Firedown Sun

Five tallies and seven panic attacks later, the darkness took over.

Shivering, I focused on controlling my breathing. In, out, in, out. I thought about going to sleep, but the fear caused by the lack of light stopped me from doing anything other than huddling in my little corner and inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling. Burning with hunger from the inside. And, again, it was a comforting sensation. It let me know I was still alive. And if this was how I could survive, then starving was fine with me. The fiery feeling overwhelming my body because of it was more than okay if it kept me from dying.

My eyes narrowed. The flames shall not hurt thee. Is this what it meant? That you could just convince yourself you weren't hurt by the fire? If hunger had once felt like dying to me but now felt like the only escape I'd ever get out of this cage, did that give me my answer to the long-ago formed question of how to create a harmless fire?

When another panic attack came, I squeezed my eyes shut and let the fear control me. I let my animal-side kick in, that horrible sensation coming from all around me that I was going to be killed at any moment, that I would go insane and thus STILL be killed at any moment, and that no one, not even Lune, would ever come and save me.

I was alone. Forever.

Tears didn't come anymore. I just felt horrified and like a little kid during their first thunderstorm, shaking and sweating as the time passed.

I heard a screeching noise that didn't help the attack at all. They're coming, I thought. They're coming to take me away! They're going to kill me! I pressed both hands to my ears and tried to convince myself nothing was wrong. But even I wasn't going to listen to myself. Which part of me was right and which was wrong? I had so many sides now. I could carry my own conversation, my own argument, with no problem.

Screech. Screeeech. I yelled out as something cold and sudden grasped my arm from behind me. Was there a hole in the wall? Was that what the screeching had been? I tried to get out of the monster's grasp. "Let me go!" I screamed. "Leave me alone, I didn't do anything! I'm innocent, I'm innocent!"

"But of course you're innocent. I wouldn't doubt that for a second."

Eyes bursting open and my heart hammering so hard I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die- like that was helping the panic attack come to an end- and my whole body trembling, I stared at who was holding onto me.

Fear left me, replaced by sheer relief. In a matter of seconds, the normal me returned, and I was embarrassed for having thought he was a murderer come to accuse me of my insanity.

"Lune! Lune, Lune, Lune!" I said his name over and over, and no amount of repeating it could echo the relief and joy I felt at seeing his face and feeling his arms around me. I held onto him even closer, tears flooding over my cheeks as I regained the ability to cry.

"It's alright, Kitten. It's going to be okay. We're all going to be okay."

*

"But how could you escape? I thought they were going to..." I trailed off, lowering my gaze. "Baine showed me when your mom came, and then how they dragged you and Hexa off. I never saw what they did to Resh."

"The same as what happened to them. Knocked me out, then carried me off to some sort of prison in the sun. It's crazy up there, Kitten. You should have seen it. It was like a palace, only more scary. There were cages everywhere and guards crawling every centimeter of the hallways."

"So how'd you get out?" I squinted at her, trying to connect all this to what I'd heard already.

They'd been put into some sort of cell, then ran away and came back here. All the men guarding me at Asrid's house were gone for some reason, so they rescued me. Not one of them knew why they were guarding the house and not breaking in to drag me out of the basement. They figured it was just some sort of test, to see if the three of them would really try and save me or not.

Hopefully the leaders got some real entertainment out of it. Otherwise we'd be dead for sure.

"It was all Hexa, really," Lune murmured, pointing to Hexa, who grinned. "She saved us."

"How?"

Hexa pulled her neck chain up for show. She fingered the little charm there and laughed, "Did you ever wonder how I can get in and out of locked places?"

I stared at the chain, then shrugged. "Figures you'd have a lock pick set disguised as JEWELRY. What next? Shoelaces that turn into whips?"

"Aw, that's a great idea, Kitten. Thanks!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, if you need any ideas, just ask me. I've got loads. Maybe just because I get around more. I mean, come on, I'm the one, no one else, that gets trapped down in an old lady's basement for forty three hours and then freaks out at her rescuers because she thinks they're going to kill her. That's definitely the best idea YET."

Lune laughed and reminded me, "You said yet, so you've got some time to come up with a new one."

"Mm. I'll start thinking about it now." I couldn't help but smile, though. "So, how did you get past the guards, then?"

"Simple," Hexa said. "See, this flips into a little dagger, this is a mini shield. Not to mention they let Resh wear the hat even into the prison, which was awesome. She bashed in the face of one of the guards. And then Lune did some wicked roundhouse kicks. It was amazing. Too bad you weren't there."

I watched as she twisted little knobs in all her jewelry, showing their true forms then disguising them again into just little fashion accessories.

"Yes, it sounds like I missed out on a fun adventure."

"But yours is cool, too. Did you really watch us on that robby's screen?"

"Mm-hmm. Which reminds me. Thanks, Lune, for giving him to me. Baine's been really great."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I gave him to you."

We were sitting in the previous rebel hiding place, right off the hospital ruins by the pond. It was unfrozen now. All the snow had melted away, replaced by glaring sunlight and a partly cloudy sky. It was strange to be outside after spending so much time in the dark. I still didn't like the idea of dark, enclosed spaces. If I could have my choice now, I'd choose the sunny outdoors over a lightless room ANY day.

"Okay, who's hungry?" I got to my feet, my stomach grumbling for the second time that night. I'd already gotten some food at Resh's house, where we had headed first because it was the traditional friend-hang-out place. The forest near the ruins was the rebel-hang-out place. Two completely different ideas.

"You want to eat again?" Lune asked, eyebrows raised.

I sighed. "Unfortunately. Who's up for cherry jelly sandwiches?"

"Why cherry?"

Hexa and Resh exchanged a look, which I failed to ignore. It bugged me sometimes how they just expected Lune to know things, which he didn't. Couldn't they cut him a break?

I turned to him and explained, "There used to be a cherry orchard. But they cut it down to build the school. Do you remember it? The trees that stretched on and on for miles, the wonderful smell you could smell three blocks away. I used to go there as a girl, and when they tore it down... Well, I'm still really attached to cherries, see?"

"Oh. Well, why didn't you tell me that before? That's an interesting side of you. Most people wouldn't even know it existed."

Well, of course. Wasn't that the point? Why would I let people in on my cherry-orchard-loving secret? It was just that. A secret. That orchard had been mine.

But that was a while ago. And that was why I never really thought much about it anymore. Because it wasn't a big part of my life anymore. It was just something I missed about Monten.

Lune stood and smiled warmly at me. "Cherry jelly sandwiches it is."

I thanked him, and by the way Resh was smiling in my peripheral vision, I was blushing.

Gosh, having a crush really did suck.