Mary Without Sound

I stir the straw in my cup of hot chocolate while he stares at me, waiting to the inevitable awkward conversation that’s surely going to overtake the morning.

Neither of us wants to break the silence first.

“It’s not as weird as you’re making it out to be,” I begin, rolling my eyes at Justin. He stares at me incredulously.

“No, it is as weird as I’m making it out to be,” he retorts. “You haven’t even been talking for a month yet, and now you’re dating Matt. So yeah, a little weird, you know?” He runs a hand through his messy hair and nervously adjusts his glasses. “Sure, Lindsay thinks it’s cute, but…I mean…” he sputters helplessly.

“You’re freaked out. I can tell,” I state. I take a sip of my hot chocolate to avoid his stare.

“Well, what would your-” he abruptly stops. I look at him expectantly, but he looks away quickly.

“What would my brother say?” I finish for him, swallowing with some difficulty. He doesn’t answer for about thirty seconds. “It’s not your job to replace him, you know,” I add quietly, still not making eye contact.

“I just… I care. Alright?” He shrugs helplessly. “About both of you.” He takes a long swig of his coffee, as if he needs caffeine to make him even more jittery than he already is right now.

“Justin. Seriously. Don’t worry about it,” I mumble, feeling slightly guilty.

Did I really think he’d be ecstatic about the news or something?

Maybe I should’ve listened to Matt when he suggested we wait to mention it to anyone.

“I’m just saying…Matt’s had his heart broken and you’re still recovering,” Justin continues. “ You two are train wrecks right now. Someone might get hurt.”

“Right, because you’re the expert on Mid-West love affairs; I forgot,” I say. I don’t mean to say it harshly, but I haven’t recovered from his original remark yet.

“That’s not the point,” he retorts. He goes to take another drink of his coffee, but there’s none left.