Saying Good-bye

The finger prints I left on your casket will last forever, like the prints you left on my heart

A young girl takes her flower filled basket to her grandparents grave and sits down in the pouring rain during a storm. Everything around her is chaotic, not just the weather but her family too. constant bickering and arguments about nothing, is all she hears, no words of care or comfort. How can someone learn to love when all they see is hate?

Her grandparents taught her to love through the simplest of actions. A hug her, a kiss there, a "Have a good day" everyday. They were the only family who accepted her as she was, but now that they are gone, she feel feels all alone again. no love seen, no love felt. She'd been told "I love you" by her family but it seems just like more empty, forced words, just like all the other lies told. Mean nothing, feel nothing, is nothing, and that's exactly how she feels, empty, alone, afraid, worthless and the equivalent to nothing. her friends can't see through her because she's learned to mask it and hide how she feels.

Trust no one, fear everyone, she's afraid to tell someone because they won't understand what she's going through and that they'll tell her she's overreacting. She's afraid that she'll be rejected from the only people who don't hate her, afraid that they'll think she's just a wimpy, crybaby who can't deal with reality. But, she does know she can't deal with reality because its become just too much for her to bare without help. she can't reach out for help 'cause there's no hand to reach to, no one waiting for her.

Each time she falls, it takes longer and longer to get up each time. She's loosing her strength, loosing her will to keep living. She feels she has nothing to live for other than for the animals she cares for. They are the only ones she feels she can trust, the ones she can tell anything to, and has. They're the ones that will still love her and need her, the only things that make her happy.

Her friends used to be like that, but the she started unintentionally pushing them away and they were all to willing to leave. She thought they wouldn't understand. Perhaps if they would have stayed, maybe she wouldn't be sitting be here all alone in this graveyard say her goodbyes to the family that showed her love, the family that she hopes she'll be seeing soon.

She sits, pulling the petals of the flowers, one by one, saying a happy memory she had for each pulled petal. Maybe it will remind her that there is at least one reason to live, and reason to keep searching for something like love and acceptance. With only one flower left, she runs out of memories.

She lies down between her grandparents' graves, clutching the last flower, a beautiful white rose that almost seems as if it were glowing. With every flash of lightening, every boom of thunder and every drop of rain, she feels her life draining away, becoming one with the sod beneath her. She can feel the end creeping in.

She closes her eyes as the rain pounds all around her and darkness begins consuming her. Silently her tears mix with the rain and she says one last prayer but her words are lost in the dying wind.

And that is when she hears some familiar voices saying her name.