For You, I Will

For a moment, Embry and I locked eyes. All of my emotions were at war in my heart, trying to win me over. Was I more shocked or happy? Was I going to cry? Scream? Laugh? Run away?

I was happy; so, so happy. I’d had a crush on Embry for the longest time, and my crush loved me back! Is this how Nessie felt about Jacob? Knowing all her love she’d ever give him would never be thrown away? That no matter what happened, she’d always have someone at her side, to love her and care for her unconditionally?

Just knowing Embry was going to be by my side for the rest of my life was enough to overwhelm me into a euphoric coma. I had to struggle to keep from being overtaken by happiness and love. I couldn’t even let myself think about the fact that I would never, ever have to question whether Embry loved me or not, like other girls did. I would always know he loved me more than anyone else.

In front of me, Embry’s eyes clouded with anxiety. He was searching my face, looking more nervous than I’d ever seen him.

“Lillie?” he asked gently, releasing my hands and cupping my face. His chocolate brown eyes flickered between my light green gaze, searching for my answer to his confession. He wasn’t Edward; I’d forgotten he couldn’t hear all of my thoughts whirling around inside my heart. Was he really worried I wouldn’t love him back?

Without thinking, I threw myself forward, wrapping my arms around Embry’s neck and holding him as tight as I could. Immediately, Embry’s arms wrapped around me and held me close. His relief flooded out of him, and the love I felt was enough to make me weak.

Embry backed up a few steps, away from the wet sand and lapping waves, and sunk to the ground, curling me onto his lap. Squirming around, I got comfortable in his hold, and rested my head on his chest, letting his heartbeat make a steady, comforting rhythm.

“You really loved me since the moment you saw me?”

“Well,” Embry sighed, giving me a little squeeze. “Not since the second you were born, no. I really didn’t see that much of you before your tenth birthday.”

“Why not?” I asked, glancing up at him.

“You were my friend’s daughter,” he told me, shrugging. “I was always off doing extra patrols. Seth and Paul were busy with you, Lucas, and Arabella, and Sam was occupied with Emily, Jared had Kim… Quil and I took over a lot of the patrols. And on my free time I never came over. I usually just went home and slept. I missed a few Christmas’s and birthday’s, too, and the next time I saw you, Seth had coaxed me into coming to your tenth birthday party. He promised me shrimp.”

Rolling my eyes, I asked,

“So you’ve loved me since my tenth birthday? How did you know I was the one?”

Embry tightened his arms around me.

“I’ll never, ever forget that day. I had just arrived at your house. You were such a good little girl; you gave me a huge hug for coming to see you. And as you let me go, and our eyes met, I felt the entire world shift. Gravity was useless to me; you were the only thing tying me to this earth. I had never loved anyone more than I loved you. And I knew that instant that I would love you for the rest of your life.”

Though the story was sweet, all I felt was confusion and pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked, allowing a bit of hurt to leak into my voice. How many nights had I stayed awake, my heart seeming to break when I thought Embry would never love me back? How many days had passed with me dragging through them, admiring Embry but thinking I was wasting my time? Oh my God, if Embry had told me earlier, I never would have gone to the dance with Cade! I would have happily danced with Embry all night; he would have been there the whole time, holding me close, telling me how beautiful I was…

I felt Embry tense up, and he let out a weary sigh.

“Well…”

“Well what?” I asked, shifting to look up at him. He winced at the pain in my eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t love you back?” When Embry was silent, I felt a flicker of doubt flash through me. “Were you ashamed of me? Did you want a different-“

“Of course not!” Embry snarled, his eyes blazing with fury. “How could you even think I would want another imprint?”

Feeling a bit defensive, I frowned and muttered,

“Well I don’t know! I’ve just found out about this! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Do you know how long I’ve had a crush on you? Even before my tenth birthday!”

“I never meant to hurt you,” Embry said softly, cupping my face with one hand and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I would have told you that instant, I would have poured everything out, but-“

“Why didn’t you?” I asked again.

“If you’d be quiet long enough for me to tell you…”

I shut my mouth and stared up at Embry, who chuckled.

“Lillie, it wasn’t my choice. You’re mom decided she didn’t want you knowing I was your imprint. Woah, woah, hold on, let me finish,” Embry said quickly, just as I was about to interrupt him.

My own mom had stopped Embry from admitting the truth?!??!?

“Your mom was really, really hurt when Paul cheated on her. He was supposed to be her imprint, and he’d cast her aside like she was nothing.”

“I know that,” I hissed, narrowing my eyes. “But what the hell does-“

“Lillie,” Embry said softly. I shut my mouth and let him continue. “When your mom found out I’d imprinted on you, she begged me to keep quiet. She just wanted you to lead a normal life, without the influence from knowing you had an imprint.”

“But why-“ Embry put his hand over my mouth.

“I really did understand what she was saying at first, and to start out with, it was easy. I could see you every day, and it didn’t hurt that bad because you were too young any way. I just wanted to be your best friend.”

He let out a long, shaky sigh.

“But then, you got older, and my feelings of friendship turned into love. I loved you more and more every day, and it hurt so bad to sit back and watch you from afar. I couldn’t take it anymore, Lillie, and I snapped. When Jake called me tonight, I knew I’d end up telling you before the night was out.”

Embry took his hand off my mouth, letting me speak. But words just wouldn’t come; anger, betrayal, pain, frustration… all my feelings began to well up inside of me. My own mother had been the reason I’d suffered so long without Embry. Didn’t she understand how much I loved him, and how bad it hurt me every single fucking day watching him and thinking I’d never have him?

“Lillie, are you-“

“We’re going home,” I hissed, pushing myself to my feet. “My mom has some explaining to do.”

***My POV***

“Where’s Lillie?” Alex asked, frowning as only Jacob and Renesmee came into the house. They exchanged a look, and Jacob sighed, saying,

“She and Embry are at the beach.”

“What?” Alex breathed, slowly rising from the arm chair and setting her book down.

“Lillie and Embry are-“

“Why did you drop them off?” Alex snarled, taking a step towards Jacob, who immediately took a step back.

“Alex, you need to accept that Lillie and Embry are imprinted,” he said softly. “He loves her more and more every day, and it’s killing him inside.”

“Lillie’s hurting too,” Renesmee added. “She’s liked him for so long, and she gets so upset when she thinks she’ll never be with him.”

“Lillie needs to lead her life-“

“You don’t know what Lillie needs,” a new voice added from the hallway. Alex’s head whipped around.

“Lucas, go to sleep.”

“No, mom,” he said, stepping out beside Jacob. “I know why you’re trying to keep them apart. But you didn’t see her tonight. When Embry showed up… it was like every single bad thing in her life didn’t matter any more. She didn’t even think about Cade or Arabella. She only saw Embry, and she was so happy it hurt, mom. You’re letting your past take over Lillie’s future, and that’s not fair.”

“But what if he hurts her, or-“

“Think of her and Embry as a normal couple. You weren’t this defensive of her when Cade was taking her to the dance,” Lucas pointed out. “And Cade did hurt her. I know Embry, mom. I’ve seen his thoughts. I know he loves Lillie more than anyone else ever could, and I know he wouldn’t ever hurt her.”

Alex was silent; her eyes glittered with sadness and pride as she stared at her son.

“Since when did you become so smart?”

“You’re smart too, mom,” he assured her. “You’re thoughts are just being clouded by what my dad did to you. Embry will never, ever do that.”

“Let whatever happens happen,” Jacob urged. “Not every imprint is like Paul. You see how much I love Renesmee. She means more to me than any other person in this entire world. I keep her safe, protected, and loved.”

“He’s never hurt me,” Renesmee spoke up, taking Jacob’s hand. “He’s loved me since the second I was born, and he’ll love me for the rest of eternity. Let Embry and Lillie be together. It’s killing both of them to be apart. And look at how much Seth loves you. He’s never hurt you, and he never will. That’s what Lillie and Embry could be. They could be as happy as you and Seth. Don’t you want her to be happy?”

Alex’s eyes sparkled with tears; she didn’t want her daughter getting hurt. But as Lucas, Jacob, and Renesmee talked, she realized she had been letting the pain Paul caused her influence her judgment. She needed to step back and let her daughter live her life.

Letting out a sigh, she murmured,

“I’ll let whatever happens happen. I won’t stand between them any more.”

Before anyone could reply, the sound of footsteps on the stairs echoed through the house, and moments later the front door was yanked open. Her liquid green eyes were alight with fury; her intense gaze locked onto her mother, and she hissed,

“Why didn’t you want me to know?!”

Embry, who had come running into the house behind Lillie, reached out to pull her back but Lillie shook his hand off instantly.

“Lillie, calm down sweetheart,” Alex began, only to be cut off by Lillie.

“Do you know how many nights I cried because I thought I could never have Embry?! I never understood why I loved him so unbearably much, and it killed me to have to watch him and think I would never be good enough for him!”

Alex was too shocked by her daughter’s anger that she couldn’t speak. Lillie had always been the quiet, gentle, sweet child, while Lucas had been the one with the temper. But now, even Lucas had taken a step away from his sister as her rage spilled over.

“I could have been so happy with Embry all this time! I wasted four years of my life in pain without him because of something that happened to you!”

“Lillie, please, I know-“

“What you know is that Paul was an asshole to you! He treated you horribly, and now you’re using it as an excuse to keep me from being happy! You were never like this to Lucas!”

“Lillian, please, calm down,” Alex pleaded, taking a step towards her daughter. Lillie was so furious she was shaking. Her green eyes blazed with betrayal as she stared up at her mom. “I was wrong to try and protect you.”

“Protect me from what!?” Lillie cried. “Embry’s protected me from everything I ever need protecting from! All you did was end up hurting me more! How would you feel if grampa had forced you to stay away from dad? Huh?”

Sadness clouded Alex’s eyes as she listened to her daughter shouting. She had never meant for the truth to come out this way. But it was out, and there was nothing for her to do about it but move on and try to mend the anger Lillie felt towards her.

But before Alex could say anything, Lillie whipped around and stormed down the hall, slamming her door as she disappeared into her room.

***Lillie’s POV***

The door creaked open, spilling light into my room. Just a half hour had passed since my shouting episode with my mom, and I felt horrible. I had never, not once, raised my voice at my mom or dad, and now I had totally called my mom out.

Of course it felt good getting all my feelings out there, and yeah, I was still pissed at my mom, but I hated yelling at her. I hated seeing the sadness in her eyes. Guilt was gnawing at me; I had never fought with my mom before, and I hated knowing she was so upset. I was just as miserable as I was angry.

I was curled up in a ball on my side facing my wall. I pulled the comforter a little tighter around me, waiting for my mom to start talking. But it wasn’t my mom.

“Lillie, are you okay?” Embry asked softly, gently laying down beside me. He wrapped his arm over me and pulled me close, resting his chin on my head.

“I hate yelling,” I whispered, my throat a little sore. “But how could she do that to me?”

“She was trying to protect you, Lil,” Embry said. “She didn’t want you getting hurt.”

“Well, that worked out just great,” I mumbled, a tear rolling down my cheek and staining my pillow.

“She made a mistake,” he told me, giving me a gentle squeeze. “We all make mistakes. You made one, going to the dance with Cade. I made one, pretending to like Ara. Lucas makes them all the time.”

I gave a watery laugh, and felt Embry smiling.

“Your mom loves you almost as much as I do,” he told me softly. “She only wants what’s best for you.”

“So you think I should apologize?” I asked him. I felt Embry shake his head.

“I’m just telling you, look at this from both perspectives. Yeah, it was wrong for her to keep the imprinting a secret, but I went along with it too. And besides, you need to think of where she’s coming from. Paul really hurt your mother when he cheated on her. She loved him as much as you love me, and when she found out he had cheated on her, it broke her heart. She never wants you to go through anything like that. She was just being a good mom.”

“Yeah, I know,” I mumbled, frowning at the wall. Embry gave me another squeeze and then let me go, sitting up.

“I have patrol tonight, but I’ll come get you in the morning so we can do something, okay?”

“Okay,” I sighed, rolling over and pushing myself up. Embry wrapped his arms around me once again, and I relaxed in his hold.

Letting me go, he stood, stretched, then disappeared out of my room, leaving me to sit in the dark and think about what he had said.

“Mom,” I said tentatively, slinking out into the living room. My mom was curled up on the couch, her eyes glued to the TV. She glanced over her shoulder and gave me a small smile. “Can I talk to you?” I asked, stepping forward. My mom snapped off the TV and scooted over a bit to make room for me.

Settling down next to her, I stared down at my hands, now unsure of what I wanted to say.

“I’m so sorry, Lillie,” she said after a long moment. “I should have never kept the truth from you. It was so wrong of me, and I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you. But I realize I went about it the wrong way. “

“I know why you lied,” I said softly, fiddling with the hem of my tank top. “ I should have listened to you before I started yelling. I’m still mad,” I added quickly, glancing up at her. “But I feel bad for hurting you.”

“Don’t apologize, Lillie,” my mom said firmly, resting her hand on my arm. “You were right to yell at me. I know you’re still mad, and I’ll try to make this up to you, if I ever can. I’m sorry, honey,” she said again, giving my arm a small squeeze. “I won’t keep anything from you again.”

I glanced up now, locking eyes with my mom. “Thank you, mom. I appreciate that. And I know Embry won’t hurt me. He’ll always love me, just like dad will always love you.”

Mom smiled at me, and then pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back, feeling a bit better. I was still mad at her, but I loved her, too, and I couldn’t hold a grudge to save my life.

“Get some sleep,” my mom said, letting go and standing up. I stood up too, stretching. I followed my mom to my room and crawled into bed, letting my mom pull the covers up. She bent down and gave me a swift kiss on the forehead, then smiled down at me as she backed out of my room.

“Love you, Lillie pad,” she said softly, snapping off my light.

“Love you too, mom.”