Wounds That Will Not Heal

"Your friend has a hardly curable kidney cancer." The doctor said in a low voice.
"I am really sorry." He added.
He continued talking but my mind was still processing what has he just said.
Tears that were already furiously streaming down my cheeks were now going even faster and my sobs got louder.

My best friend can actually die. The one that has always been like a sister to me? The one that was always right there beside me no matter what?
My vision blurred from the tears that have been building up in my eyes. I couldn't think clearly, the only thing on my mind was the thought of my life without her.

Nobody to talk to about my day, nagging about the people that pissed me off today.
Nobody to write new songs with or listen to A7X songs and cry on the ones that The Rev sang in.
Nobody to call while watching a favorite TV show and comment every second of it.
Nobody to keep me sane and make me smile all the time.
And even if there was someone, it wouldn't be Johanna, and the slightest possibility of not having her around made me feel empty and alone.

Doctors' hand shaking my shoulder snapped me from my thoughts. He was saying something to me but nothing made sense. I heard him desperately trying to calm me down by saying that everything will be okay and that I don't need to worry.
His words didn't seem sincere at all. I couldn't stay here anymore. He only made it worse. I needed to think. Alone. I got up and ran trough the door.I heard the doctor calling me but I didn't care.

I haven't really had a direction. I ran trough the hospital halls just searching for a place where there's no other people. Trough my blurry sight I finally spotted a sign by one of the doors. Staircase.
I opened it and got in. The gray walls and black stairs matched my mood perfectly and, in a way, that comforted me. I plopped down on one of the stairs and buried my face in my hands. I started to cry again.

A loud sob escaped my lips as the memories fluttered in my head.
"Are you okay?" A concerned voice behind me asked.
I jerked and turned around. It was the guy with the perfect smile.
"Y-Yeah." I answered, my voice coming out barely louder then a whisper.
But I wasn't okay. I just wanted to be cry my heart out.

He came down the stairs and put his hands on my shoulders. He leaned over so our eyes were on the same level. "You sure?" He asked, his eyes filled with concern.
I didn't answer. I just kept staring at his eyes. It was just something about him that made me feel secure by just standing next to him. And actually seemed to care.

A tear rolled down my cheek, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I just needed to feel safe, and not alone. It really didn't matter that he was some random guy I met not even ten minutes ago because he didn't seem like a random guy, he somehow seemed a lot more.
I felt his arms fall from my shoulders to my waist and he wrapped the around me.

He didn't seem to care I was soaking his shirt or that I kept sniffing every five seconds. He held me close and it made me forget everything I just heard and it helped me escape the reality, at least for a while.