The Dating Rules of a Record Label

I will never, ever go on BLOGWORTHY.COM.

Never

It's just a load of rubbish and everybody knows that.

Except for the dimwitted- this takes up about 50% of the population.

At the moment, Yumi is at work and I am doing nothing. I did go shopping for groceries though, and I did have a meeting with Karlie and Galen. Everyone congratulate me- I now have a guest appearance on the PAUL O'GRADY SHOW. That dude cracks me up!

As I make my bed (weird- I know), someone phones me. And the ring tone is something by Britney Spears. Therefore it's my mother.

"Hi Mom," I sigh as I fall on my pile of pillows, completely messing up my bed from its barely-there perfection.

"Hi Kaya, my child, how are you?" I can hear a man laughing in the background as I look at the phone in my hand and mouth, "my child?"

My mom is obviously getting over my dad. Its funny- she was a complete mess last time I saw her after my graduation. Really! She wore no makeup and ignored her sacred gym which took 6 months to complete and add to her mansion in Beverly Hills. She once forgot to take a curler out of her hair.

"Mom you sound like a Sister from the Catholic church."

"Oh do I?" She giggles in a high voice. Yes- now I definitely know there is a man trying to court my mom. If he's younger I'm going to freak.

"Mom, what is so lovely that you had to call me when you're clearly on a date?" I roll my eyes.

"Well Karlie told me about you dating this Dougie- is that his name?"

"Yes mom." Please no sex advice.

"And don't worry I know not to tell anyone, not even your father."

"Mom he already knows, I told him last night." Do I sound like I favor my dad over my mom? I don't really take sides but when my mom acts like she's 21 again, I kind of get annoyed.

"So congratulations honey on the new relationship!" She cheers. Phew! No unwanted sex advice or bad news.

"And another thing- my assistant found a blog about you."

Oh king of crap holes.

"Really, about what?" I'm trying not to scream out loud.

"Not sure but she's sending it to you via email. Listen, Kaya as much as I would like to help you stop rumors, I must go. I'll call you later; bye!" And she hangs up before I could say goodbye back, leaving a man's charismatic voice echoing in my ears from the background at my mom's place.

"It is official! Kaya Sambora and a gorgeous mystery man have got it going on! Who is she with this time...and who is she with for good? Insiders say he's British. Well no surprise there! After her nasty breakup with then boyfriend of a year, Liam (Los Angeles), Kaya probably is looking for something different. After all, Liam and Kaya were dating for about a year and we could all tell that he was quite boring for her taste. Plus dear Liam looked like some prep from a prestigious boarding school. And that is definitely not Kaya's taste. She's more of the rock n party type of girl and most likely, she's pulled a hot boy from a rock band. I narrowed it down to the top three bands she could be connected with: Blondelle. Daisy Lowe is in a relationship with their Will Cameron JR; why can't Kaya steal one of Blondelle's hearts as well? After all, there was more than smiling at Henry Holland's little get-together last night. It was reported by one of my insiders at the party that Richie Sambora's little girl got quite close with ALL four Blondelle members. Oh and did I mention that Miss Lowe was not at the party? On to band number two: McFLY. Yes, Kaya has her sights set on Britain’s cutest pop rock band. It was all over the web and magazines- Kaya in Barbados....drunk as Ozzy Osbourne is high. McFLY was on the island too around the same time. And many shots were taken of Kaya and McFLY having a friendly chat at the beach. Then there was ONE small shot of Kaya and Dougie Poynter having a good time together at a pub. But don't count on that K & D relationship. Lovely Liam was still in the picture. Band number three: Fightstar! And yes we're talking about a McFLY friend- Charlie Simpson. And who do we think about whenever I mention the tall hot boy? Busted. Yes....may Busted rest in peace. I heard from an insider that the two exchanged numbers and briefly hugged. Aw...how sweet! I'll be updating more as Kaya Sambora pulls more boys by the minute! But for now- I'm going to soak in a bubble bath."

Oh merde!! I am like on the verge of a tantrum. A wild, cross the line one! How dare they talk about my past-relationship with Liam? And Daisy Lowe and I are friends. Plus I never even hung out with Blondelle that day. I was too busy trying to find Nae (who I invited to come with me) who had a pack of tampons in her purse. Yes I had a little leak...

Okay I don't deny that I was drunk in Barbados. And so what if I hung out with McFLY at the beach? I thought Dougie was hot. And that whole Fightstar and Charlie Simpson stuff- complete junk. I never even met the dude.

The first thing I do is call Natasha. My hand is shaking I'm so annoyed.

Natasha answers and the first thing she says before I can complain is, "Kaya don't get your thong in a bunch."

I forget my perfect complaint speech and drop my jaw, "I'm not wearing a thong!"

I'm not exactly wearing granny panties either.

"I tried finding the writer of Blogworthy.com." Natasha says.

"And? Who's the butthead that's trying to ruin my life..and my relationship with Dougie?" I sit on the carpeted floor and stretch my legs- they were cramped.

"No clue- there isn't even an ounce of info about the creators."

I groan, "Damn..."

"Sorry, love."

"But the rumors are FAKE! Except the Dougie one but if anyone asks- no comment."

**********************************************************************************************

After I called Karlie because the 'rules' told me to, I went over to Dougie's apartment he shared with Tom. The weather was wet and dreary. I'm in shorts which could cause people to stare based on how opposite I am from the weather thus bringing attention to myself- at Dougie's flat. And it's not like I had a choice. All my jeans are in the wash.

I cautiously walk up to the complex, James Bond music mixing in with Austin Powers music in my head, and press the little buzzer thing and press in Dougie and Tom's code.

It makes that annoying buzz sound. It reminds me of detention- the detention classroom back in school had a weird clock that buzzed. It sounded like someone was dying, really.
"Who rings the mighty buzzer of Poynter and Fletcher?" I hear Tom's voice bark. Then I hear muttering as I look at the intercom weird, "Dude you left my boxers out to dry on the fan?"

I laugh, "How is it you two are so cheap that you guys can't put your boxers in a dryer?"

"Hey Doug it's your girlfriend!" Tom screams at Dougie.

"Ow I'm right next to you Tom! And don't bloody leave her out in the rain! Let her in!" Dougie shouts. I smile as rain starts to pour heavily.

Then I hear shuffling and random words like 'Dude!' or 'ow!' or 'move it!' and this is my favorite, 'You stink Tom.' Then I hear Dougie laugh, "Hi Kaya," through the intercom.

"Hi Dougie," I giggle.

Then I hear buzzing again and I get access to inside the building- where it's warm and dry.
I take the elevator to the 3rd floor.

I'm caught off guard when Dougie opens the door to the flat and greeted me with a big hug as he twirls me around in his arms. I laugh as I hold him tight like we haven't seen each other in ages.

"You're all wet!" He kisses me quickly.

"Yeah I know- I didn't bring a hoodie," I wave at Tom who was cooking some yummy smelling pasta.

"You can wear one of mine." He takes my hand and led me to his room.

"I need a towel too. My hair is soaked," I laugh as I first see his room. It wasn't as messy as I thought it would be. Posters were up everywhere though and he had a massive, messy CD collection.

"But I like it when you're soaked." He kisses me softly as I close the door.

"mmmm not in front of your lizard," I whisper.

"What- Zukie wouldn't mind," Dougie smiles and hands me a hoodie. It was too big on me but I loved it- plus it smelled extremely good!

Man talk about getting high off of happiness.

"Can I hold him?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think he'll love you."

"Aw I think I'll love him too!" I giggle as we observe Zukie sleeping.

"Oh just so you know, I'm having a little problem with a blogger starting up rumors so..." I shift my weight uncomfortably.

"Yeah I know, don't believe any crap they say. I won't. I trust you." He lightly kisses me as I pet Zukie on the head. It looks like he's enjoying the message I'm giving him.

Then after playing around with Zukie, I found myself kissing Dougie while Zukie rested on his shoulder. Dougie then puts Zukie back in his cage and Dougie and I cuddle and play handsie (like footsie but with hands!).

"You're hair smells good," Dougie quietly says as we rest on his comfy bed. We were listening to the soft pattering of rain on the windows and fading thunder off in the distance.

I'm too enveloped in his warm hoodie to open my eyes. I scoot in closer to Dougie's body as he wraps his arms around me, "Your hoodie smells good. You smell good too."

"We're weird- talking about smelling things," Dougie giggles- yes. He has a cute giggle! It's quite sexy really.

I laugh, "It is weird. But I'm enjoying this zen state. I'm too calm to get up," I open my eyes and Dougie is looking at me.

"What?" I smile.

"Nothing," He grins and he kisses me. I kiss back as he runs a hand up my leg.
Shivers baby...

Then we hear this big bang on the door.

"Dude! You two stop snogging! Danny, Harry, and Yumi are here now!"

"Damn," We both say.

************************************************************************************************

"Any new news today anyone?" Harry asked as we hung out in the family room. I was cuddled up with Dougie...again.

"New news...ha..." Dougie snickers.

"Oh!" Yumi gets all excited. She even raises her hand like we're still in school, "My mum got a new puppy!"

"Aw...what kind?" I ask.

"A small one!" She smiles happily.

"Uh..." I try not laughing, "A small one."

"Yeah!" She smiles.

"Dude I meant what breed!" I laugh, "Not size!"

Yumi thinks for a bit, "Oh..."

We all laugh at her act of dumbness we all inherit from our parents.

Things get crazy an hour later after a couple beers. Danny, Tom, Harry and I are having fun. We're acting crazy and Harry stuffed his pants with crisps as a dare.

Haha...he said they itched him...HA!

Tom has one of those buzzy whistle things- Kaboozies or whatever. He started to play 'Girlfriend' with it.

"Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend!" I sing on the coffee table, following Tom's beat.

"No way no way! I think you need a new one!" Danny shakes his bootie.

Harry is partially singing, partially trying to get the crisps out of his pants. I don't see why he can't just go to the bathroom and fix his pants there. Then again, he's partially tipsy.

Thank goodness I'm not.

Danny, Harry, Tom and I start head banging and crazy dancing while Dougie and Yumi tape it.

"You getting me close up, Dougie?" Danny laughs as he and I do the cha cha slide. I feel so hyper that I can feel the sugar boil inside me. This is fun. But let’s hope it doesn't turn out to be like my last 'dance video.'

Yeah that was fun day...

I remember when I was 16, my friends and I were doing the same thing in French class (but we weren't drinking). We were 'breaking it down' and crazy dancing. And we didn't know my other friend was videotaping it with his camera. Dude he totally got me on tape trying to get my wedgie out! Like my ass was facing him and he got one hundred percent total view of my hand and my butt!

"Haha Danny is doing the chicken!" I laugh as Danny does this weird thing with his arm pulling his leg. I call it the chicken- where you pull one leg back and forth and put your other hand behind your head. It's a very popular move amongst freaky people like me and Danny.
"Look at this, guys!" He says like a nerd. Then he sort of trips, then trips all the way, "Ha! This is fun- ouch!"