Wounds That Will Not Heal

After another day at the hospital and another kick out by the nurses, I got in my car and drove home. I pull in the drive way and turn the car off. I pick up my bag from the passengers seat and get out of the car. I lock it and get in the house, suddenly getting hit by the wave of cold air. I mentally thank my parents for always keeping the AC on during the summer.

"Hey, I'm home!" I yell.
"Hey, honey! You want anything to eat?" I hear my mum's voice from the kitchen.
"Nah, I ate in the hospital!" I answer.
"Okay! But don't go eating ice cream in the middle of the night then, saying you're hungry as an excuse, I asked you if you want anything!" I roll my eyes. She can't deny me my ice cream! Especially Ben and Jerry's!

I run up the stairs and in my room. I trow myself on my bed. I feel so tired. Damn hospitals and their pathetic excuses for beds! I didn't get my well needed sleep.

I groan as I hear buzzing from my bag. I want to sleep people, contact me later! I dig trough the bag and I finally find the phone.

I laugh as I read the contact name.

Staircase Matt
Hey Laura, just wanted to ask you're still up on my offer? (:

I smile and text back.



I feel kind of nervous as I wait for Laura's response. I really like her. And I feel this weird connection between us. I never told anyone how I feel about my brother being sick. Anyone. I feel like I can spill my soul to her, because she will care. I feel good about talking to someone finally, but I hate that I'm so venerable and nervous.

My phone buzzing gets me back from my thoughts.

Lauraa
Of course :)
When

I instantly smile. How does she do that?



Staircase Matt
Tomorrow? :)

I reply with an 'Yes :))' and jump back on my bed and continue where I stopped - falling to sleep. But the weird feeling in my stomach didn't let me sleep. The feeling I didn't have for a long time. I tried to ignore it but couldn't.

It's impossible that I feel this way. Not so soon. I always get it too soon and then end up hurt. But, then again, something feels different. But better different, I hope. Damn he for making me feel this way again. It feels so bittersweet. It feels right and wrong.

Right because I never felt so good, excited, open. Because I feel safe. I feel that I'm finally in a right place. But, still, it feels so wrong because it's too soon. I don't know him. I can get hurt again. Again! I grunt into the pillow and grip it tight in slight anger.

Why does me make have butterflies?!