You Just Do

I couldn’t believe it. My mother was coming here, to Pittsburgh. She wanted to ‘see how I was doing’ or rather spy on Evgeni and I.

She sounded so angry and pissed off on the other line, telling me I couldn’t afford a relationship, that I needed to focus on other things. She was getting mad at me for being in love with someone and it scared me. I didn’t know how she would react when she would really see us together.

Evgeni quickly drove me to go see Max. Why my brother told my parents was beyond me, but he did and I had to live with that. Sure, I didn’t like it, but he did and I would have to get over it somehow.

Evgeni and I stood in front of my house, him holding onto my tightly, those strong arms wrapped around my waist. I was cuddled into him, gripping onto the front of his shirt. He kissed the top of my head and smiled down at me.

His smile was breathtaking. So wonderful and cute. It just made me feel those darn butterflies everywhere in my stomach and I couldn’t get over it. He was my boyfriend and he loved me.

“Bye. Mon amour.” I whispered to him before leaning up, on my toes and attaching his wonderful lips to mine. His grip on my waist tightened as my tongue invaded the wonderful mouth of his, running over his teeth and the hollow of his cheeks.

He pulled away and grinned toothily. He was such a dork sometimes, but I loved that about him. He could be hot and just complete sex on legs one moment, the next he could act all goofy and funny. It just made him all the more attractive.

“Bye. Call me.” He whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek and letting me go into the house I called home while I was staying here with my brother.

“Max!” I shouted as I entered, throwing my shoes off into the corner.

I limped over to the kitchen where Max was sitting drinking some coffee.

“Where were you?” he asked sternly, sending a glare in my direction.

“You told mom?! I can’t believe you! She called me this morning and told me how I was a disgrace and how she didn’t want me to be with him anymore. She…” I frowned and gingerly sat down on a chair looking at my hands tears welling in my eyes.

The things she had said, I hoped she didn’t mean. I didn’t want her to mean them. It hurt to know how she felt about my sexuality. The words that left her mouth were words that should ever escape the vocal chords of your own mother.

“I’m sorry, but she needed to know. I didn’t feel right to lie to her.” he explained, “Now tell me where you were.”

I gave him a stern look and stood up hobbling into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. I couldn’t look at him. He told her, ruined my relationship with my mother… I couldn’t believe him.

“Olivier! Open this door right now!” My brother shouted as he pounded the door angrily.

“Non! Leave me alone!” I cried desperately, hoping he would understand and get the message, which he clearly didn’t because Max didn’t leave. He kept on pounding against the door like a mad man, wanting to ‘talk’ to me, but it seemed more like he wanted to let out his frustration on me and get mad at me for no real reason.

“I was with my boyfriend last night.” I shouted through the door, “We had hot steamy sex and then fell asleep only to be woken up by my mother bitching me out and telling me she wished I was never born and that I was a disgrace to the family, finishing it all off by saying she was coming here tomorrow to straighten me out!”

The other side of the door was dead quiet. Finally Max understood that I had no desire to talk to him or see him. He ruined the most perfect night. I was supposed to wake up in the arms of my boyfriend, we were supposed to eat breakfast together and maybe go for another round, but all thanks to Max and his big fat mouth none of those things happened.

I laid down on my bed and let the tears fall. My own family hated me, wanted me gone and wished I wouldn’t be here. I understood when I was still doing drugs, but I stopped, I was a good kid. I bet they would all rather me do drugs than be gay and in love.

Would you rather have a gay, happy son or a straight miserable one? In my family the answer was easy. A straight miserable one of course.

“Olivier…” Max whispered, “I’m sorry…”

Too late for that. Tomorrow my mom would come and everything would go downhill. She will take me home, or just bitch me out constantly or piss Evgeni off until he realizes he doesn’t need/want me anymore and then everything will have been for nothing.

Fuck, I hated parents and older siblings.