The Joke's on Me

So we're going to record probably a week from now. That's what Gav says at least. I really have no clue.

My phone buzzes a minute later.

Because you are clueless, Sean. :p Sure, yeah, that's cool. I guess I'll be getting to learn that song now, ehy?

I roll my eyes and grin. Ian's such a dick.

Fuck you. I'm still in my boxers in my bed. I'm tired. You'd be too. XD I'll ask Gav again later. I just told him to get out like, a minute ago. Haha.

Gladly. (; Mmmm, half naked Sean? You're getting me a hot and bothered. (; Just kidding. Hahaha. Alright. I'll see you later. Can't wait! It's going to be loads of fun. :]

Ian makes me so giddy. Like a little girl. To say that I don't have a crush on Ian would mean I'm lying. He's one of my best mates, but, come on. The guy is gorgeous, funny, smart, and ridiculously contagious when it comes to laughter.

Pervert. Dx You're just a fuckin' tease. See you.

I drop the phone on my pillow and roll over onto my back. I grin at the ceiling.

"What are you grinning at you twat?"

I look over at the doorway. Gavin is standing, eyebrows raised. I grin at him and he catches sight of my phone. "Texting Ian again?"

I chew on my lower lip and turn away, burying my face in my pillow. "No." I mumble. Gavin's the only one who knows about me liking Ian. I really don't trust anyone else. Maybe I could tell Luke, but after a while, I know he'll probably just crack and blurt it.

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying."

"You're lying right now."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Are not!"

"Shut the hell up, Sean."

I turn and look at him and pout. "You're an asshole." I grumble. He looks at me knowingly. "Okay, okay. Geeze. Yeah, I was texting Ian. But we were just talking about the tour and about when we record and shit. Alright? Take a chill pill."

He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. "We record on Monday next week."

I shrug. "What's your point?"

"Tell your lover boy."

"Fuck you."

"No thanks."

I get up out of the bed and shove him out. "Geddit out you stupid motherfucker."

"But I just got in! Look man, I just want to go out. I don't wanna stay in and be all cooped up around your rents all day."

I whine. "Please don't make me. I don't want to go out right now. Doesn't your bed sound all nice and warm and inviting?"

"No."

I fall back on my bed dramatically, hair flopping in my face. "Fine. Be hardass. Get out so I can get ready at least." I whine. He fists pumps in the air and walks out, slamming the door behind him.

I inch off the bed, and fall with a loud thud on the ground. I grunt and drag myself to the bathroom on all fours and grab the ledge of the sink to hoist myself up. The first thing I say when I look at myself in the mirror is, "I look like someone pulled me out of the trashcan."

"I say you do too."

I jump and look over. Mum is standing in the doorway holding a bunch of dirty clothes. "Holy fuck mum. Ever heard of knocking!? Is there no such thing as privacy here!?"

"Nope."

"You act just like Gavin. No wonder you two get along so well." I grumble, rubbing my face. She laughs and bustles in, grabbing my jacket. I look at myself in the mirror and look at my mustache. I've grown quite attached to it lately. I did NoShavember, and then I went and kept it till December, and then I've decided not to part ways with it. Sure, that's all the beard I got- disappointing really, but whatever. I'm proud of myself.

"Should I shave off Mr. Mustache?"

"Excuse me?"

"Mr. Mustache. Should I shave him?"

Mum gives me the "Shut-the-hell-up-Sean-and-don't-be-such-a-dumbass" look. I pout and rub at the mustache. She rolls her eyes, slaps the back of my head, and kisses my cheek before walking out.

"I love you too!" I yell as she slams the door.

Mum is a cruel person.