you're still an innocent

The last few days haven't been that easy. It was hard to escape the stares, the whispers of what people said about you. It was hard to hold in your anger as people verbally abused your one true love. All of it hurt. I still couldn't get the game out of my mind. You couldn't even escape it on TV, in the papers. It was everywhere.

I sat on the edge of Ryan's bed as he packed up some stuff. He going to London to play the knights with the spitfires tonight. It was his first game back from the tournament and I was nervous to see how he was going to react.

"Do you have anything?"

"I think so." He said as he sat beside me.

I placed my head on his shoulder and he pushed my bangs away from my face. I was honestly terrified at what would happen to him when he goes away. He won't have me or his parents to keep him grounded. He'll be alone. He's the worst when he's alone. He just lets his anger eat at him and he finally breaks and does something stupid. I was still scared a repeat of last year was going to happen.

"Are you sure you wanna play tomorrow?"

"I have to. I'm the captain and all."

"I know. I'm just worried that ... nevermind." I said as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

"What?" His blue eyes were begging for me to say it, but I couldn't, "Ally, tell me."

"I'm just worried that with you being on the ice, it's gunna bring it all back to you. I don't want you to hurt over this anymore." I replied as tears were forming in my eyes.

"That won't happen okay? I can promise you that." He eagerly assured me as he held the side of my face, "I want you to stop worrying about it, I can see it's eating you up. I hate this. I want us to be the way we were before this tournament, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded.

He grew serious as he gently kissed me. I felt those shakes inside of me yet again as the kiss deepened for a second. As he broke apart from me, our eyes locked for a mere second. It felt like time had slowed down.

"I have to go."

"Okay, be safe."

He half smiled as he brushed my cheek with his finger, "I will. I love you"

"I love you too."

He grabbed his suitcase and headed out into the living room. I followed behind him before he went out the front door. Another wash of worry hit me as I watched his car lights fade as I got into my own car and slowly drove home.

"Please stay safe ..."

I listened to the game that night as I finished up my homework. It was hard to focus on my homework at all. I ended up pushing it away from me as I lied on my bed listening to the sounds of the game. Some sick sour feeling was felt in my stomach as the game ended 5-3 for the Knights. The same score of that game I never wanted to think about again.

I thought about phoning Ryan and leaving him a message or something, but I'm sure he wanted space. Plus, he said he didn't want me to worry. I ended up crawling into bed and falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I still didn't hear from him. I showered and got dressed. I finished up my breakfast and drove towards my school. I wasn't looking forward to it, mind you. But there was nothing I could do about it. Maybe it will keep my mind off Ryan.

Or maybe not.

As I walked into my Physics class. My phone vibrated in my hoodie pocket. I was sick to my stomach as I read what was on the screen. It was a text from Ryan's Teammate, Kenny Ryan.

"Ally, you better get down here. Ryan's in jail"