Without Love

“This place is…” Alanya trailed off. The house gave her the same reaction as seeing Emmett for the first time. “Amazing. It reminds me off dad and Michel’s apartment back home. So open and light.”

Emmett chuckled and took her jacket. “My mother, Esme, loves decorating.”

“It looks like she would have been good friends with Michel, he’s my step-father,” Alanya said and looked around, but she cursed under her breath when she realized what she just blurted out. She was scared Emmett was one of those small minded town folks.

He noticed how tense she was when they walked up the stairs. “It doesn’t bother me that your father is gay, Alanya, chill.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled and brushed her hair behind her ear. “I just heard a rumor that people are very homophobic in this town.”

“It’s good I moved here three years ago, and not some inbred,” he winked at her.

>X<

Emmett gave her a tour around the house and told her about his family, and that he was adopted. His family was out of town for a few weeks, but Emmett stayed behind with his brother, Edward. Alanya truly listened, surprised over herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she spent time with someone as attractive as Emmett without jumping straight in bed with them.

But there was something about him that drew her in. He was familiar to her; she’d already grown used to his cold skin, his dimpled smile and his loud, warm laughter. The fact that he treated her with respect, looked in her eyes when he spoke and softly held her hand melted her heart.

Alanya had felt like this before – two times. It changed both her life and herself the first time, all those months ago. But she chose not to think of it anymore and not remember it. It was a soft whisper from something that already felt like a past lifetime.

And she wanted to kick herself in the leg when she admitted to herself that it had been something special with Paul. He’d just waltzed in and ruined everything. His warm kisses meant something – everything. And he knew what she wanted without asking. She would stay away from him. Alanya wouldn’t risk more.

“What are you doing?” Alanya blurted out. Her thoughts confused her. The way Emmett acted, confused her.

They were sitting next to each other on the sofa, just watching a movie. But she couldn’t help but ask.

“What do you mean?” Emmett asked with well hidden hesitation.

Alanya moved a little away from him and stared at him. “No, just forget it.”

“Alanya…” he trailed off and brushed his fingertips over her cheek. “Tell me.”

“You are so… kind. Special. I don’t know!” She pulled at her hair in frustration. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

He chuckled and pulled her into a hug. “My mother raised me to treat a woman with respect. I also have an awesome personality that makes people like me instantly. My laughter is contagious and my smile dazzling. It’s just who I am, Alanya.”

She smiled against his neck before she pulled away. “Okay. I believe you. But you forgot to mention your godlike appearance that makes my knees go weak.”

Emmett sighed. “How could I forget to mention my glorious looks?”

They stared at each other in silence. Emmett tried to read her eyes, to see the girl behind her façade, Alanya knew that. but she also knew he wouldn’t see anything before she let him.

“Tell me the story about Alanya,” he said to her softly while still holding her eyes.

“The name or the girl?”

Emmett smiled at her. “I want to hear everything.”

“Well…” she put a hand on her chin and started thinking. “My mother and father had a one nightstand that resulted in me. They shared custody, but I lived with my mom and brother until I moved till my father and Michel in New York when I was almost seven. Then the usual story; spends two weeks in the summer with mother, smart in school back home and the typical goody-good girl. And now I’m here. Dad and Michel are moving to a tiny-tiny country in Europe and wants me to live with mom.”

“You don’t strike me as the goody-good girl,” Emmett said with a daring smile.

Alanya winked at him. “I grew up.”

“Did your parents just tell you that they had a one night stand and everything?”

She shook her head. “No, first mom had the talk with me that when a man and woman care about each other a baby appears, but dad told me the story when I was thirteen. He and mom knew each other from their early years, you know, their parents were friends. They met in Seattle when dad was on a business trip. He’d started meeting Michel, but he was still ‘in the closet’. Dad kind of used mom to make sure he was gay, that it wasn’t just something he imagined. They are friends, mom understood. She’s cool like that.”

“But?” he said.

Emmett wanted to keep her talking. He liked the sound of her voice, and how open she was towards him. It eased his heart, having someone else to listen to, someone to move the focus from his thoughts.

“But what?” Alanya sighed. “I’m a teenager. Call me rebellious. Dad thinks I’m out of control and think mom will be good for me, but they don’t get it.”

Emmett chuckled under his breath. “What don’t they get, Alanya?”

“They just don’t get that I really like sex,” Alanya gave him a sheepish grin.

His booming laugh was heard throughout the house. Alanya smiled and brushed her fingers over his cheek. Emmett froze for a split second as her breath washed over his face.

“Alanya,” he breathed and put his hand over hers and pressed it against his cold cheek.

“What happened with you and Rosalie? Why did things end?” she asked in a whisper, but kept herself close to him.

“Alanya,” Emmett said again and closed his eyes.

He could never tell her the truth. She was a human, and this wasn’t like it was with Edward and Bella. Alanya’s blood didn’t sing to him. She did, but not her blood. Her blood was like anyone’s blood, but her personality, the girl she was, enchanted him.

“Rose wanted marriage, kids and to move away from our family,” it was close enough to the truth to pass as a white lie. “I wasn’t ready. It angered her. She left me easily. She’s out there somewhere searching for someone that is willing to give her all that.”

Alanya wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn’t understand how a woman, a girl, just three years older than her could be ready for marriage, family and so much responsibility.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “I don’t understand her. Like why? But I think I understand you though; you want to live life, right, to see the world before you get tied down.”

Emmett chuckled. It was so far from the truth. He would gladly have kids with Rosalie – if it had been possible. “Something like that.”