The Joke's on Me

What.

A.

Cunt.

Ian took my idea. That old fartbag took my idea of flirting. I’m going to show him… I make him nervous too. Don’t forget that Ian Watkins. And I’m going to make you remember.

;

“IAN WAS TOTALLY FLIRTING WITH YAH.” Gavin yells as soon as he walks out to get coffee. I run over and slap my hand over his mouth and drag him over to the side. For some odd reason, no one else heard him. Maybe because I’m so freaked out is the reason why Gav’s voice seemed to magnify twenty times its normality.

“Shut the fuck up mate. What do you think you’re doing!? No one else knows.” I hiss, pinching him hard. He winces and struggles out of my grip.

“Calm the fuck down. No one cares even if they did know. Everyone knows you’ve got the hots for Watkins. Besides. Rhys walked into you staring at that picture of him licking some dude’s cock on the internet. The one plastered all over the place?”

My cheeks flushed red. I had just found the picture, it was so random. I’ll admit that I was Google imaging Ian, but that picture popped up, and I didn’t know what it was until I had maximized it.

I wished that was my dick.

“It was on accident.” I mumble, shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure.” he smirks with that stupid, “Gavin-knows-everything-because-Gavin-is-omnipotent” look. I want to punch it off his face.

“Shut up. It fucking was. Okay, I’ll admit, I was looking up pictures of him, but that just came up. I swear on my dead fish’s grave.”

Gavin rolls his eyes. “Whatever. In any case. He was totally flirting with you just now. I saw him bite your ear.” He says smartly, crossing his short arms.

Midget.

I nod. “I know. It’s because of yesterday. Now he knows, and he’s getting back at me. But I’m not going to let him get away with this. We’re both on the same boat now. I need your help. I need to brush up on my flirting skills, an-“

“I’m not going to let you see if you can get me to have a boner, Sean. As much as I love you and all.” He interrupts, looking appalled.

I stare at him incredulously. “You stupid fucker. I didn’t mean that. I just need tips on flirting. You’re not even my type. You’re too short. So short it’s a turn off.” I smirk. He pouts. “Just kidding.” I laugh, ruffling his short hair. He rolls his eyes.

“Right. So how are we going to do this? Let’s see… you’ve already tried the thigh thing. And he’s bitten your earlobe already and touched your hip…” I stare at him. “I’m very observant, Sean, contrary to popular belief. I’m not an idiot.”

I nod and blush. I wonder if he’s noticed anything else. Fuck. What if he’s heard me wanking off or something? How embarrassing.

Gavin continues. “You could probably reach over him or something and brush over him. And you could accidentally touch his crotch or his ass. That’s the best I can think of. Really.” He says. I don’t know if I can do this. I might pass out. Flirting with Ian makes me feel like I’m playing with fire. I don’t know if he’s going to be nervous or right out sexual. Like before. I almost choked on my own spit and died when he did that. “Just sit by him when he comes back from getting everyone’s coffee. I’ll distract everyone.”

“How?”

“No idea. I’ll think of something.”

“… Thanks. Gavin. A lot you know. You’re my best mate, and I’m really lucky you know. No one else would probably do this for me.” I laugh nervously, rubbing my nose.

He smiles and hugs me. “Sean, that’s what I’m here for. I know we always fight and stuff, but that’s what makes us good friends. I’m just doing what you would do for me too. Anyways. You do owe me for doing this for you.” he grins. I laugh.

“I know man, I know.”

He laughs and nods, looking over at the door. “Here he comes. Good luck, Sean. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” he winks, walking away. I grin and breathe out, before walking away from the corner.

Ian’s passing out coffee to everyone, and then plops down on the far end of the couch, propping his feet up. I shuffle over nervously behind him, hoping he doesn’t see me. And then I heard Gavin scream, “HOLY FUCK. MY FINGER.” he howls. Everyone rushes over to him and there’s huge hoarde of The Blackout boys. I’m the only one who doesn’t go over. Ian tries to see, but there’s too many people surrounding Gavin, and so he sighs, looking slightly worried before going back down, a little more alert.

I sit down beside him. He looks over. “Your mate okay?”

“I don’t know. Can’t tell. Too many people. It’s like flies to honey.” I laugh. “I’m sure he’s alright though. He’s just a drama queen.” I laugh. Ian grins. My stomach does backflips. Typical.

We don’t talk for a minute, and it’s kind of awkward. The only thing we can hear is,

“Fuck, let me see it Gav. I need to check to see if you’ve sliced your fucking finger off or something.”

“No. Don’t touch it.” Gavin whines. “It hurts.”

“What did you do!?”

“I don’t fucking know! It just… sliced open.” Gavin exaggerates.

I laugh quietly.

“Can I have some of your coffee?” I ask Ian. He looks over and nods, looking at Gavin still. I lean over, and bend my elbow, brushing against Ian’s crotch, and grabbing the coffee of the end table. I feel him stiffen, and I smirk inwardly, moving back, again, brushing against him. I glance at him out of the corner of my eyes, and his face is tight.

Hope I didn’t go too far.

But he doesn’t say anything. His fingers and gripping onto his knees. I take a sip and put it down on the coffee table. I turn to him but he doesn’t look at me. I raise an eyebrow and smirk, moving a little closer.

“Now, Ian, do I make you nervous?” I ask the same question and his face drains of any color it once had. “Do you like when I do that?” I ask, placing a hand delicately on his thigh. It’s quivering slightly, and I laugh inwardly.

And then suddenly, he grabs my hand and pushes it off and shifts till he can put both his hands on either side of my face.

“Yes. You make me nervous. But do I? You never answered when I asked you earlier.” he whispers hotly in my ear. I gulp. Stupid fucker. I guess he caught on that I’m like putty when he’s like this. “Do you like that?” he murmurs against my ear, rubbing the scruff on his chin on my cheek. I shiver and I grab the front of his shirt and pull him closer. He moves his face so that it’s less than an inch from mine. His lips are cherry red, plump, and just aching, begging to be ravaged. He has that amazingly sexy smirk adorning his features and I feel like I’m about to lose it.

“Do you really wan-“

“Holy mother of love. What are you two doing!?” Snoz suddenly yells. Ian jumps, knocking our heads together slightly and quickly resumes his original position.

Both our faces are painted red. I feel like my cheeks just might melt off.

“N-nothing.” I stammer, straightening my shirt. Ian coughs and looks away nervously.

I catch Gavin’s eye. He looks at my sheepishly. His eyes are telling me, “Sorry. Couldn’t think of anything else to keep them distracted.”

“I just er… had a paper cut.” He mumbles, scratching his arm.

I sigh.

That’s alright Gavin. Maybe next time.