The Dating Rules of a Record Label

<<I wouldn't really consider little Sambora slutty. Just a tease. For example: I caught Kaya sneaking off with some rich lad from Italy. ah...she likes the pasta lovers. He's like some heir to a large company or something. Gorgeous he was I may add. The teasing occurred at Lil Chris's album launch. Kaya was spotted having a chat with him the moment he stepped into that loud, Lil Chris-ified room. I guess she likes heirs AND younger artists. I bet this Italian bloke is a keeper of our Kaya's little heart! I did some research...he loves lizards! Get this: He owns a mini zoo just full of the creatures! And apparently, Kaya likes lizards too. It won't be long before she starts staying over at his fifteen room mansion in southern Italy, playing with his lizard (ahem...). Or, our new Italian hottie is known to jet set off to Greece for a little holiday. Go Kaya go! Go with him! Now turn to the next page for pictures of celebs including McFLY, Green day, Girls Aloud, Chris Doyle, Kesh, and Emma Watson at the album launch event!>>

"That bitch!" I scream, actually quite close to tears.

"What? What's wrong?" Dougie walks into my room with a clean shirt on. We just had a food fight in the kitchen. And the place was still a mess. There was a banana peel on Yumi's Picasso painting.

"That..." I point at the computer with a shaky finger. I bet I look like I'm on crack or something. I'm pale, my hair is a mess, I'm only in my underwear and I'm wearing a dirty tee-shirt with dried foot stains on it. I'm wearing no makeup whatsoever too.

Dougie briefly looks at my panties then turns his gaze to the computer.

"Oh..." He frowns. I begin pacing around the room. Natasha has been working her ass off trying to find out who the blogger is. Nae (whom Oliver claims her to be computer genius) couldn’t even hack into the creator's personal page. We have no idea who can be so near and so quiet to me yet can keep a low profile and still get lots of information. Why can't they just tell the world my boyfriend is Dougie and get it over with? The subtle hints relating to Dougie is killing me.

Dougie walks over to the computer and shuts it down, "We don't need this shit like that." He walks to me. I cross my arms and look away, too aggravated for my own good. He rubs my arms. Okay so that makes me a bit calmer.

"Are you upset?" He asks me quietly. I can hear Yumi singing to herself in the shower in the next room. I wish she would shut up.

Am I upset? I'm fucking seething angry!

"I'm freaking pissed off," I mumble.

Dougie sees my sad face, and takes me into a warm hug. I wrap my arms around his neck and inhale his scent.

"Don't be sad. You look vulnerable," He mumbles as he hugs me, "And don't pay attention to that blog. It's evil and rubbish."

I look up at him, "But it's so hard! I get so angry because I'm not with some Italian dude! I'm with you! I'm with you Dougie! And it's aggravating that I can't tell anyone I'm with this amazing guy...and...and..." I begin to stutter. I hope I don't bite my tongue or anything. Dougie can do that but if I do it to myself, I'll hurt myself and start to bleed.

Dougie slightly laughs as he takes my face in his hands. He caresses my cheek and looks into my eyes.

"What's so funny?"I shiver since I'm only in a shirt and panties.

"You're cute when you're annoyed."

"Dougie," I sigh and close my eyes.

"Kaya ignore what people say. Their opinion doesn't matter in our relationship. No one's opinion matters," He begins to kiss my cheek, my neck, and then my lips. I calm down. His soft yet hard rough hands lightly message my back.

"You're right," I give up and turn my intentions to kissing him rather than be upset. His soft lips on mine calm me down to the extreme. I feel like jelly on wire.

But I do admit, feeling Dougie's jeans against my bare legs and panties felt foreign. But it was a good type of foreign feeling!

**********

"Sweet!" Yumi does the happy pee-pee dance, “My own office! Bye bye cubicle-ville!" She sings. She opens the blinds to see the city of London around her.

Home

She also felt at home, napping on Danny's couch whenever she came over to visit him.
He's been quiet lately around Yumi. And Yumi was in turn quiet around him as well because she thought he was upset at her which made her stay away which made Danny think Yumi was angry with him when she really wasn't. Basically it was "He thought she thought" type of thing.

I should tell him," Yumi says to herself, using her new set of privacy rules. She can now talk to herself.

"Tell who what?" A familiar voice asks. Yumi jumps like she's been through an electrical fence and turns around.

He basically takes her breath away when she locked her eyes on him.

"Danny! You scared me." Yumi laughs and quickly hugs him.

"Sorry," He smiles sheepishly, "So tell who?"

"Oh...just to tell my cousin that I'm sorry for making fun of him the other night.

"Oh," He replied. Silence...

"What are you doing here?" She asks, after the silent moment, nervous beyond the ability of being nervous.

"I wanted to congratulate you one your new office! It's huge!" He laughs.

Yumi smiles, "Thanks! No Dougie, Harry and Tom?"

"No Dougie is still with Kaya. Tom is with Giovanna, and Harry is trying to court this girl he met over the weekend so I decided to see you!"

Yumi smiles at him and clicks her pen out of nervous habit, "You want a drink?"

"Yeah sure you know me," He grins.

Yumi walks over to a drink buffet table to get Danny his favorite tea, but instead, makes a little fall and clumsily makes a small slice in the palm of her hand with a broken glass cup. Way to go Yumi.

***

I feel lonely. And that's ironic because I'm surrounded by some of the most gorgeous people ever. Apparently a new Indiana Jones movie attracts Kate Winslet.

I still secretly call her Rose.

Anyways, I am absolutely alone. Dougie couldn't go to this premiere. Neither he nor McFLY were invited.

Yeah...I know. Who in their right minds would skip Danny, Dougie, Tom and Harry?

After taking pictures (loads of them! I see stars now! Human and little sparkly things!) and signing some autographs (I was told by a thirty-four year old mother to tell my dad that she thought he was bloody fit and he has nice piece of ass), I walk to some journalists.

However I can't concentrate properly. I'm shocked with horror that my father's fatherly butt is rated. I honestly did not need to know what women think of my dad's body.

"Hi," I say shyly and smile.

"Kaya Sambora lovely to see you again!" A man pipes up.

"Huh?" I put on a slightly confused look. Again? Then I look at the man closer.

Well Damnit!

It's the dude who interviewed me at the album launch. He doesn't have his walking mustache on.

"Oh! You're the man with the w-" I honestly do talk too much, "Nevermind," I blush.

"Excited for the new adventure?" He once again shoves a mike in my face. It's so close I can see the spit particles on it.

"Yeah I am!" I smile again. The man's hair is walking now.

Once inside the large movie cinema, I run into the ladies room since I had to pee so badly. Plus I had to pass the popcorn machines to get to the toilet and I wanted to get a whiff of the yummy stuff.

Oh it smells so good!

I can smell the warm butter! I'm so hungry! I can eat a cow!

As long as it doesn't have mad cow disease.

I was so busy day-dreaming about popcorn; I didn't know I nearly walked into the men's room. It was only when the men's room yucky smell caught my attention.

Too late- I was already inside.

An old man who looked like a raison was looking at me weird as I stood in shock. He was staring at me with his glasses.

While he was tinkling.

Thankgod I couldn't see his um...little old man.

I bet it looked like a prune aswell!

"Erm...hi?" I nervously laugh.

The old man keeps looking at me. He's glaring actually. And he's still peeing.

"Wrong room!" I suppress a laugh and run out.

I'm such a loser.

Finally, I find the restroom meant for girls. I'm nearly about to explode at this point. My legs are crossed.

And what do you know- every single stall is occupied. It's like I hear a rush of pee all at once which is disturbing as hell.

You know when your bladder is going to explode and you take deep breaths like in labor?

Yeah, I was doing that.

It was fun.

Everyone is still tinkling away....

While I waited and did the pee-pee dance, a women with a posh accent talks.

"Eliza did you hear that Richard Sambora's daughter is here?"

I freeze like a rabbit.

"Why yes I did see her by the concessions. She's lost weight and now it's like she's trying to put back on the fat!"

I have fat?

"Poor girl," tinkle tinkle, "stuck in the middle of her parent's divorce."

"No wonder she ran to Barbados to get drunk." Another woman sighs.

"I heard she slept with a Hurley Davidson biker who looks like Johnny Depp!"

There's more peeing.

Am I seriously hearing this? I thought about going back out but I had to go!

"How embarrassing! That family is full of scandal! Richard had an affair with Heather's best friend Denise!"

And this is where I get protective. He never did hook up with her.

"That skank!"

Bitch

"That man-whore!"

Slut bag

"Ladies," more tinkling, "I heard the scandal goes way back!"

Crap

"I heard Heather was caught with some oil typhoon in Italy when her daughter Kaya was caught having sex in the backseat of a car with that oil typhoon's son...when she was just fifteen!"

No! Not true! Well yes my part was true...and I regret it but my mother never cheated on my dad.

I couldn't handle this anymore. My parents divorced because apparently they are too different from each other. They go way back to when they were young like Dougie and I. And their love was gone after years of marriage and commitment.

I mumble, "I'll just pee in a pot of plants in a hall way."

****

"Yumi are you okay?" Danny quickly rushes to the 'wounded' Yumi.

"Ow! Yeah I'm fine," She puts on a fake smile. Her fake smile makes her look like she's in pain though.

"Let me see," Danny says grabbing her palm slightly.

"It's no big deal," Yumi replied faintly. Blood makes her squeamish. And Danny makes her nervous.

Squirmish-nervous!

Danny checks out her palm; then he looks at her, "Yumi this cut is huge and deep!" He lightly touches the wound.

Yumi takes an intake of breath sharply.

"Sorry!" Danny lets go of her hand, thinking he hurt her.

"No! No it's alright..." Yumi sits down a chair, "I need a band aid."

She better not be pulling that 'it's nothing I'm a warrior' crap! It's one hundred percent clear she's a bit teary eyed.

Blood slowly starts to ooze out of the gash.

"We should take you to a doctor," Danny begins to say.

"No Danny!" She pipes up. "I mean, the press will think something happened to you," She bites her lip.

"Oh..." Danny thinks for a moment, "Well let me at least wrap it up and clean it," He softly takes her hand again. Danny took a course in first aid once. Well...that's what he said once while drunk. So we're not really sure.

After he slowly and cautiously cleaned the wound and bandaged it with the help of a first aid kit, he kissed Yumi's hand quickly and lightly.

"There! All better1" He chuckles.

Yumi was used to Danny kissing her hand because that's what he always did when she got hurt.

Most of the time, her injuries were on purpose- just to feel Danny's lips on her skin.

But he did it in a friendly way only which Yumi wished was something more.

"Thanks," She smiles. She could just kiss him right now if she wanted to. His face was so close to hers as she sat in a chair and Danny was on one knee still tending to her wounded hand. She watched him work silently. Yumi thought about kissing him now. But she didn't want to look like a freak and then Danny would let go of her hand and everything would be awkward.

The temptation was murder! The silence was unnaturally quiet too. The whole office building was out for lunch.

"Danny." Yumi said too casually.

"Yeah," he made a cheeky grin, still touching up her hand.

"You're a good friend," That pained her to say. After all, they will always be friends.

Danny looks up at her and slightly frowns.

"Just friends?" He quietly asks. He looks into her eyes.

Gulp

That was unexpected.

Yumi tried breathing, "Best Friends then?"

Danny's gaze is piercing as he looks at her.

"Yumi," He whispers and moves a blonde strand of hair from her soft ivory face.

He was so close to her now. The heat was scorching.

"Yes?" She whispers.

He didn't say anything.

But he softly kisses her instead.

****

I get home at a very late hour. I was tired. I really did not want to go to that premiere.

"Yumi dear I'm home," I sing quietly to myself. I heard the 'I Love Lucy' song and I couldn't stop bouncing around and imitation Lucy in the limo.

I walk into the condo. Why are the lights dimmed low? I turn on the lights.

And what I see nearly makes me trip but I replaced it with an evil grin.

Haha...I want to point and jump excitedly but I can't because I'm wearing heels.

Danny and Yumi sitting in a tree...

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

They're snogging on MY sofa. And they obviously didn't hear me come in. How should I surprise them?

I start bopping my head sideways left to right like a loser.

"Go Yumi! It's your birthday! Get your freak on! Oh yeah! uh-huh..." I continue to dance my way to the couch. I shake my hips and pull my leg.

Danny jumps up quicker than superman, "CPR! She wasn't breathing," He blushes.

I stop dancing and look at him weird.

Stupid boy

Yumi coughs, "I'm alive," a little too late for CPR.

Oh honestly! Her lips are so puckered up they look sore!

"Danny cut it out you were totally molesting her and she liked it," I say and take off my winter coat. It's like a blizzard out there! But without the snow. It's early December.

Danny frowns, thinking of another poor excuse.
His shirt is unbuttoned.

Ha! Now they know how Dougie and I feel when we're interrupted!

"I should go," Danny smiles and gets up.

"No don't!" She grabs his arm and glares at me. Clearly, I'm not wanted.

"Yeah stay here," I think of something to do at midnight, "I'll go hand with Giovanna or something. She's teaching me how to cook you know," I begin to get on my large coat again.
It was so heavy!

"No I really do must go. We have an interview tomorrow at six in the morning," He kisses Yumi once more and gets up.

"Yeah Dougie ditched me for that too so don't worry Yumi," I say casually.

"Actually he's really out getting your Christmas present." He grins at me and walks out the door.

"Oh..." I put a hand on my hip as Yumi watches me carefully.

"What?" I ask as she gets up and walks to the kitchen.

"Nothing. I'm waiting for you to tease me." She gets out some tea.

I lean on the counter, "No I'm too tired," I say, "I'll do it tomorrow."

"Okay," She's quiet. Too quiet. Like she's shocked quiet.

"What's wrong?" I tug her short hair.

"Nothing," She tries to suppress a smile.

"So when did this happen?"

"In my new office," She said simply.

"Oh...on the desk?" I ask. I'm not really stupid when it comes to this. I observe her. I see love bites on her neck and her skin is flushed a soft red.

"Yeah naturally," She waves around. "We snogged on the desk."

I roll my eyes, "Dude you totally had sex with him in your office on your desk!" I laugh.

"What?" She blushes, "No we didn't." Her ears turn red which means she's lying.

"You're not wearing panties."

"Kaya!" She laughs, "Yes I am!"

"Yeah right," I snort, "Fifty pounds they're in your office. You're wearing those nice tight office pants that outline your underwear. You're not wearing any panties though."

"You're not wearing any either!" She points out at me. I feel the breeziness (ha!) and nakedness down under.

"I know I'm not," I shrug, "One socialite dared me to take them off before the after party," I smile. Although no one saw thankfully.

"Where are they?" She asks.

"I think they're in the bathroom somewhere back at the party," I think about it for a moment.

"Slut."

"Me?" Then I smile, "I'm not the one who just had orgasms on my office desk with a boy in a band."