Spinning Insanity

I hate myself.

I know I'm not fat.

It's just that flab gets to me.

It disgusts me.

I think about it all the time.

Maybe Stanley dying made me realize how fragile I really am and how life is too short.

I'm a freshman.

I have 4 good friends who I actually hang out with.
3 maybe good friends who I sit with at lunch.

My good friends are older than me we dont get to see each other during school.

My 3 other friends are my age but I only talk to them during lunch.

I have gone through so many groups of friends.

I like making new friends(i'll talk more about that later)

This group actually doesn't talk behind your back.

This group doesn't judge.

It's as close to my idea of ideal friends as possible.

My family judges that hurts the most.

I heard the comments my mother said about my friends and I's choice of dark clothes and dyed hair.

Your not going goth on me are you? I hope not!

What hurts is that she asks that but never realized that I'd been "going goth" for quite some time.

I can honestly say I won't miss this place when i leave.