Firedown Sun

I was more than ecstatic to leave Proxy's class. She'd given me so many hopeful glances throughout the entire class, as if I were some last, shining hope to some wicked plan or strategy to oust the rebels. I shuddered every time she stared into my midnight eyes, and I wondered how long it would take for them to return to normal. Sorin had said I had to hurry. Hence the fact I was leaving school early.

But not before the Singing. I groaned as the announcement came for us to head into the Gatorium. We gathered up on the huge, wooden stage, all the seventeen-year-olds behind us, the youngest in front. I felt the atmosphere shift from hidden boredom caused by school-day monotony to bursting excitement, as if we were doing something fun.

How was singing stupid songs for a Ceremony FUN?

"Alrighty, kids, it's good to see you again," said the lady every one of us knew. She was a Teacher, but she didn't teach a class; she was the Song Conductor. Every month, we'd listen to her give instructions on how to stand for the Ceremony, how to dress at the Ceremony, where to stand at the Ceremony, where to go when we were done singing and it was time for the Burning, and how to smile and endure the whole crapload of stupidity.

"My name is Jara Rulley," she smiled, and I heard the older kids behind us sigh. They'd heard this thousands of times, and I'm sure they were dying to finally finish this school year so they wouldn't have to hear her anymore. "Please stand straight up, shoulders back, and with a SMILE on your face." She gave us a huge grin that made her green eyes sparkle. I wasn't too surprised she needed the happy-making pill; she was already the bubbliest person any of us knew.

"We are going to sing some special songs tonight," she continued. I tried to drown her out, but maybe the truth pill wouldn't let me, because her voice still droned on in my ears, no matter how I tried to space out. "There's the Welcoming, Thanksgiving For This Day, Treasure These Moments, Joy, and Before We Part." With that, she gave a nod, raising her arms to begin conducting and smiling again directly at me, it seemed, as our cue came to sing.

Halfway through Treasure These Moments, I felt something shift inside me. There was a sizzling snap, and my eyes started to sting.

Crap. Not now! Not already! I panicked, pushing my way through the crowd. Jara gasped as she saw me, but I had no time. The venom's effect was undoing itself. I was already turning normal again. The pain in my eyes only increased as I ran faster, and I wondered why Sorin hadn't mentioned this to me.

It didn't matter. I had to go NOW. The plan, the plan! What WAS the plan? I couldn't think straight, couldn't remember what Sorin had said to do next. I slammed through the doors leading out of the Gatorium, the voices of children singing growing silent as they clicked shut behind me. I kept sprinting, my vision fogging over.

After a few minutes of blindly running through the school- I knew the hallways by heart, so it was no problem finding my way without sight- I heard someone behind me.

"Kitten, wait up!"

Pharis. I skidded to a stop without wanting to. What was he doing here?

"Pharis, go back to the Singing Practice," I said, trying to see where he was. But everything was changing colors and fading in and out. All I could make out was a fuzzy shape of someone's body advancing toward me.

The footsteps slowed, and he placed a hand at the crook of my elbow. "You can't see me, can you?"

"Not at all."

"Your eyes are turning. You need to wash them out."

"Wash them- What? How do you know?"

"Just trust me, Kitten." And he was pulling me the opposite direction, his hand wrapped around mine in the most uncomfortable way. I wanted to jerk back, but what could a blind person do against someone faster and stronger?

"I have to go-"

"I know. Sorin talked to me, too."

That shocked me. Pharis was in on this, too? I couldn't even remember if he was a Blaze or Light anymore. I tried to imagine his face, but the not-having-sight thing really messed with my memory. Or maybe that was just because I'd hit my head earlier. Or maybe because I was halfway between normal and having a muddled brain.

He must have opened the door to a bathroom, because he suddenly stopped and pushed me toward what felt like a sink. My hands moved across the smooth, cool surface, and he sighed. "Here," he whispered, pushing my hands away and turning the faucet on himself.

"Thanks," I muttered. "Is this the Girl's or Boy's?"

I didn't know why I asked that. But he just laughed. "Boys. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but I didn't want to go into the Girl's. I mean, you can't see anyway, so..."

"That's fine," I told him, and water trickled over my fingers as I moved them into the sink bowl. I cupped some in both hands, keeping my eyes open, and splashed it on my face.

It hurt slightly, but I did it repeatedly until Pharis told me to stop, then shut off the water. "That should be good," I heard him murmur. "Can you see yet?"

Slowly, my vision returned. As I glanced at his face, my lips curled into the biggest smile. "You're normal," I noted. "I wasn't sure..."

"Yes. Is that a good thing?"

"That's a VERY good thing."

"Well, then come on, we've got a plan to complete- Oh wait, I almost forgot." He reached into his pocket and pulled out something silver and shiny. "Jaz told me to give this to you."

"Oh." I blinked, wondering how I'd forgotten to go to Jaz myself for my sacrifice. I'd even stared at him for several minutes when he was asked to give a solo for the first Song. He had a beautiful voice. Ha, maybe his singing had distracted me from thinking about the true meaning of the Ceremony.

I let Pharis place the sacrifice in my hand, and when I saw what it was, I couldn't help but feel like the most selfish person in the world.

"He made THIS? For ME?"

Pharis nodded. "He knows what means the most to you, doesn't he?"

"Yes, I suppose he knows me TOO well if he can come up with THIS." I shook my head in amazement and inspected it more closely.

It was a neck chain with tiny, golden links. The raindrop-shaped charm was twice the size of my thumb nail and hung from a sparkling piece of pure silver carved in the exact form of a heart. I stroked it gently, scared I might damage it somehow. There was a curved flame, glaring bright red at me, right in the dead center. The charm was surrounded by a spiral of winding, emerald ivy vines outlined in golden specks. I twisted the charm to see the back of it, and my breath faltered as I read the back.

Love is always worth the sacrifice.

How had he MADE this, especially with the lack of time he'd had?

I kissed my sacrifice gingerly, feeling invisible tears course through me. "Thank you," I murmured, hoping that, wherever he was now, Jaz would know this meant so much to me. Of course he did. He knew me so well. I barely took time to ponder his existence, but he WAS right across the street from me. Maybe he studied me more than I thought, taking the time to notice everything about me, about how my brain worked.

Pharis was staring at it intently, and his eyes were melancholy and dark.

"What?"

"It's just... I was thinking that it's too bad you have to burn it," he said, shrugging.

"It says 'love is always worth the sacrifice' on the back," I told him.

"I know, I read it." His cheeks flushed scarlet, and he looked away. "Sorry. I know I shouldn't have."

"No," I cut in, shaking my head. "I don't mind at all. Honest," I added, when he looked skeptical.

Breathing out in a huff, I unclasped the chain and tried to wrap it around my neck to put it on. But my hair was in the way, bouncing in curls everywhere and getting in the way of my shifting fingers. I groaned, then asked Pharis immediately, without thinking, "Could you help me? It's being impossible."

Once I asked him, I wondered if that was in fact a very smart thing to do. But he clasped the chain in place swiftly, not even acting uncomfortable about how close his hands were to my neck, not even blushing anymore. His fingers fell back to his sides slowly, though, and I knew that, if we were in some other place that wasn't so awkward and strange, and if we hadn't been rushed to follow a plan that could be the deciding factor in whether Monten drowned in danger or not, he might have pressed himself and his feelings on me more.

"Well," he muttered. "Are you ready?"

Inspecting him carefully, I nodded. "And... and yourself?" I was suddenly shaking.

He didn't meet my eyes. "Of course. Always."

My head bobbed up and down in agreement again. "Okay. Then let's scat. We've only got a little bit of time..."

"Wait," he said for the second time, grabbing my arm at the elbow. I pulled away from his grasp, and he didn't even seem to notice. He pulled something else from his pocket. What a surprise. "Sorin told me... Well, truth pills wear off so much faster than the others, so... he gave me a spare for both you and I."

"Both of us?" My eyebrows rose. "How much of the plan are you a part of, Pharis?"

He took his own pill from the orange bottle, then placed mine in my palm, closing my fingers around it. His eyes considered me, then his lower lip curled up at the corner ever so slightly. "As much as I want to be."

And with that, we both raised our fingers to our mouths and swallowed our pill.

*

My bag thudded against my back and my feet pounded on the black road, like I was chasing after some evil person, sword in hand, ready to strike. But I wasn't some warrior, and I wasn't chasing down anything. I was running mindlessly through the middle of town, eyes black as ever and smile completely vanished. This was business. It wasn't supposed to be a smiling matter.

Pharis sprinted beside me, and we both kept silent and didn't look at anything except the ground flying beneath our shoes as we hurried to the Storage Shack.

"You're sure Sorin told you here?" Pharis asked me, skidding to a stop at the Shack's entrance.

I gave him an icy glare. He chuckled and turned back around. He obviously didn't catch on to the seriousness of the plan. I pulled some bobby pins out of my hair, letting the stupid curls fall in my face without a high level of caring. If I was going to do my job, it didn't matter if I looked like roadkill; the only witness was Pharis anyway, and he obviously liked me no matter my appearance.

"Makeshift lockpick?" He raised an eyebrow as I shoved the bobby pins in the door's lock, trying to move them the way Ankun had taught me. He'd been so wonderfully helpful when it came to tactics that were banned from Monten but absolutely worth excelling at if you were in dire need.

This was one of those times.

"Shut up," I mumbled. "At least I'M not being a freaking hyena."

Pharis sighed. "Hyenas? Really, Kitten? You're not supposed to know about any of the ancient animals, that's MY job."

"No, that's your parents' job. Get it right, genius." With the lovely little click beneath my fingers, I pulled the door open and swung inside, barely giving him time to enter before I closed it behind me. If only I could lock him out.

But he proved useful when we discovered how dark it was and he pulled out a flashlight from his bag. He smiled at me as the beam of light scattered across his face. "Boo," he whispered in an evil voice.

I jerked the thing out of his hands. "Quit being so immature," I growled and swept the Shack's interior.

It was musty and just a bit too warm. I took off my music jacket and tied it around my waist, then continued around, searching through the shelves of random things no one in Monten cared about anymore.

"Gasoline," Pharis announced, pulling down a large, plastic jug. "Oh, wow, it's heavier than it looks." He laughed and held it with both hands, seeming perfectly happy with the struggle he was having to lift it.

I stared at him. "WHAT is so hilarious and joyous about all this? You're laughing, grinning... Ugh, you're acting like you're having a good time, but this is SERIOUS, Pharis. If you can't grasp that, then leave."

"Gosh, I don't want to crash your bash, Kitten, but Sorin told me to be a nutcase about it."

"About WHAT?"

"About acting like the 'Lights'. They're supposed to be crazy today, over-friendly and bubbly. Remember?"

I did remember, but I was also frustrated Sorin hadn't exactly mentioned that part. He'd just said lay low and don't draw too much attention to yourself.

"Great," I mumbled. "So now I'm stuck with an overly happy Pharis for the next few hours. Lovely."

This time, he refrained from laughing. I appreciated that.

"Okay," he said, talking to himself. "We've got the gasoline, now we need the buckets."

"Over here." I bent down to the left of the shelves and muttered, "I wonder how Sorin knew all this stuff was in here."

"He's smart? Um, what else... Oh, right, the rope. What's that for again?"

"We need it so we don't plummet down to the bottom of the Pit and die of being pulverized into a pancake. Didn't you pay attention?"

"Right.... Okay, I like that plan." He grinned at me, and I just rolled my eyes. He was just toying, wasn't he? Having fun with this "pretend to be a Light" thing. Good grief. What a nightmare this was going to be.

We gathered all the other supplies up, searching high and low. Nothing seemed to be sorted here, it was just sort of randomly piled on the dusty shelves in no particular order. It was strange. Everything in Monten was so organized. This might be the first time I'd ever seen the opposite in some other place besides my messy bedroom.

"Gasoline, rope, buckets, handkerchiefs, gloves, watches... Gosh." Pharis wiped his forehead with his sleeve. "We've got the belts, too, right?"

I pulled the utility belts out of the bucket I'd placed them in, along with the rope and other things. "Should we put them on now or wait?"

"Might as well do it now. It'll save time."

We clipped them on around our waists then glanced around the dark Shack again. Pharis was struggling with the gasoline jug again, so I sighed and reached for it. "Here, we'll take turns."

And so we hurried out of the Shack, switching from carrying buckets of tools to the heavy jug. It was hard to run carrying everything, but we managed. Only a few hours until these pills wore off, and then we'd be done for. I tried to calculate how many hours it had been since the first one had faded, but my head was too busy concentrating on looking as inconspicuous as possible running through the city with so much crap in my arms and a boy just as overburdened beside me. We ran with purpose. We ran with stealth. We ran like lunatics.

As we arrived at the Fire Pit's edge, I couldn't help but whistle softly. It was still such a shock to see it every time. It was such a deep, dark hole that it scared me to imagine myself lowering in with nothing but a thin rope to stop me from falling.

"You can do this," Pharis promised me, as if he knew I needed the encouragement. "You go first, just don't drop the gasoline."

"I won't." Smiling, I set the jug down for a minute so I could tie one end of the rope to me, then hand the other to Pharis. "Please don't drop ME."

"Of course not!"

And without another second's hesitation, I took the gasoline and climbed over the edge and let myself sink downward.

Pharis was stronger than he looked. He was able to lower me down slowly and safely without a single problem at all. During the ride, I twisted the cap of the jug off and splashed some of the oily liquid against the side of the Pit, watching it trickle down the blackened dirt. It made me shiver with excitement. This was going to work. It had to.

"We're good!" I shouted, my voice bouncing off the dirt walls of the Pit, when I touched bottom. "You can come down now!" As I unknotted the rope from myself, it slithered up to the top like a snake. He'd be down soon; two minutes at the most, I presumed.

My partner in crime did come down quickly as I'd predicted, and he looked like he was feeling some excitement as well, too. "This had better work," he said.

"It will," I smiled. "And if not, then... well, there will still probably be a bigger fire than was planned tonight."

Laughing a bit too loudly, Pharis took the empty jug from my hands. "Well done, Kitty."

"You, too, and thanks."

"No problem."

We hid all the tools in an arranged manner around the Pit, just as Sorin told us. The buckets we didn't need to worry about. There were plenty around here, so we just threw them on top of the pile in the Fire Manager Storehouse. I felt more tremors run through me as I walked by the Manager suits, imagining myself in that ridiculous color orange, starting fires at the end of every month with PERMISSION and fighting the flames when it was all over and having a blast with the thrill, the danger, the rush. It would be such a perfect job for me.

As if he knew my thoughts, Pharis came a little closer, placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and whispered with a sweet smile, "This is your place, Kitty. All yours."

I beamed at him. "You really think so?"

"Of course. The Managers would be deprived without you. They already are. They NEED you beside them. You love fire." His eyes dropped to my neck chain. "Is this your new trademark?" he asked tentatively. "Even though you're technically not supposed to change it?"

"Ha. Who cares about Rules anymore? I make up my OWN rules!" I spun in a delighted circle as I said that, giggling like a moron. But he joined in, dancing in a spiral and laughing, too. For just a few moments, we goofed off like we were just friends hanging out, just having a grand old time.

But then I caught glimpse of the setting sun, and I stopped. My head pounded, and I felt like I would fall over from dizziness. The horizon was fuzzy, and it kept shifting position on me, but I knew it was late.

Almost too late.

"We've got to get home," I breathed. "Now. Look, the sun's already setting. We're dead if we're caught in here." Sorin might've known that, but apparently he liked to let us figure half the plan out instead of telling us. We hurried back to the rope and climbed up as fast as we could. My lungs burned and my hands hurt from it, but that was of little concern to me. I waved goodbye to Pharis before he was even over the edge, whispering, "Thanks for your help, but I need to go."

"See you later, Kitty," he called, getting to his knees. "Don't get into trouble."

"Same to you!" And I turned on him and ran all the way to the opposite side of Monten and to Heavenlight Row, not daring to look over my shoulder to see if Pharis was catching up or if he was even hurrying at all.

Halfway there it started raining. Hard.