Never Let Go

It had been two weeks since I had returned to England, but it already felt like a lifetime ago that I had left America. In that short time, I had grown accustomed to the easy living that country life afforded my family. I loved being able to read as I lay on the window seat in the library. I loved tending to the garden where hundreds of vibrantly colored flowers stood waiting for me every morning.

It was my own version of heaven.

There were, of course, moments in which the war waged nearby, forcing me to remain indoors under the supervision of both grandparents, who were incredibly overprotective, but that had only happened three times. Perhaps that was a lot in two weeks, but it didn’t seem like that to me. I had expected that the war would be present in our everyday lives, it wasn’t.

The war wasn’t something that my grandparents discussed in front of me. Only thrice had they alluded to the war and all three times occurred on the days when they’d refused to let me out because they’d heard that Death Eaters had been spotted in the countryside. I tried talking with Grandpa about it, but he was skilled in maneuvering the conversation away from the topic at hand, a skill he had honed in the many years that he had been involved in the political arena.

Since Grandpa refused to discuss it with me, I tried talking to Nan. She was worse than him. She didn’t even bother politely changing the topic. She’d just say that she wasn’t going to waste her breath discussing it and would then exit the room. I get that she wanted to block the war out from our lives, but when war’s all around, can it really be ignored?

She seemed to believe so.

I didn’t.

That was why I pestered Ron into telling me everything that he knew. There were bits that he left out, I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t giving me a full account of everything in his knowledge, but I didn’t think much of it because Ron wasn’t telling me something, he had to have had a good reason. That is, after all, the only reason why he wouldn’t be open with me, either that or he didn’t trust me and I refused to believe that he didn’t trust me.

My pride wouldn’t let me.

Although I’d been in England for two weeks, I had yet to travel to Diagon Alley. This was due to the fact that my grandmother thought it a horrid place for me to be. She claimed that I would have a much better time in the country than in the city. I secretly agreed with her on that. I always had more fun in the country than I did in the city, but I was determined to go to Diagon Alley so when the school supply list arrived, I annoyed my Nan for four days straight until she agreed to take me and since we were going, she invited Chey to join us.

I hadn’t seen Chey since the lunch that Nan threw the day after we got back. She had been on vacation in America with her family. If memory serves me right, they had gone to California, stopping by San Francisco and Los Angeles. I can only imagine how much fun she had in San Francisco. As a fellow sixties enthusiast, I understood the special place that the city held in sixties rock.

That was, in many respects, the cradle to it because you can’t think of sixties rock without thinking of the Haight-Ashbury, the district where the scene thrived. Personally speaking, I had only visited the Haight once. It was a glorious visit which culminated in getting stoned beyond belief at Golden Gate Park with a group of friends. The experience, as amazing as it was, had gotten me grounded for two weeks since I had ditched school in order to travel to San Francisco, but it had been worth it, so very worth it.

The morning that we were set to visit Diagon Alley, I woke to the sound of Nan screaming my name at the top of her lungs. It wasn’t a very pleasant way of waking up and the fact that I decided to stay in bed instead of telling her that I was up, made her storm my room with a wooden spoon in hand.

“Get up! Get up! We’re leaving in an hour and I haven’t finished making breakfast yet!”

I rolled onto my side so that I could face her. “It’s still dark out.”

“Have you forgotten that Mitzi enchanted the windows so you sleep better?” Nan placed a hand on her hip, her lips pursed as she arched her right brow.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “What time is it?”

“Ten.”

“I think we should reschedule. Eleven is way too early for teenagers to be functioning and I'm pretty sure that Chey’s probably still sleeping in her warm bed and she’ll appreciate the fact that she’ll get an extra hour of sleep if we make the rendezvous at noon instead of eleven. I know I will.”

“You’re the one that kept pestering me about taking you to Diagon Alley and now you’re complaining –“

“Not complaining, I'm just saying that it’d be radder if we went at noon.” I smiled brightly, so brightly that my charming gap was visible. The gap really wasn’t charming but that’s what I referred to it as.

“The gap’s not going to help you this time,” she declared.

“Never thought I’d see the day the gap would fail me.” I threw the covers off myself and stretched, groaning as I did so. “That reminds me, are we still going to the grocery store when we get back? I need to stock up for tomorrow.”

“Are you sure that we have to go to that store in El Monte, la . . . ugh, I can never pronounce the name.”

“La Crawford.” My Spanish was infinitely better than hers.

That was due to the fact that my friend, Carolina, and her mother had taken it upon themselves to teach me Spanish while I was in America and in the five years that I had been under their instruction, I had managed to become fluent in it. I had an accent when I spoke, but it wasn’t that bad of an accent.

“That’s not its name though, that’s just what it’s known as.” Nan pointed out. “Don’t you remember the name?”

“Nope, all I know it by is la Crawford and I'm pretty sure that we’ll seem like we’re part of the neighborhood if we call it la Crawford.”

“Oh yes,” responded Nan sarcastically, “Because El Monte is crawling with Brits.”

“We’re a true infestation.”

Nan shook her head, a faint smile adorning her face. “Get dressed Millie. Breakfast will be ready in a bit.”

“Alright,” I threw my legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

The moment that Nan exited the room, I turned on the boom box that rested on the nightstand. Jimi Hendrix’s exquisite guitar playing seeped through the speakers, filling the bedroom with his beauty. I moved alongside the music, shaking my hips as I pranced about the room as if it were Wembley Stadium.

My curls bounced wildly as I danced towards the closet where I pulled out a pair of faded grey jeans along with a light plum tunic and old man style cardigan. The clothes were quickly thrown on and I turned my attention to finding the purple floral flats that I had purchased a month earlier. A triumphant yell rushed out at the sight of the flats. I threw them on the bed and applied some light make up.

Make up didn’t take long. I wasn’t the sort that applied layer after layer or that decorated their eyes with different colors. I was the type that carelessly threw on some powder, then lined the top lid with a black liner, and applied mascara. Sometimes I put on blush

I scanned the room one last time, making sure that I had stuffed all the necessary things into the oversized purse that hung across my shoulders. Once I realized I had, I abandoned my room in search of the breakfast that Nan had cooked.

Belgian waffles were for breakfast. They were devoured.

At exactly eleven am, Chey showed up with Uncle Ryan but they weren’t alone. Traveling with them was Jade Asher, Chey’s best friend and someone that I had been looking forward to seeing again.

“Jade!” I rushed towards her.

“Blimey! I thought Chey was joking when she said you lost your accent.”

“It’s long gone.” I studied her appearance, noticing just how much she had changed. “You finally got the piercings.”

Jade chuckled. “Took a bit of convincing to get mum to sign off on them, but here we are, I have piercings and they’re pretty fu –“Jade’s eyes widened when she remembered that adults were present, “Fun and lovely if I do say so myself.”

“Loads of fun,” Chey snickered, her green eyes sparkling mischievously.

“Chey,” Ryan pronounced her name slowly, shooting her a look as he did so.

“What?” Chey was going to play the innocent card. “We didn’t say anything wrong. Right Jade?” her lips curled into a small, childlike smile.

“Quite right.” It was obvious that Jade was struggling to restrain her laughter.

“Are you sure that you can handle all three?” Ryan asked Nan.

“For crying out loud Ryan, they’re teenage girls not trolls.”

“Don’t be so sure about –“

“They’re teenager girls and we’ll be fine so go home. I'm sure Bronwyn could use a hand with the children.”

“That she could,” Ryan approached Chey. “Make sure to behave yourself and stick by your Grandma.”

“Will do, dad,” Chey kissed his cheek.

Ryan turned his attention to Jade. “That goes for you as well, Jade.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Donovan. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Have fun girls.” Ryan hugged Jade tightly before leaving.

Shortly after Ryan left. We departed to Diagon Alley via Floo Powder.

The last time I had walked the streets of Diagon Alley, I was eleven years old and it had been the most vibrant place that I had ever visited. The streets were alive with people whose different accents were soundtrack to life, but that had been five years ago and Diagon Alley was no longer the same as it had once been.

Entire building complexes stood abandoned. Their windows cracked and adorned with graffiti that denounced muggle borns as nothing more than vermin. That was the moment when I realized just how bad things had gotten. The people on the streets no longer laughed or took their time strolling down the avenue. They power walked, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

This wasn’t the Diagon Alley that I had grown up with.

“Scary how much it’s changed, isn’t it?” Chey appeared at my side.

I nodded in agreement. “How’d it get this bad?”

“Once Voldemort was seen at the Ministry, the Death Eaters stopped caring about going unseen and they started patrolling the streets, attacking anyone that they suspected of being a muggle born.” Jade explained. “And the worst part is –“

“It gets worse?”

Jade chuckled lightly, nodding as she did so, “Much worse. You see, this has all happened really recently. The fight at the Ministry happened on . . . fuck. Chey?” she called.

“Yeah?” replied Chey.

“When did the fight at the Ministry go down?” Jade was the type that hated getting her facts wrong.

“Uh, I think . . .” Chey scrunched her nose, an obvious sign that she was wracking her mind. “It was June 18th, a little less than three weeks ago.”

“And all this has happened? What the hell? Hasn’t the Ministry tried cracking down?”

“It’s hard to crack down on the one that controls them,” answered Jade.

“That’s right. I’d forgotten that Voldemort controlled them and he’s had his hand in the Ministry for awhile now. He’s the reason why my Grandpa wasn’t reinstated as Ambassador.”

Jade’s eyes flickered with curiosity. “When did he find out that he wasn’t going to get the job again?”

“Late April.” It had been April 29th when we’d received the news.

“So he’s had his hands in there since at least April. Stupid Ministry telling us that everything was alright when it was going to shit.”

“Calm down,” whispered Chey. “You know we can’t talk like this in public. We’ll get followed and fucking cornered. And we wouldn’t last two minutes without our damn wands.”

“Ugh,” groaned Jade. “Why can’t they lower the bloody age to sixteen? Sixteen’s practically seventeen.”

“But not quite,” Chey ran a hand through her fiery red locks. “Where’d Grandma go?”

I turned around, eyes scanning the scarcely populated street. “She’s staring at the hats.”

“Hats?” she spun on her heel. “She’s supposed to be watching us and the moment she sees hats, she forgets that we even exist.”

“That’s because she’s obsessed with hats.” I stated. “Haven’t you seen the room at the cottage that’s dedicated to nothing but hats? She has hundreds, most of which she never wears but I guess she just likes looking at them.”

“Are you serious?”

I nodded. “Sometimes we have random tea parties where we dress up and wear the hats.”

“What are you, five?” Jade teased.

“It sounds lame but it’s actually pretty rad.” I shuffled awkwardly. “Nan has a penchant for period dresses as well, so we have clothes that are very Jane Austen and . . . I'm rambling. I always ramble about things that people have no interest in, such a bad habit.”

“You’re so weird. You’re the only person that would wear period dresses to tea. Ah.” Jade sighed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I'm glad you’re back. We needed another crazy at school. And you better get into Gryffindor, we won’t accept anything else!”

“We won’t!” Chey exclaimed. “That way Jade, you and I can annoy our dorm mates. They won’t know what hit them.”

“Who are your dorm mates?” I tilted my head towards her.

“Parvati, Lavender and Hermione, first two are bloody annoying. Make me want to smother them in their sleep. Hermione’s alright as long as there isn’t anything due in the near future, because if she has a paper to write or an exam to study for, she gets bloody annoying.” Jade began laughing. “In fact, a few weeks before last term ended, Chey and I pissed her off so much that she just went off on us. I thought she was going to cry because we weren’t giving her an adequate environment to study in. Hah.”

“Are you talking about Hermione Granger, the one that hangs out with Ron and Harry?”

“That’s her,” spoke Chey. “Have you met her?”

“Mhm, she’s at Ron’s right now so whenever I go over to his place, she’s there.” I responded.

“Why’s she always there?” asked Jade.

“Her and Harry are spending the summer at The Burrow.”

“Has she been nice?” Jade removed her arm from my shoulder.

“She has,” I scrunched my nose while shooting her a small smile. “I'm going to go get Nan.”

“Just let her look at the hats, it’s not like she’s going to be there all day.” Chey adjusted her pants, pulling up them slightly.

“If we leave Nan there, she’ll walk into that store and lose herself for at least three hours. So just wait right here and I’ll go get her.” I hurried towards Nan. I was eager to see the rest of Diagon Alley. Most importantly, I was eager to see the Twins joke shop. “Nan,” I tugged at her thin cardigan.

“Yes dear?” she didn’t bother turning my way. Her eyes were firmly fixed on a royal blue hat that looked something like the Queen would wear.

“There’s a group of shady looking man asking us to follow them to a bar. Can we go?”

“Yes dear . . . wait, what?!” her eyes widened at the realization of what I had just said. “You can’t wander off with men you don’t know!”

“But they’re lookers, the strung out type. You know I love the strung out type.”

“I'm not looking forward to the day that you bring a boy home.”

“Who says I'm bringing home a boy? I could bring home a girl.”

“You require too much attention to be with another woman. You’d probably end up throwing a fit and walking out on her.”

“That does sound like something I would do.”

“It is,” Nan placed a tender kiss on my forehead. “Where are Chey and Jade?”

“I think they followed the strangers.”

“That’s not funny,” she scolded.

We soon regrouped with the others and began buying everything on the list. Upon finishing shopping, we made our way to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the joke shop that the twins had recently opened. Their joke shop was the only place that seemed to belong in Diagon Alley. It was vibrant, full of life and just by looking at it, a large grin spread across my face. Eager to see the inside, I rushed through the door, eyes widening immediately.

It was heaven.

I walked down the aisles, eyes hungrily scanning their contents as I did so. There were so many things that I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I couldn’t focus my attention on any one product. They were all so brilliant.

“See the Skiving Snackbox caught your attention.”

“Do these really work . . .” I turned and stared at the twin before me, searching for a small freckle on the neck that would tell me if it was Fred or George. When I found it I knew it was Fred. “Fred?”

“How do you know it’s me?”

“Because you’ve got a freckle right here,” I touched the spot. “George doesn’t have it.”

“I didn’t even know I had it.” Fred joked. “So what brings you to the shop? And unescorted, I thought your Nan didn’t let you out of the house by yourself.”

“She doesn’t and that’s why she’s lurking around here somewhere.”

“You’re better taken care of than the Minister.”

“That’s because I'm fucking adorable. You see this gap,” I opened my mouth and pointed to the small gap between my two front teeth. “This is what I call a charming gap and when you have a charming gap, people can’t help but find you endearing.”

“Really? Because all I think when I see that gap is that you need to get your teeth fixed.”

“Jerk!” my hand collided against his left shoulder.

“Only joking,” Fred rubbed his shoulder. “So do you want a tour of it?”

“I’d love one but I'm sure you’re busy. I mean, there’s a bunch of people in here that are eager to buy Weasley products. You don’t have time to give tours.”

“Nonsense, I always have time to show off.” Fred winked and held out his arm. “Plus we hired our friend to help out. Do you remember Lee Jordan?”

“Vaguely.” I answered honestly.

“Oh, well he’s the one helping us out right now and he and George are being responsible so I can slack off for a bit.”

“In that case,” I linked my arm with his. “Give me a tour and it better be a good tour.”

“Those are the only kind I give. Now listen up –“

For the following half hour, I followed Fred around the store. I had thought that he was going to be a horrible tour guide since he wasn’t the most serious of people, but he was thorough in his tour, showing me the entire store – including the storage area and their private office – he even told me how they’d been inspired for certain products.

At the end of the half hour, I gathered a few items and asked Nan if I could have my week’s allowance. Jade and Chey also grabbed a few items, the latter spent a little while flirting with George as he rung up her items.

We soon exited the store and made our way back to the hat shop where Nan wanted to make a few purchases. I knew that she was going to go back to the store. The woman has an addiction to hats and she’s lucky that she has the funds to support that addiction, because most hats are more expensive than drugs.

I trailed slightly behind Nan whom was busy talking with Chey and Jade about the beauty of hats. And it was just as we were turning a corner when I heard an unfamiliar voice call my name.

“Emilia?” it had spoken.

When I turned I saw a tall woman with a body that models would kill to have. Her complexion was pale, her eyes a light shade of blue and her blonde hair was pulled up tightly.

“Good afternoon,” I greeted politely.

“Mother,” a blonde youth appeared at her side. Him I recognized. “Who’s this?”

“No one Draco, no one.” And with one last fleeting glance, she left.