I Woke Up Naked with a Headache...and a Husband?

"Why the hell is there a wedding band on your ring finger? Where the hell is the motherfucker who thinks he can marry you and not get the beatdown of his life? Where is he?" yelled Derek. Derek is this 5'8, buck seventy pound guy. He is of Spanish decent, can speak it fluently, along with Italian and Russian. He is my wingman like I am his. Whenever we feel like going out, getting drunk and hooking up, we go to each other. We are also protective of each other. Well all the guys are protective. They try to use the excuse that it's because my brother was their captain and ordered them to protect me no matter what. I find it to be bull.

"Calm down Derek. Maybe Star has a good reason for the ring. Star, would you like to explain?" That was Chester, nicknamed Jiminy, like the cricket from Pinocchio. The reason if you can't tell is because he was the calm one of the group. He would calm people down, think things through rationally, all those kind of things. He is about 6'1, buck ninety. Now if you were to first look at the guy you would say "There is no way that scrawny kid is in the army!" Well ladies and gentlemen, he is and he is one HELL of a shots man. I know this because I have been with the guys when they have gone to the shooting range and he holds all records there for longest shots. I have no clue about his info in the military, and quite frankly I don't want to know.

"Not really Jiminy. I did the stupid mistake of going to Vegas, drinking, gambling, more drinking, meeting a guy, more drinking, getting married, more drinking, sex and passing out. Before you ask, yes the certificate is real and legal."

"Ok so why exactly did you allow yourself to pull an Eric?" John asked. John is my all time best friend. He is the guy that tried so hard and for so long to hit on me that he didn't get the hint until I kicked his ass. He is the poster boy for aryan race- sunkissed blonde hair, clear blue eyes, about 5'10, 5'11, and weighs in at 180, all muscle. He also falls under the category of "in love with best friend." He's in love with me, not me with him. We've had those talks before, and we tried to date, but there was a point in our relationship that became too much. So we broke up and moved on. Well I did, he has his moments where he thinks we are still together. Sometimes it's helpful when we are at a club and sleazy guys are continuously hitting on me and can't take the hint.

"See I said the same thing to my my new hubby and he just laughed it off. But I can assure you it was completely accidental. It just involved that right amount of liquor where we screwed up."

"Here's a dumb question- was protection used when you guys fucked?" Leo asked. Ah Leo, the man that everyone picks on. He is the medic for the squad and Eric, being the Trekkie nerd that he was, noticed that his name was the short version of Leonard, aka Bones, McCoy. So he started to call Leo "Bones" and it stuck. It was kind of loud and rowdy with the guys being over and playing with the kids or talking to my dad and sister but when Leo asked that question everyone stopped and looked at me. I had to stop also and think about that.

"Well shit! I honestly can't remember. I'm going to call Zack and ask if he can remember." I walked away from everyone while pulling my phone out of my pocket. I scrolled through the contacts until I got to his name, which was filed under "hubby 2". (Long story behind the first hubby.) I checked the time real quick and with it being a little after one here I knew it would be a little after ten in Cali. Hopefully he was awake. If not then he would have an interesting voicemail to wake up too. It rang three times before an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi may I speak to Zack please?" I asked because I didn't recognize the voice. Luckily it was male sounding, but then again I never know. I mean I have heard some guys on the phone to sound very feminine.

"Oh, yeah sure, just a sec." I heard some rustling going on and something sliding before noise really increased to what sounded almost like a party, or social gathering. I heard some talking going on but couldn't make out what was being said.

"Hello?"

"Zack?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"It's the wife."

"Oh! Star babe, what's up?"

"Do you have some time to talk?"

"Yeah. The guys and girls are over because they wanted to barbecue so no worries. What's going on?"

"This is going to be a slightly weird question and really important, but did we use a condom back in Vegas?"

"No. Why?" he asked all calm like.

"I'm not on the pill."