Spinning Insanity

I don't know if they think I'm stupid or something,

But they were trying to hide the fact that they had a party.

Yet they were still talking about it in like "code" or something.

hey I have your bag that you left at my house.

This weekend went by too fast

We should hang out again tomorrow.

All of these things were said when they thought I was talking to someone else.

I'm going to give them another chance.

I will probably always give them one more chance...

I just can't trust them anymore.

My mother was trying to tell me how ungrateful I am.

She listed off all the things she does for me.

She asked what it was I did for her.

I could feel tears coming so I walked away.

The thing I do for her is try.

I've raised my grades.

I don't burden her with my problems.

I try SO FUCKING HARD and she can't see that.

I could care less if I got an A or a B

I could care less if I go to all these after school activities.

I do it for her even after the shitty way she treats me.

It's the least I can do while I'm still living here.

I'm not dead.

I AM NOT living because of her.

But I'm not dead yet because I want to prove her wrong.

I want to be dead to her as a daughter.

I will leave her.

I will kill off this life.

Which will be like I'm dead to her.

And I get to watch her go through it.

Now it's her turn to feel like shit.

She still makes me wanna die but I won't give her the satisfaction.

I am so sorry I can't be perfect mother.

I am going to get my life back and you won't be included.