Paper Thin
Perfect
When he looks at me, I don’t think he knows what he thinks he sees.
He’s known me for years. He’s been my pen pal, read all my letters, and even sent a few back. But what he doesn’t know is that I’m my best on paper. On paper I can smile and laugh and it almost seems believable. With him I’ve gotten to be exactly who I wanted to be. With him, I was perfect
But now he’s coming here.
He’s going to meet me.
It terrifies me to think that he’s going to meet ME, especially because I’m a complete stranger to him. Better still I’m the wrecked, scared, insecure, stranger that lied to him. He’ll hate the real me. I just know he will. So I don’t think I’m going to let him meet me.
I’ll make sure he meets the girl he thinks he knows. He’s going to meet the well adjusted, happy, girl without a problem in the world. He’s going to come here and find a living room with family pictures and bright colors. He won’t see my wrists, won’t see my parents, and won’t be able to judge a life he never sees, my life he’ll never see. I’ll make sure he meets the girl he knows. If only her perfection wasn’t so paper thin.
He’s known me for years. He’s been my pen pal, read all my letters, and even sent a few back. But what he doesn’t know is that I’m my best on paper. On paper I can smile and laugh and it almost seems believable. With him I’ve gotten to be exactly who I wanted to be. With him, I was perfect
But now he’s coming here.
He’s going to meet me.
It terrifies me to think that he’s going to meet ME, especially because I’m a complete stranger to him. Better still I’m the wrecked, scared, insecure, stranger that lied to him. He’ll hate the real me. I just know he will. So I don’t think I’m going to let him meet me.
I’ll make sure he meets the girl he thinks he knows. He’s going to meet the well adjusted, happy, girl without a problem in the world. He’s going to come here and find a living room with family pictures and bright colors. He won’t see my wrists, won’t see my parents, and won’t be able to judge a life he never sees, my life he’ll never see. I’ll make sure he meets the girl he knows. If only her perfection wasn’t so paper thin.