The Joke's on Me

So today we’re doing a signing before the show, three days into the tour. All three bands are on separate tables, Young Guns at the first one, The Blackout in the middle, and LostProphets on the left. I just happen to be at the end of my table next to Sean, who’s on the end of his. Not ideal, really. Not since he’s either avoiding me or shooting me cold glares. I wish I could explain everything to him. But I can’t. Not yet. Not that he’d let me right now anyway.

Mike and Stewart have both noticed that something’s wrong between me and Sean. Well, and Gavin. I’m assuming Sean’s told Gavin what had been going on between us (even though he promised not to tell anyone, the sneaky shit), and Gavin’s been death glaring at me every single moment he can. It’s making me feel even worse about myself than I already do, and that’s saying something. But yeah, Mike and Stewart have both noticed the tension between us, and they’ve asked me what’s wrong multiple times, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them what happened. More out of shame, than anything else.

Like I said, we’re at a signing today. We’ve been here for nearly 4 hours, so my butt is pretty numb, but at least I’m busy doing stuff. Alaina’s just been sitting behind us drawing in her sketchbook. I’d be bored out of my mind if I were her. I’ll have to thank her later. No, not like that, get your minds out of their gutters. I’ll…snuggle with her or something. I don’t know.

We’re down to the last few fans now, a handful at Young Guns’ table, a few at The Blackout’s table and only one at our table. This girl looks about 15/16 years old, and has wild red hair with a wicked black and white polka dot dress on, as well as looking as if she was going to pass out. Bless her. When she finally reached me, she smiled widely, although her eyes looked like she wanted to do a happy dance. Adorable!

“H-Hi,” she whispered nervously.

“Hey,” I smiled warmly. She’s adorable!

“C-Could you sign this for me?” she asked, holding our latest album and a poster. The rest of my guys have signed it too, so I guess I should!

“Sure thing. How long have you been waiting today?” I asked, just curious.

“Only 6 hours,” the girl shrugged.

6 hours? Holy shit! That’s insane.

“Fuck, you’re crazy,” I chuckled, signing both the items.

“It was worth it,” the girl smiled shyly, shaking her head.

Well if that isn’t a true fan, I don’t know what is.

“There you go, sweetheart,” I smiled, handing her stuff back to her.

“C-Could I have a photo with you? With you and…Sean?” the girl asked nervously.

With Sean? Oh shit.

“I’m quite happy to have a photo with you, but I think Sean might be a bit busy,” I said to her.

“Oh, okay. The two of you just seem such good friends, and you’re both my idols, and…”

You know what? Fuck Sean. If this fan wants a photo with us, then she’s going to get one!

“I’ll ask him,” I interrupted, smiling at her.

She blushed but nodded, so I got out of my chair and walked over to Sean. He immediately scowled at me.

“I don’t want to hear it, Watkins,” he hissed.

“Actually, if you took your head out of your ass for two seconds, I was actually going to ask you to have a photo with me and that fan because she’s been waiting 6 hours to see us and she looks up to both of us as her idols. Stop being such a dick. The fans don’t think anything is wrong between us, and I’d like to keep it that way,” I growled back.

Sean’s eyes widened a bit, but he sighed and nodded, standing up. The girl beamed at me, before looking around her and frowning.

“My friends are still at the Young Guns table,” she murmured, wiggling her camera. Ah got it.

“Uh…” Sean said uselessly.

Nice, Sean. Rolling my eyes gently, I turned my head and beckoned Alaina over. She raised an eyebrow but put down her sketchbook and walked over to us.

“Yeah babe?” she smiled sweetly.

“Can you take a photo of us three? Her friends are still over there,” I asked.

“No problem,” Alaina nodded, taking the camera from the fan.

I smiled a little more as the fan squealed softly, before moving to stand between us. But it was when she shyly put her arms around us that I realised I would have to do the same back, effectively putting my arm around Sean too. Fucking perfect. Gritting my teeth slightly, I did so, my arm stretching across his shoulders, my hand on his shoulder and my fingertips resting on his skin.

Fuck.

His skin is still as soft and warm as I remember it to be. I couldn’t stop my fingers tracing slight patterns, and Sean immediately goosebumped, his fingers digging into my shoulderblade where they were resting. Damn, when did he put his arm around me? Fuck, I’ve got to ignore the urge to just pounce on him and have my dirty way with him here and now. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“Okay, I think I’ve turned it on,” Alaina giggled, “Ready?”

I broke out of my thoughts in time to smile at the camera and focus, the flash going brightly. Sean took his arm away from me straight away, making me frown slightly, so I slowly dragged my fingertips across his back. I didn’t miss the slight shudder his body gave, or the way he bit his bottom lip as he looked up at me, but I was torn away from him by the fan giving me a quick hug. I smiled and hugged her back, and by the time Alaina had given the fan her camera back, Sean was already sitting at his table again.

Fuck.

“Is everything okay, Ian?” Alaina asked softly, resting her hand on my forearm.

“Yeah, just fucking peachy,” I muttered, smiling weakly.

“Huh. Well you know where I am when you want to talk,” she shrugged.

I sighed. “Thanks, doll,” I said, kissing her forehead.

Alaina smiled up at me before walking back over to her spot behind the tables. I swallowed heavily as I sat back down, avoiding looking over at Sean, no matter how much I wanted to. This is so beyond the point of fucked up now. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Why do I always have to fuck everything up?