Never Let Go

“Gonna lose my fucking mind before the years up. I can feel it,” she muttered to herself, her tired eyes threatening to close on her as she worked on her paper for potions.

The paper wasn’t due until Monday afternoon, which meant that she had the entire weekend to work on it. As well as the lunch period on Monday, but Emilia didn’t want to have the bloody thing nagging at her. She needed to finish the paper on Everlasting Elixirs so that she could enjoy her first trip to Hogsmeade, stress free. She wanted to be able to explore the small village without worrying about whether or not she’d have enough time to do her work. And more importantly, she wanted to spend the entire day with Julie and if she had that paper hanging over her, she wouldn’t be able to do that. She’d be mindful of the time, wondering if she should head back to the castle to get started, but by starting the paper Friday evening, she was going to have it done by daybreak.

So she sat in the Slytherin common room, hunched over a table in the far right of the room, and wrote the whole night through. There were no naps, no stretching breaks, nothing. There was only reading and writing, writing and reading. She was determined to finish the paper and her strict writing regime ended up working out for her, because just as the murky green light was beginning to shine through the massive windows, she was setting down her quill. The paper was finished.

For a moment, she just sat there, enjoying the sense of accomplishment that finishing the paper gave her. She was free. Free to do whatever she wanted. And what she wanted to do was sleep, so she gathered all her things, wrapped her parchment up tight and then walked up the flights of stairs to the dorm she shared with the other girls. They were all fast asleep, their snores inviting her into the room in a way that their voices would never do. Emilia didn’t bother taking off her clothes, she simply settled for kicking off her shoes and then climbed underneath the two blankets, ready to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Hours later, she awoke to the sound her alarm clock going off.

“Fucking shit,” she grumbled into her pillow, her eyes still closed.

Just a few more minutes, she thought to herself, a few more minutes and then I’ll get out of bed. That seemed reasonable to her, just a few more minutes in her warm bed and then she’d climb out to face the day, but the alarm clock didn’t think it as reasonable. To express it’s dissatisfaction, it’s wailing grew louder and louder, until Emilia could no longer stand it and snatched it off the nightstand. She shot the inanimate object a reproachful look before turning it off. Stupid thing should’ve known better than to wake her up when she was so obviously in need of more sleep, but it didn’t. It woke her and now she had to get ready to leave to Hogsmeade.

Getting ready didn’t take long and as soon as she was ready, she grabbed her bag, double checked that everything she needed was in fact there, and left. She made a stop at the kitchens before continuing on her way to Gryffindor tower where she was set to meet Chey and Jade. When she arrived, the pair was seated on the large couch, their hair properly styled and their outfits clearly looking like thought had been put into them. At first, she didn’t understand why they were so dressed up, but then she remembered. The twins were coming.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you two were actual ladies.”

“Don’t listen to her Jade,” spoke Chey. “She’s only jealous that she looks like that while we look like this.”

“Can’t really blame her, can we? If I looked like that, I’d be just as jealous.” Jade smirked. “But it’s alright Millie, love you no matter what.”

Emilia began to laugh. “Well excuse me for not dressing like I'm looking to get laid.”

“Shut the fuck up!” a pillow was thrown by Jade.

“What was that for?” asked Emilia as she rubbed the side of her face that had been by the heavily beaded pillow.

“For running your damn mouth,” hissed Chey. “Don’t ya know you can’t be running your mouth in here?”

“Why not?” asked Emilia.

“Because gingers might overhear,” whispered Jade. “And as much as we love gingers, we don’t want these gingers hearing a few things. Ron will probably freak.”

Chey nodded in agreement. “I can already hear him going on a rant about how they’re his brothers and he shouldn’t have to hear us talk like that. He’s a child, he is.”

“That’s part of his charm.” Emilia commented.

They didn’t stay in the common room much longer. Instead they ventured outside and began the walk to Hogsmeade. They could have taken one of the carriages, but they hadn’t bothered to reserve one so they were stuck walking. Not that they minded, the walk was one blessed with picturesque landscapes and it was an easy distance from the castle. During the walk, Chey informed Emilia that she and Jade wouldn’t be able to have lunch with her and Julie, because apparently George had brought some food from a restaurant she loved in London. That was alright with Emilia. She understood that Chey really wanted to spend time with George. They’d been talking for the last year and now that things were becoming more serious, they were struggling to make things work with the distance.

The three of them wandered around Hogsmeade, looking for Julie. Emilia had given the address to the village, but had forgotten to give her an exact spot to meet up. So now they were stuck wandering about. They spend close to fifteen minutes that way, walking almost to the outskirts of the village and there – almost to the edge of the village – stood Julie, her back resting against the wall of an old rundown building as a cigarette casually lay between her thin lips. Her light brown eyes were shielded from the world by a pair of dark spectacles that were alls scratched up on the sides and her clothes looked as out of place on a teenager as ever.

Julie didn’t dress her age. She dressed like an old college professor that teaches ethnic studies, would dress. Her shirts were always oversized tunics, her pants a pair of beat up Dockers, and her jewelry always look like it had been bought while on vacation to some remote village. Her style made her always stick out of a crowd and even though some of the stylish kids at the academy teased her over her eccentric dress, Julie never gave a fuck.

That was one of the things that Emilia loved most about Julie. She loved how comfortable Julie was in her own skin. Julie wasn’t like other teenage girls that fretted over weight or over what they looked like in a pair of pants. That was something that Emilia admired and it was because of Julie that Emilia got over her own body image issues and came to love her body for what it was, instead of what everyone else thought it should be. Emilia grew more excited with each step she took and when she was only a few yards away from Julie, her excitement had grown so unmanageable, that she found herself forced to yell.

“Julie!” she bellowed excitedly.

The dirty blonde turned in the direction of the voice, her lips curling upwards when her eyes landed upon her friend. She removed the cigarette from her lips, flicking it onto the ground where she stepped on it until it was nothing more than a bit of trash on the ground.

“Mila,” she called to her friend, her voice soft and dreamlike. “What the fuck happened to your hair?”

“It grew out.”

Julie tilted her head to the side, as if that would give her a better view. “So that’s what your hair looks like longish. Hmm, don’t think I dig it. You need that mane, man. That’s a good fucking hairstyle.”

“One minute in and you’ve insulted my hair.” Emilia declared. “Fuck. I missed you!” she launched herself at the taller blonde, wrapping her arms tightly around her as they shared a tender embrace that would be broken in a few moments by Julie whispering something inappropriate into Emilia’s ear.

“Oh yeah, baby, that’s the spot.”

Emilia pulled away, scrunching her nose as she did so. “Gross.”

“Not gross. More like bizarrely awesome.”

“Only you would call that bizarrely awesome.”

Julie tilted her head back, a loud chuckle erupting from her lips. “I seriously missed your complaints, which is why I'm probably gonna end up shrinking you and taking you home with me. Because being gross isn’t as fun when there’s not someone there telling you you’re gross.”

“Your brother says it all the time.”

“Don’t give a fuck what he thinks. I need to be told I'm gross by someone who’s not brain dead – well, completely brain dead.”

“You’re one insult away from a pinch to the gut.”

“So soon?” she scratched her neck. “Guess I’ll save that insult, have to make it a wicked cool one if it’s gonna get me pinched. But anyways, what we doing today?” she asked.

“Meet my friends, lunch, smoke, second lunch, and then I guess we’ll probably split.”

“Don’t you want to smoke out first?”

“I would, but uh, my friends are waiting over there,” she whispered.

Julie nodded in understanding. “Right then, let’s go meet.”

Waiting a few feet away from them, were Chey and Jade. They stood there with amused expressions on their faces, clearly liking the way Julie looked. She seemed out of it, the way she walked toward them, told them so, and the grin that decorated her face was just so silly that it was impossible for either of them not to smile or to feel a strange fondness forming for the peculiar person before them.

“Chey, Jade this is Julie, my friend from America. And Julie, this is my cousin, Chey and my friend, Jade.”

“Your cousin’s a ginger?” her entire face lit up, Julie was fond of gingers. “That’s so rad. I tried being ginger once. Color didn’t really take, but that’s awesome. Why didn’t you tell me, you had a ginger cousin, that’s so rad . . . ah, your freckles,” Julie was now speaking to Jade. “Mila, these are the kind of freckles I want. Not too much, not too little, just right. No offense to you, Chey, you rock those fucking freckles. But I can’t rock that many freckles. Don’t have the pastiness for it.”

“She’s brilliant,” declared Jade. “Off her face on some drug, but she’s brilliant, really, she is.”

Chey let out a laugh. “She’s also mad. You know that you’re mad, right?”

“Do I know it? Yes. Am I offended? No.” Julie replied. “Anyone worth knowing has to be a bit unstable. Right, Mila?”

“Right,” replied Emilia.

“Why do you call her Mila?” asked Jade.

“Because if I call her Millie, we’d be Julie and Millie, and if I call her Emi, we’d be Julie and Emi. And I'm not one for best friends with nicknames that rhyme. That’s just . . . not for me. That shit belongs on feel good TV for people out in suburbia.”

To that, Jade simply laughed.

“You guys know where we’re having lunch?” inquired Julie.

“No,” answered Chey. “We’re actually having lunch with some other people. We just really wanted to meet you.”

“Ah, I get it. That’s why you’re so dressed up.” Julie removed her sunglasses, revealing her half opened eyes. “Well have fun and remember to use –”

“Julie!” cried Emilia.

“What? What I say?” she held up her hands, shooting Emilia a questioning look even though she knew very well what she’d said.

Emilia ignored her, knowing very well what was going through the blonde’s mind. “If you guys want you can head out now. We’re just gonna grab some lunch.”

“Right,” muttered a skeptical Chey. “Well try to not to get into trouble.”

“And meet us in front of Honeydukes at four or else we’ll leave you and you’ll get lost in the forest.” Jade added.

“I’ll be there.” Emilia reassured. “Have fun with your dates.”

“Oh, we will.”

When the others had gone, Julie turned to Emilia and said, “Honeydukes. That as delicious as it sounds?”

“Better.” Emilia spoke. She’d been to the one in Diagon Alley so she assumed the one in Hogsmeade was just as delicious.

“Let’s go there after we smoke. We’ll have a second lunch of candy.”

“I'm down for that. But we should probably go eat right now. I'm starving.”

“Where to?” asked Julie.

“Don’t know.” Emilia smiled sheepishly. “First time I’ve been here so I don’t really know where anything is, but I heard there’s like two bars with food.”

“That one over there’s a bar,” she pointed to the building where she’d been standing.

Emilia shot the building a long look before saying, “That places looks like it’ll give us diarrhea.”

“There’s nothing like a good cleanse to make one feel alive!”

“If you have your own toilet, then maybe but I have to share with a bunch of girls.”

“Fine, we’ll find somewhere more hygienic to eat.”

During their search for the second bar, they stumbled across the Three Broomsticks Inn, which was a bit crowded but boasted a warm, clean environment where they could have a decent meal. The pair went up to the front and ordered two cherry flavored drinks. Julie was tempted to buy a Firewhiskey, she’d always wanted to try some from Britain, but knew better than to do so. Emilia didn’t like her friends drinking alcoholic beverages. She never outright told them not to drink, but whenever someone drank around her, her brow would furrow and she would look like she would much rather be anywhere but there. With their drinks in hand, they grabbed two menus and walked back to an empty table in the far right of the pub.

Julie read over the menu in silence, her nose scrunching in disapproval as she read over the menu. Nothing on it sounded familiar or remotely appetizing. There were odd sounding sandwiches, stews that she had no intention of ever tasting and a selection of meat that sounded best suited for forest dwellers. She set down the menu and then reached into her bag, where her father had packed her a grilled cheese sandwich and a bag of chips. He knew his daughter was a fussy eater and that the odds of her finding something she’d want to eat were slim.

“Aren’t you gonna get anything?” asked Emilia, from across the table.

“Nah,” replied Julie. “It all sounds gross. I’ll just munch on this and then binge on the candies later on.”

Emilia shook her head. “Might sound gross, but they’re actually good.”

“How do you know that? You’ve never been here before. Remember?”

“Might not have been here before, but I’ve had the food on here. My Nan and Mitzi cook it. And they make it good, so this place ought to make good food if it’s always crowded.”

“Don’t try to use logic with me.” Julie set her food out on the table. “I'm allergic to that shit so let me eat in peace.”

“You can’t eat. I haven’t ordered yet so you have to wait.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll wait. But hurry up! I'm starving here!”

“Overdramatic stoner,” Emilia declared.

“Rather be that than a curly headed fuck.” Julie smiled brightly as she said so.

Emilia shook her head and proceeded to eye the menu, settling on a stew. The stew was paid for and was soon brought out to her. The pair then began to eat, talking as they did so and laughing as well. Julie told her about how things were going back at the academy and informed her of the drama that was spreading throughout the academy. Apparently, people weren’t as in control of their hormones as they’d once been and that had led to the entire school being forced to take a week of mandatory sexual education. Julie laughed about that, saying that their classmates complained about how hard using the contraceptive spell was. They said that in the moment, muttering an incantation was the furthest thing from their mind, but true as that may be, Julie thought they were complete morons for risking a pregnancy when such an easy solution existed.

“And she’s like five months pregnant now,” Julie said, talking about their friend, the star seeker that had gotten knocked up by an older boy.

“Wasn’t she getting scouted by the Fitchburg Finches?”

“Not anymore.”

Emilia remained quiet for a moment, before saying, “That fucking sucks.”

“That’s life though. One fuck up can mess up everything, but hopefully she’ll be alright. I heard her parents are taking it pretty well so at least she’ll have them.” Julie took a sip from her drink. “Since we’re on the subject of fucking up . . .”

“No,” replied Emilia, knowing very well what Julie was going to ask.

“What do you mean? You’re at a boarding school filled with Brits!”

“I'm British.”

“Yeah, but you don’t sound British.” Julie declared as if that simple statement had proved a massive point.

“The only reason Brits are exotic is because you’ve never been around them. I have, so they’re just people to me. And anyway, there’s no one here that’s really my style.”

“What about that ginger?” she asked, motioning with her eyebrow to the right. “He’s pretty hot.”

Emilia turned to look at who Julie was taking about and there, in all his glory, stood Ron. He was pulling out a chair next to Harry and his pale face was flushed with color. They’d probably been running around somewhere. The trio was always getting mixed up into one thing or another.

“Him?” she said, shocked.

“Yeah, him, just look at that . . . you need to get at him,” Julie declared.

“That’s Ron. I’ve told you about him. He’s my oldest friend.”

“Ah right, right.” Julie ran a hand through her short blonde hair. “So do you mind if I have a go with him? I like gingers and that’s a nice looking ginger.”

“He has a girlfriend,” Emilia blurted out, her heart beating faster as the lie left her mouth.

“What a pity,” mumbled Julie. “Could’ve had a good fucking time with him, oh well,” she took a sip from her drink. “Want to get out of here? We can go do our transaction and then smoke a bit.”

“Yeah, let’s leave.”

Emilia left a tip on the table and then followed Julie out. Julie was going on about how great the batch she brought Emilia was, but none of the words she spoke were paid any attention to. Emilia was to busy trying to figure out why she’d lied about Ron having a girlfriend. She tried telling herself that it was because she didn’t want Ron to deal with Julie. Julie was a handful and very experimental. Ron wasn’t on her level. He’d be shocked by her language and style, but that wasn’t it. As selfish as it was, she hadn’t thought of what was best for Ron when she lied. What she’d thought about, she didn’t know, but what she did know was that she didn’t regret lying.