Firedown Sun

You'd think it would be an altogether normal day when I woke up and felt the sun warm up my bare arms. You'd think I would enjoy the soft melody waking me from my dreams. You'd think I would feel appreciative to be out of that basement and in my room again, underneath a blanket that actually got warm.

But something was wrong.

I felt it even before I opened my eyes.

The Waking Song was a modern-day, Monten-approved song. Since when did I listen to THAT? I sat up, eyes wide, and pushed my heating blanket off of me. Suddenly the automatic warmth against my belly wasn' t so great. The sunlight didn't bring a smile to my face, even though I'd been sick of the snow. The thought of going to school and seeing my friends again and meeting up afterward in our usual rebel hiding place didn't make me happy.

I knew that there was something happening. And it wasn't just that I was free of the terrifying darkness. It wasn't just that I knew I had a grandmother that I'd listened to die above my head days before. It wasn't just that the sun was baking the city before me and making it impossible to see the moment I woke up without squinting, something I'd have to get used to for the next week.

I just felt it.

There was something big happening out there.

*

Silence met me when I went downstairs. It echoed my uneasiness. When I knocked on my father's Private Room door and received no response, not even a "go away, Kitten" or "Kitten, don't bug me, I'm busy", my stomach twisted uneasily and I swallowed. I fingered the cold knob but couldn't bring myself to turn it. I remembered the last time I burst through that door, and I didn't want to have another shocking experience.

"Dad?" I whispered. "Mom?"

Why was I whispering? Why wasn't I screaming? Why wasn't I running out the door, sobbing and calling my parents' names and wondering where the heck they were?

I breathed, "Mom, Dad, where are you?" and there was only silence to answer me.

Numb, I sat down at the kitchen table for breakfast. A glass of juice appeared in front of me, followed my a plate of scrambled eggs on toast. I ate and drank quietly, staring at the walls that offered me no help.

Finished, I folded my hands in my lap.

And there were footsteps advancing toward me.

I whirled around and flew out of my seat to her side. "Mom!" I shouted.

"Oh, Kitten, I slept in, didn't I? I'm sorry. Is your father up?"

I went up to her without a reply, just felt her face, stroked her cheek, pulled her hair back behind her ears. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, are you? You seem ill."

She moved away, pushing me toward the hall closet, murmuring for me to get ready for school and hurry because it was almost time.

But I wasn't done. There was something different about her, about the way she was acting, looking around the room. Even the way her eyes shone too... brightly.

Someone that tired couldn't look so alive.

"Mom, what's going on? Did something happen last night?"

"I don't know. Did it? You didn't come home until really late. I was already asleep by then, wasn't I?"

"I didn't want to wake you," I whispered, feeling lost. Those eyes unnerved me. She gazed at me, her eyes gleaming, and yet her voice was dead...

"Well, that's fine, dear. Why don't you get ready for school. It's sunny out." She grinned at me. "You love the sun."

I blinked and repeated quietly, "I love the sun."

"That's right, honey. Good for you, that's the exact thing I want to hear. Now get ready for school, munchkin. I want to see you ready on time for a change. How's that?"

I stood still, my fingers curling until I was digging my nails into my palms. I WASN'T getting ready. She was being too nice. She was calling me dear, honey, munchkin.

This wasn't my mother.

"Mom, why are you acting like this?"

She was wiping the counter down with a sponge, but it was already sparkling clean. She kept rubbing at the white surface anyway, like she would die if she didn't. "Like what? I'm in a good mood, that's all. Why would you want to ruin that? Get ready for school, dear. Cooperate."

I swallowed and felt that aching in my stomach again. I shook my head, even though she wouldn't see me. "No."

She paused. Turned. Her eyes were no longer shining. They were black, lifeless, merciless holes.

She hissed at me like a snake, "What did you say?"

I was trembling. "I said no. You didn't answer my question."

"You should know anyway to NEVER ask WHY! You little brat, don't you know better than to ask why?!"

"Answer my question, Mom! What's going on? You're acting funny-"

"I'm acting like I should! Trying to get you rebellious, worthless puppets to behave! Now GET READY FOR SCHOOL!"

"You're a monster!" I screamed, and ran toward the stairs. I wanted to cry, to hit her, to grab my box of matches and light a million of them. If I had ever been dying for a flame, now was the time I would surely collapse dead on the floor without one.

"Come back here, Kitten! The bus will be here any minute!"

The monster came at me, clawing at me with nails and teeth and dagger eyes, screaming at me to get ready for school. She dragged me to the hall closet, pulling it open and practically shoving me into it. I almost saw that plan form behind her eyes. And I was terrified. I thought she was going to slam the door shut and lock me in the darkness again.

So I grabbed my winter coat. "I'm getting ready, I'm getting ready now!" I pushed my arms through and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Let me go!"

And she did. She even grinned at me. Her eyes became sparkling diamonds again. "Have a good day, then, honey. Don't be late."

I went out the door, gasping for air, just as the bus stopped for me to get on. Jaz stepped on the same moment I did. I kept my eyes down. "Whoa, Kitten, you alright?" he asked, and I blinked as I tried to gather my thoughts to say something that made logical sense. Was that even possible for something like this?

"Don't worry about me, Jaz, I'm f-" I was about to say "fine", but then I saw his face. "Holy crow, Jaz, did..." My eyes bugged. "Did you get slapped?"

"It's nothing," he murmured and sat down.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little-"

"Oh, suck it UP, Jaz Erewing! Don't be such a BABY!"

The girl's cry was followed directly by laughter. I glanced up to see who it was and was shocked to see Havva Twigley grinning wickedly at the kids laughing with her.

Her eyes... Her eyes were wrong. Harsh, bright diamonds. Too bright. Too alive.

And yet her expression was dead.

"Oh no, not Havva," I whispered. I glanced over at Jaz, and he'd gone pale. Right. He and Havva had been really close. Maybe they'd even been... together? I felt my heart go out for him, but I knew it wouldn't do anything for the wound growing in his own heart by whatever the city had done to Havva.

Both Jaz and I looked up and down the rows of kids, squinting to see who had changed and who hadn't. We saw about half of the rebel gang was still intact.

But we'd lost the others.

And we didn't even know how or why it had happened.

*

"Out of my way, rebel," Perisnow grumbled, shoving me with her shoulder as she went past. I hadn't even been IN her way, but just because I was different from her, she had to run me down.

I fell to the floor, most of the people around me either laughing me or calling out names, like "rebel scum", "trouble-maker", "dog", or even "leader of the dogs". That's what we were to them. Dogs. They were almost like those wolves I'd read about, only not as wild. Still just as threatening and horrible according to the Order. Dogs were uncontrollable beasts, monsters. They needed to be gotten rid of.

So did we, apparently.

A hand grasped mine and I was dragged to my feet. I glanced up at my rescuer and found myself gazing into the sad, dark green eyes of Poppi Redmistle. She had been good friends with Perisnow.

That is, until things went haywire.

"Thanks," I mumbled, giving her a grateful smile. "You doing okay?"

"Only a few pushes and names here and there."

"But you lost your best friend..."

We both watched as Perisnow twisted away, disgusted by Poppi's act of kindness toward me. Poppi nodded slowly. "I'll survive, though."

That was all we could hope for now. To survive. And maybe if we just laid low for a while, we'd figure out what was going on.

And maybe even find a way to stop it.

"I'll see you later, then," Poppi said to me, heading off and leaving me alone to face the mob of rebel-hating students. She waved briefly, then turned around without another word.

The announcement sounded, the robotic voice dull and ominous. "All students, report to homeroom."

I kept staring as Poppi disappeared into the crowd, my breathing turning ragged as I realized, if the city got to any more kids, we'd all be left to fend for ourselves and the leaders wouldn't leave us alive.

"All students..."

If they could get to Perisnow and Havva, could they get to me? Would I be powerless like they'd been against whatever forces were crushing our community?

"...report to homeroom..."

Could I fight this invisible treachery, whatever it was?

"...now."

I moved to the door numbly, pulling it open and entering the room with my eyes glued to the floor. Farrens cleared his throat and announced, "All of us are here. Wonderful. Kitten, why don't you sit down?"

I sat, feeling glares or harsh stares from every direction. But as I raised my gaze, I knew Farrens was free from this curse or drug or whatever was invading the minds of our parents and friends.

The red and green lights from the bulbs above my head shone into my eyes and cast shadows in different layers of my messy hair. I hadn't really had time to take care of it after my mother attacked me, so some strands were falling out of my side ponytail.

You know what? Gritting my teeth, I jerked the hairtie out of my hair, pulling the barrette and the bobby pins out. As my dark locks fell past my shoulders, I let out a sigh of almost... excitement.

I'd done it. I'd refused to be like everyone else. I wasn't just a mindless puppet.

Lune was staring at me when I glanced up again.

He smiled for a few moments, and then turned as Farrens called his name for attendance.

*

Soren hadn't been touched either. Maybe the leaders thought he was already way past rebel-hating and wouldn't be a problem. In fact, the only rebel he DID like was, rather obviously, Lune, and that was just because he knew everything about the Doctrine, etcetera. Maybe if I read that book all night long and memorized it cover to cover, too, Soren would stop taking such a strong dislike to me.

But, of course, it might not just be that I neglected to memorize things and even CARE about the rules that bugged him. Maybe he just couldn't stand ME. Maybe I was just a burden in his class.

So maybe I should just get up and leave.

Ha. Like I'd risk that, now that most kids had their eyes set on our torture and otherwise ignominious death. I'd no sooner stick my finger into an electric socket. It just wasn't an intelligent idea.

While I was imagining the comparison of being electrocuted and sitting in Soren's class, I got called on for a question. The boy behind me nudged me rather harshly with his elbow, which hurt, but I appreciated the interruption to my thoughts. As I glanced up at the Teacher that hated me, I knew I'd be doomed if I got the answer wrong.

"Um, can you repeat the question?"

"Please," the boy behind me reminded, sounding bored out of his mind. I glanced over my shoulder to see who it was. It wasn't like I'd paid attention to seating arrangements beforehand.

Ah. Xentri Hollix. The X Fanatic. How could I forget?

As his pure black eyes met mine, I inhaled sharply, thinking he had turned into one of THEM, but then I remembered. Everything about him was always dark. His personality, his clothes, his hair, his eyes... And besides, if he was like the others, his eyes would only be black if he was about to attack me. All other times they would be shiny and alive and overly joyous.

Good way to know when you should shut up and run, right?

"Please," I said, and saw him give me a little nod of recognition. His somber hair fell over the rest of his face in slight wavy curls, just a few inches from being shoulder-length. I had to admit, he was kind of intimidating. Creepy, at least. But his lips rose into a tiny smile, and I was satisfied in knowing he was normal.

When I turned to face Soren again, he was smirking. "Weren't listening again, Citronella?"

"Kitten," I sighed. Apparently I was a plant again... "No, I'm afraid I wasn't."

"Well, why don't you share what you WERE focusing on, if it's so much more interesting than our city's regulations?"

I was about to make a smart comment, but then I saw Lune's eyes flicker toward mine. A fire inside me ignited and I looked away quickly, my stomach twisting and fluttering in strange ways.

Tell him the truth, I could almost hear him saying in my head. His voice was captured by my mind so perfectly it made me want to cry. Tell him the truth, he told me, and he won't be angry.

Breathing out slowly, I looked back up at Soren, getting to my feet as a sign of respect, and said to him, "I was thinking of how unpleasant it would be to be electrocuted... and I thought it was pretty similar to being here... in this class."

Surprisingly, Soren didn't seem bothered by that. "I can see why that would take a lot of concentration," he smiled. "Would you still like me to repeat the question?"

I nodded.

"If you receive permission to leave the city all alone, are you allowed to leave straightaway or do you have to wait for a given amount of time?"

I licked my lips and answered, "Neither."

Soren blinked, like he hadn't expected me to say that, even if it was the right answer. "Explain," he said slowly, squinting so as to focus fully on my next response.

I swallowed. "Well, you wouldn't be allowed to go alone. It's rule twenty nine. Don't go anywhere without someone because... the, um, unthinkable or unimaginable, whatever it is, can happen. And, anyway, according to guidelines given to us by Kreature Keepers, you can't trust a wild animal. And there's lots of those outside our city boundaries. And if you're all alone, who's to say a wild Snorkel won't roast you alive or a Macaruna won't bite off your face? So..." I cleared my throat and moved a strand of hair out of my face- having it down was a pain. "So, you can't go out alone at all. It's that simple."

Everyone had turned to listen to me, and they all shared the same open-mouthed shock that Soren expressed.

After a few moments of silence, I sat back down and avoided their stares.

But then it just got uncomfortable. Sighing, I asked, "What? It's not THAT hard to understand, is it?"

Soren was no longer smiling, but he didn't look so hateful, either. In fact, his reply was, "I'm just so proud of you, Kitten."

Stuttering because he'd actually called me Kitten for a change, I asked, "And whatever the heck for?!"

"You answered a question correctly!"

Scoffing, I shook my head and knew, if I was given a choice between admiration and hatred, I'd choose hatred. That look on his face, and the way he thought it was so great that I'd done something smart for once, was utterly ridiculous.