this has got to be some of the worst! Do you know he’s been worried about you since like noon yesterday and when we finally got him to get to bed he was almost crying!? No, you wouldn’t, because you’re fucking across the country!”

“I just couldn’t do it with-“

“no, you get your damn ass back over here and explain it to him yourself!” I press end and throw my phone across the room before banging my body against the wall. How could she do this?

I realize after about two minutes that it was too quiet. I look over at my door and see Finn and Adam standing there, watching for what I would do next.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble, sliding down the wall and putting my face into my hands. I was supposed to have more control of things. Especially of Dakota. I should have known better this morning, and when she wasn’t calling. I should have seen the signs.

Adam came over and carefully wrapped his arms around me. Finn walked away then and I didn’t ask where he was going.

The next day it was quiet in the house. No one spoke a word about anything. We were all just waiting for that front door to open and for Dakota to walk in with an explanation.

I was making a cup of Coffee and Adam and Finn were sitting at the table reading the newspaper when the door opens. We all freeze and turn to it. Katelyn was standing there looking at us confused.

“um, hi?”

I was the only on to respond, “morning Kate, how was Ashleys?” I ask.

She looked at her brother and Finn, still lost. “uh, good. Hey, is Dakota around? I need to ask her something about the dress.”

The mention of Dakotas name wasn’t exactly what needed to be heard. Finn got up and left the room while Adam ignored the question and went back to his newspaper. Great, it was left to me once again.

“she isn’t here.” I answer.

“oh, do you know when she’ll be back? It’s kind of important…”

“she left.” I say more clearly.

Katelyn stares at me for a moment and then the words make sense to her, “she left?”

I nod my head slowly. “but-but she can’t leave! That’s not fair to Finn or you or-“ she stops mid sentence and runs to her room. I sigh and make a second cup of coffee, handing one to Adam and keeping the other for myself.

I tuck my knees under my chin and sip at my coffee while watching Adam.

After about five minutes I feel the need to break the silence. “Hey Adam?” I say to get his attention. He looks out from behind the paper, “I think we should talk.”

I hear him sigh and then he refolds the paper and sets it down on the table.

“what’s going on between us?” I flat-out ask. Why play around the subject?

“what do you mean?” he replies as if he was totally clueless. Which I knew he wasn’t.

I set down the cup of coffee, “I mean you haven’t spoken a word to me since our fight last night. What gives?”

I could tell this conversation wasn’t going to be easy for him, but I knew he’d stick through with it, especially if he still wanted to be with me.

“isn’t it obvious that I’m mad?”

“yes. In the beginning it was. But I know you’re not mad at me anymore. There’s something else that’s bothering you.”

He stares at me for a moment, deciding on whether to tell me or not. “I’m just worried about what will happen.”

“are you planning on breaking up with me or something? Because otherwise I don’t know why you’re worrying about what will happen with us.”

“what? No, I was talking about Finn.” He wasn’t exactly lying, but wasn’t telling the full truth either.

“Adam, I really need you to be honest with me right now.” I say, “what are you really worried about.”

“I told you, Fin-“

“Adam, I know you’re worried about Finn. I’m worried about Finn. But that’s not why you’ve been ignoring me.”

“fine.” He pauses, “I know you’ve been friends with Dakota for practically ever and-“ he stops that sentence and starts another, “I didn’t know if you were like her or not.”

“you think I’m going to leave you?” I ask and he doesn’t reply. “Adam, why would I leave you?”

“why did Dakota leave Finn?” he snaps back.

“because her dad left when she was three. Just packed up and didn’t come back until when she was five. Even then it was just to inform her of her new sister. Ever since her parents got a divorce she’s never been good with commitment.” I explain. “my parents didn’t break up. They even died together. I’ve never had any commitment issues and unlike her, if I was having problems I would talk to you.”

“are you sure?”

“positive.”

“are you mad at me?”

“no. disappointed though.”

Right when he was about to reply there was a knock on the door. I froze in my seat as did Adam. It was a minute or two before it rang again because no one answered it. Finn came downstairs and stared at the door without touching it.

A minute of silence passed throughout the house. “Damn it Finn! Open the goddamn door!” Dakota screams from the other side of it. Finn doesn’t make a move to open it and neither do Adam or I.

“I’m sorry.” She says. I could hear that she was crying just by the tone of her voice. “the closer it got the more scared I got. I just-“ she stops, “I don’t want to be my parents. I don’t want my kid raised the way I was raised. I don’t want the life that I looked up to everyday of my childhood. I got scared and I ran. I know it was terrible but I didn’t know what else to do. I’m horrible at communicating with people and even worse at commitment.” I could see that Finn was softening up a little bit. “I love you Finn and that’s not going to change. But there’s just something telling me that you’re going to leave like my dad did and, well, I really don’t think I can stand that happening to me again. That’s why I ran, so that I could get out before you’d kick me out.”

I nod my head toward the back door and Adam gets the message. We both slide out the door and walk around the house to the sidewalk. The walk was silent except for the sound of the birds chirping around us.

“I’m sorry.” Adam mumbles.

I smile a little to myself, “for what?”

“for thinking the worst of you.” he says.

“and…” I urge, knowing there was more.

“and for not talking to you about it when I should have.”

“now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“fighting with you or making up?” we had stopped walking now, and were just standing there on the sidewalk.

“whatever you wish.”

“it was horrible.” I laugh and wrap my arms around his waist. “Really Julie, I don’t think I can sleep without you anymore.”

“what if you’re like really sick?? I don’t like getting sick.”

“nope. Won’t be sleeping.”

“if you say so.”

“I do.” He bends down and kisses me right there in the middle of the street. Damn I’m a lucky girl with a ton of lies behind that luck.