The Last of October

The trip form Near North Side to Barrington wasn't a long trip. If traffic were kind, it would only take October an hour at most to get there, but seeing as it was a drive to her mother's home, October took as long as humanly possible to spend less time with the older Brehton. It wasn't that she hated her mother, she loved her mother very much, and it was her mother's obsession with keeping October skinny that made visiting her mother painful.

Every time her mother visited or vise versa, Jeanette always bitched and moaned about what October ate or failed to eat. Often, Jeanette would control what she ate, giving her small portions of food, leaving her to go hungry for most or the rest of the day. If Jeanette would visit, which she did often, she would throw out all of the food she would consider junk and replace them with vegetables or food that consisted of less calories. Then Jeanette would go on to complain about how October needed to get out of the house and exercise more.

She knew that her mom meant for the best. What mother would want to see their child become obese and picked on and taunted about their weight? She knew that it broke Jeanette's heart whenever October would come home from school crying about the kids taunting her. It was something she never wanted to have her daughter experience again, but Jeanette might have taken it a little too far now.

"So, how have you been? Have you been eating well?" Jeanette asked October the moment she stepped into her mother's house.

Rolling her eyes October hugged her mother and nodded. "Yes mother, I've been following the nutrition diet you keep sending me," she droned.

Jeanette smiled, pleased with herself as if she had saved her daughter from further torment and future problems. "Good, good. I trust you."

"I'm going to go to my room," October informed her mom and made her way up the stairs before her mother could let out another word. Ever since her parent's divorce when she was ten, October spent her summers and winter break with her mother and the rest of the year with her father, Rick.

Another reason October was teased when she was younger was because, unlike most of the kids in Shattuck, October was one of the few that didn't live on residence. Living so close to Shattuck, October was driven to and from school and home.

If her mother didn't have to travel so much because of her job, October would have moved to Chicago in a heartbeat to save herself from the bullying. Instead, she kept to herself without letting both her mother and father know about the daily torment she received at the hands of her peers. If she did, there was no doubt they would have moved her to a boarding school and that would have been harder for her.

Crouching under her old bed, October pulled out fairly large box. Even though much of her time at Shattuck consisted of terrible memories, October couldn't part with the few memories that she was blessed with having. She pulled out an equitably tattered picture and smiled.

It was a picture of her and Jonathan together, both happy and smiling in the camera. She remembered that day so clearly. In fact she remembered every single day that she was "accepted" by everyone and more importantly the day that she was humiliated and so badly hurt by the one person she trusted.

October was over the moon as she spent spring break with her mother in Chicago. She had been dying for the chance to go shopping in Chicago. Not only did Ashley tell her that Jonathan had a crush on her and planned on asking her to be his girlfriend at homecoming but Ashley's claim was cemented when he did ask her to homecoming on the last day of school before the spring break.

She was so giddy, it took her awhile to get dressed and properly put on her makeup to ensure that everything was immaculate. She looked at the clock; October had five minutes before Jonathan said he would pick her up. Making her way downstairs, she sat on the settee beside the door and waited for him.

Ten minutes, and Jonathan still hadn't come. She soon started to become antsy, and excused him, thinking that he was just late. Another 30 minutes and still no sign of him. He's just running a little late, she thought to herself. Finally two hours passed, she could feel tears starting to gather in her eyes, thankful that her father was on a date otherwise she wouldn't know how to explain why she was still at home instead of at the dance.

Just as she was about to give up and head up stairs to cry herself to sleep, October's cell phone rang make her jump to her purse and her heart soar with hope. Her face glowed and her lips turn up when she received a text from him apologizing for not being able to pick her up and asked if she could meet him at the dance.

She called the taxi company and was out of the house in less than twenty minutes. The same jittery feeling came back as the excitement built up inside her. The smile from earlier still hadn't left her lips, her face started to hurt. October practically threw the money at the taxi driver and ran to the front of the gym where she could hear the music playing loudly.

October didn't care that she practically missed most of the dance, so long as she could share one dance with Jonathan where everyone was staring at her with envy as his eyes only stared at her, she didn't care if she missed the whole thing with only ten minutes left if that was the case.

She smiled at the teacher who was counting tickets but stopped when she was asked for her ticket.

"Um, if I could just get my friend inside. He said he would meet me here and he's probably inside, he has my ticket," she said.

The teacher looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, but you have to stay outside. Is there any way you could get a hold of him to meet you out here?" she asked.

October nodded and pulled out her cell phone. After a couple minutes of trying to reach Jonathan and getting the dial tone each time, the gym doors burst open to reveal Jonathan. She smiled, but it fell as quickly as it appeared when she saw Ashley in his arms and their friends following not to far behind with drinks in the hands. Moving to the side so that they wouldn't see her, she saw him place a kiss on her lips.

The feeling of being stabbed in the chest stung as she fought to keep the tears at bay. They looked so happy and beautiful together, it hurt to see them. As if she was put on autopilot, October began to follow them. The group didn't notice until they were outside when one of the guys turned around and saw them.

"Look Jonny, its your stalker," Nathan James, a fellow teammate of his, pointed out cruelly.

Her face must have shown shock and horror, as they all laughed nastily. One of them even began to tape the whole thing as they all took their turns mocking her about her weight and her dress, save for Jonathan who just had a smirk on his face.

"Look you made her cry," Ashley pointed out making a couple of the girls giggle. "Looks like Jonny won the bet," she said, making October snap out of her shock.

"Aw the poor baby is crying. Are you going to run home to Daddy?"

"Damnit, I thought he would make her cry at school," one of the guys said and handed Jonathan a couple of bills.

October put a hand on her face and felt fat tears spilling from her eyes. "W-what's going o-on?" she stuttered.

Jonathan removed his arm from around Ashley and walked up to her. "Did you really think that I would go out with someone like you?" he asked, his voice condescending and harsh, making October let out a small whimper. She wanted to be anywhere but where she was now. She just wanted to disappear. "Wake up and realize I would never go out with someone like you, I would be a laughing stock."

"Did you really think that a fat bitch like you would be anything special?" Ashley asked cruelly and threw her cup at October.

The guys howled with laughter as the guy with the camera circled around October.

October's eyes stung from the tears and the unknown drink that was thrown at her. She did the only thing she knew and that was to run. In the background, she could hear them mocking and howling at her. She run until their voices faded, until she was tired and her feet started to hurt, until she fell on her knees, ripping her dress and her knees bled.

October was curled up on her bed, tears running down her face as the invisible scars from her high school years resurfaced. After that day, everyday until the end of the school year became hell on earth for her. She found out that someone had played her humiliation at a party. She became the butt of every joke and the entertainment at every party.

Her grades started to slip and she became even more closed off. She started to starve herself, escaping in the form of self-harming herself. She needed to feel something, and the only way to feel something was to harm herself. Everything fell apart from then on. She even went as far as thinking about suicide, but was too scared to do it.

The annoying beat from her cell phone woke October up. She must have cried herself to sleep as she felt dried tears on her face and the corners of her eyes. "Hello?" she groggily asked.

"Missy, hey, I was hoping to talk to you. I was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me."

October tensed when she heard Jonathan's voice, the painful squeezing of her heart started hurt as her voice constricted. "Jon?"

"Missy, are you alright? You don't sound too good."

"Jon, don't call me anymore," she told him coldly, hanging up as he tried to protest. She fell back on her bed, numbly tracing the fading scars on her wrist. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to shut the world out. She wanted nothing more than to just disappear.