Welcome to Hell

They two bands were always at Dead’s house to practice. Each and every day when they weren’t playing Kirsten was getting to know Euronymous better. They hadn’t been talking a lot and they both still had things to learn about each other.

Benedikte had been talking to Dead an awful lot and she even made time for Necrobutcher and Hellhammer. Gry and Alva would mostly gravitate to Dead and Benediktes’ conversations. They were always the most interesting ones to listen to.

Benedikte had finally made her conclusions about Dead. She sensed a depression in him that she could only describe as ‘spooky’. He felt that he was actually dead, not meant for this earth. He hadn’t opened up enough for her to actually know why he thought the way he did.

By the time the year 1990 had gotten there everything seemed to be going smooth. They guys were looking for a small house that we could all share together instead of driving all the way to Dead’s house. They had enough demo tapes of new material for new records and this was the longest Mayhem had gone without changing members. A bit of bad luck did come their way. They had lost a lot of money by not touring and constantly playing music that the electricity was cut. It sucked because they were living from house to house and rehearsing anywhere that would let them.

After weeks and weeks of trying to find places to practice, a small chance came their way. A small club that was known for promoting black metal within the community. Most bands were smaller ones but they heard about Mayhem and the Queens ov Hell and wanted them to play there. It was the first big gig with Dead but they wouldn’t play any new songs because they weren’t close to being done completely. The day before the concert gave a small look of what Dead did before a gig.

It was a cold February day and Dead was walking out of the friend’s house they were staying at. Benedikte saw him walk to the door from her spot on the couch.

“Hey Pelle where are you going,” she asked eyeing him suspiciously?

She was mostly asking because he had a backpack with him. That was not something he usually does.

“I was going into the forest for something that I like to do before a gig.” He answered mysteriously.

“Can I come?” Benedikte asked happily.

He turned to her and gave her a weird look. His eyebrow lifted and his face scrunched up a bit. “Really?” he questioned.

“Yeah if it’s okay with you, I mean we’ve become friends, well at least I think we are; I’m just a little curious.” His face went back to normal at the mention of friends.

“Yeah we’re friends. Come on.” He beckoned.

They grabbed their coats and headed outside to trek to the forest.

When they got there in Benedikte’s beat up pickup truck, Dead pulled out a shovel that was in the bed of the truck.

“Dead why are you digging a hole for,” She asked stepping out of the truck.

“Well remember when I told you that I feel like I’m dead. Well I like to have the smell of death when I perform on stage. I dig a hole, make a marker to remember where it is, and then my clothes will have the death smell when I retrieve them.” He explained while digging.

Benedikte pondered for a while and then said, “Is that why you have that decaying raven in that bag.

“Yeah I like to also have the death smell in my nostrils. I smell it before I go onstage.”

After they finished burying his clothes they retreated back to the house they were staying at for the week. Benedikte and Dead decided to get his clothes before they got to the venue. They both figured everyone else should know about this ritual so that they could do it before any other gigs.



The day of the concert Dead informed everybody of what was going on. So everyone would understand what was happening. Given Dead’s personality no one was surprised when he explained it. The quickly retrieved his clothes and made their way to the venue to set up and get ready.

When we arrived we went directly through the back door of the venue. The girls set up first with Mayhem’s instruments close by. The girls were already dressed and ready to go on stage. It was still early so they hung out with the Mayhem guys.

“Euronymous where’s Dead?” Benedikte asked.

“I think he’s still in the back room. You can check back there.”

Benedikte walked behind the heavy curtain and saw Dead sitting there applying something to his face. As she got closer she noticed black and white paint sitting in front of him.

“Hey Dead, what are you doing?”

“Applying corpse paint, more preparation to achieve the look and atmosphere I’m going for.”

He turned to look at her. His face was stark white with black circles around his eyes, “That’s what you’re wearing.”

She looked down at her clothes and at her face in the mirror. “What’s wrong with it,” she asked.

“Well the clothes are fine, you look alright. I’m talking about your face; it’s very plain and boring.” He stated dully.

“If you think you can do a better job, I’d like to see it.” She said with her hands on her hips.

“Okay,” he said.

She sat down and he turned his back to her slightly. “Close your eyes.”

She could feel his breath on her face. He touched her slowly with the cold paint. She couldn’t help but shiver a bit. She was a little uncomfortable that close to him. She still wasn’t exactly sure about him. She could smell the dirt on his close and the small smell of death on him. He intrigued her, scared her, but at the same time she liked him. The uneasiness she felt in her stomach was turning into butterflies.

“You can open your eyes now.” Dead said.

He had done it like his but he had also painted her lips with some of it falling past her lips. It looked like she had black blood spilling from her mouth.

“Wow thanks Dead. Funny thing is we’re the only ones with it on.”

“Just something to set us apart,” he said coming closer to her.

“Benedikte, it’s time for us to go on,” Kirsten said poking her head through the curtain.

“See ya later Dead,” she said walking to Kirsten.

“Whoa, Benedikte you look amazing.” Kirsten commented.

“Yeah Dead did it. He is really amazing.”

“You know Benedikte I agree. He seems like a good guy. I love seeing you guys together. You look happier.” She said.

Before Benedikte could respond Kirsten had taken her place on the blackened stage. The pig and sheep heads were already in place and the lights slowly came on to make the stage shadowy.

The girls played at breakneck speed and even more profusely. Kirsten was playing so furiously you couldn’t even see her face behind her hair. Benedikte screamed loudly and played like her life depended on it. Gry and Alva were walking all over the stage and playing back to back. The show was one of their finest in Benedikte’s opinion.

They walked off sweaty and happy. Benedikte went up to Dead and hugged him. She was excited and far beyond acting normal.

“So did you like it?” She asked him.

“Yeah, you’re really good up there. I’ll see you when we’re done.”

Benedikte noticed rotted meat being brought to the stage. She watched the spectacle from the side of the stage. Certain times Dead would take the decaying raven in the bag and inhale deeply from it. Rotted meat was thrown out into the audience. The second to the last song Dead took a knife from his pocket and cut deeply into his arm. Benedikte was caught off guard a little confused. The blood from his cut dripped down and he allowed it to fall on the first row of the audience.

When Mayhem came off the stage Benedikte had to ask him what was going on. She told the others to pardon her and Dead so she could talk to him alone.

“Dead what was that?” Benedikte said gravely. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“Well I like to see the reaction of the people when I cut myself and the blood drains out. Some are interesting, some looks scared, and others are just blank. I like to cut myself and others. I don’t get to do others ever.” He said.

“Do you want to cut my arm?” She asked.

“You really want me too.”

“Yes, I want to know a little bit about what it’s like too.”

He pulled out his knife; Benedikte realized it was a hunting knife. It was one of the biggest she had seen.

He pressed the cold blade into her skin. At first it hurt but it didn’t bother her too much. While he did it her other hand held on to his lightly. When she saw the blood she looked down at it mesmerized. She finally understood cutting and the reaction to the blood. Dead placed his still bleeding arm next to hers and their blood dripped down and mingled together.

“Now we’re bonded by blood.” He said looking up at her. They left the concert that night best friends.